How would your dream guy/woman be like?

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did you write this yourself? If so good job! : )

my dream woman would be:

Funny
Creative
Kind
Open-minded
Witty
Average Height
Good taste in music and movies
Honest
Loyal

I am not going to go into the details, but in general....


Most Important:

The person MUST be someone who can tolerate my autism and flaws and help me with them rather than getting angry at me or trying to make me change into an NT.
I need someone who is nice, truthful, decent, loyal, caring, treats others with dignity, can tell right from wrong, does not demand perfection.
Preferably someone who is intelligent, and responsible, and someone who does not care about gender roles or stereotypes.
Someone who is not racist, sexist, homophobic or bigoted.



Preferred but not required:

I would prefer someone who is healthy, athletic and not obese, but it is not completely required.
It would be nice if the person was not ugly, but really it does not matter much.
Someone who likes to learn things, especially science.
Someone who likes some of the geeky stuff I like.

bro all you need to do is show girls your poetry. Believe it out not, some girls actually like guys who have a sensitive and poetic side. You kno your a poet if you say the word tintinnabulates in a sentence.

Yup. Thanks



Tintinnabulates is one of my favorite words

I am very private about my poetry though, I don't often show it to people in real life; I'm too shy
Only some of my poetry I'd post online

That just reminded me of George McFly, with his sci-fi stories.

Part of me thinks its sweet and all in fun, coming up with lists - I remember doing it. But part of me knows that it can lock some people in and interfere with finding the right person.

What I wish I knew in the days I made lists like that? That it is an exercise in futility to think about "ideal," and to have a list of any sort. I sort of knew, and yet I didn't, if that makes any sense. I was more locked off to life and its possibilities than I look back and feel I should have been.

Doing it for fun is doing it for fun, and fine, but what happens when it takes over as a goal?

I married my soul mate but I can't say that he looks a whole lot like I ever expected him to. Life long love has to address what you need more than what you want and, for those who are Christian, God seems to know that better than we do. Keeping an open mind is imminently helpful. That said, there can and should be deal breakers when it comes to knowing what you can and can't live with. Which is a little different, because it is circling about to what you need, and not just what you want.

And for marriage, those talking about being on the same page about kids - that is a MUST. I've known too many divorces over the issue. Blows my mind that someone could get married and not be on the same page about such an essential life decision. You can never expect someone to change their mind or just assume on this issue. Of course, you can't exactly bring it up in the early months of a relationship, either, but it does need to get addressed if things get serious.

Anyway, just my older married lady perspective on the list game. Carry on.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 06 Nov 2013, 1:52 pm, edited 4 times in total.

Here is my problem. You don't sound like a man who wants a life-partner. And, well, all those terms you choose, you sound brainwashed. The women you describe with extreme dislike in your tone are an extreme rarity, and by starting with "liberal-nut" you sound condemning of everyone who is politically liberal, period. That kind of talk may appeal to men who think like you, but it does not usually appeal to women, and that includes those who otherwise do think like you. If you are willing to talk abusively about a whole group of women you don't know, how are you going to treat a wife? How are you going to talk to her when she does something you disagree with? Attack her like that? I have a very diverse group of friends, all sorts of religious and political beliefs, but if we heard a man a friend was dating talk like that, we'd counsel our friend against him. You want HER to be loving and caring and perceptive while not asking the same of yourself. That is not how you build the foundation to a marriage, and the type of talk does not seem very Christian to me, as in, "what would Jesus do?" Christian, not just what your local pastor tells you is Christian. Are we not asked to follow in the footsteps of Christ?

As for her helping you control yourself - not possible. You need to understand that is NOT HER JOB. I know this is just a wish list, and in a wish list you can dream all you want, but even wishing for that bothers me. Of course any women who wants to be a good partner is going to avoid dressing in ways that make you uncomfortable, or do things that make you uncomfortable; all you should have to do is let her know that it does just that. Once she knows, she would attempt to make choices that are more comfortable for you, because that is what couples do for each other. But you can't expect her to know it. And, more importantly, you need to understand this: when you are in love and waiting, EVERYTHING is sexy, and the bar is going to keep getting raised until she is wearing an iron maiden. Not practical and not happening. Which means that YOU have to keep your mind in control of your choices and actions, remembering why you made them. Strongly held values can and will stand strong in the face of all sorts of challenges, you just have to make that choice from day 1, and take responsibility for it without giving in to the unreal notion that women can do anything to control your desires.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 06 Nov 2013, 1:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I don't have an ideal, but there was a girl that liked me in the past that would have been a pretty cool girlfriend. She was nice, calm and friendly.

you should send me some of your stuff though! And I'll send you some of mine! I'm a writer as well. : )

Someone who asks me over or out from time to time.
Someone who calls or texts, even just to say, "I'm thinking of you."
Someone who wants me.
Someone who cares for her health, i.e. doesn't smoke, drinks in moderation, enjoys exercise.

That is all I ask.

I want a wife, not a live-in girlfriend, "friend with benefits", or any other such nonsense. I believe that when you truly love someone, you commit to them 100%, even if you're afraid. Divorce should not be an option unless infidelity or abuse are involved.

I'm talking about the "Liberal Left", i.e. anyone who believes in things like abortion, homosexuality, macro-evolution, total separation of church and state, etc. I don't condemn them personally, but folks who adhere to a naturalistic, anti-Christian worldview irritate the fire out of me.

How do you know what most women think? Are you telepathic?

Abuse is predicated on maliciousness, and none of my sentiments were sourced from that. I can be steadfastly against a belief system, without hating those who adhere to it.

Of course not; I'd pray for God to show me the right choice, and do my best to be civil.

I am a loving and perceptive man, but I'm not politically correct, nor do I wish to be. I call things as I see them, doing my best to avoid deliberate offense. If folks still choose to respond negatively, that's their problem.

Jesus was calm and nice at times, but He was also bold when needed. He called the Pharisees "a generation of vipers", "hypocrites", and "children of your father, the devil". He even drove some of them out of Solomon's temple with a whip; Jesus was not Barney the Dinosaur.

I didn't mean without me telling her of my problems, but neither gender can completely control ourselves all the time without the opposite sex's help.

That's not what I meant, and an iron maiden was an execution device. I don;t want a prude, but I don't want a slut either. The best way any woman can help any man to control himself is to keep her sexual anatomy covered (and I don't mean barely, either). Likewise, the best way for a man to help a woman control her sex drive is to keep what she finds attractive covered until their wedding night. Ultimately, we're in charge of our own minds, but temptation doesn't just approach from inside.

Apparently the wrong term came to the tip of my tongue; I was picturing what may be called a chastity belt.

Do you know what I find sexiest in a man? HIS EYES. So, woah, got to keep those covered? When you are in love with someone, you get turned on by a whole lot of things that are not overtly sexual, and that is my point. It really won't make much difference to your self control if she dresses modestly or not (although it might to random stranger men). When love is not involved, anatomy can inspire lust. But when love IS involved, all she'll have to do is look at you a certain way. So, the concept of control has to come from someplace else.

As for speaking for most women, of course that is a personal perception. But I know a LOT of women, from a wide variety of beliefs and ideals, and we TALK. And I can place a pretty solid bet that I know more about how "most" women think that you do. Given that I am one of them Be careful how you talk about other women; it can be a huge turn-off.

"Life partner" isn't a term suggesting living together or something other than marriage, it is a term suggesting that within whatever relationship you choose to have, INCLUDING and especially marriage, you will SHARE the best of yourselves, and make each other stronger. My husband helps me be my best self. THAT is a life partner. He doesn't order me around. He doesn't try to control me. He doesn't expect me to conform to his wishes or ideas. He SHARES his thoughts, his dreams, and what he wants, and I try to help him get there. And vice-a-versa. Give and take, yin and yang. Sometimes he is the strong one, sometimes he needs to fall apart a little and I have to be the strong one. We NEED that from each other, because sometimes life is incredibly difficult. I am really surprised that you jumped to the interpretation you did; have you that little understanding of what makes relationships REALLY work?

All the rest ... we could debate all night. But that isn't the purpose of this thread. I think, relationship wise, the above are the things I'd like you to see.

Agreed, but the sexual side should always be reserved for marriage; exploring it outside of lifelong commitment leads to all sorts of problems.

The concept may be sourced from elsewhere, but every (rational) man's most basic interest in a woman is sexual. If ladies knew how much the testosterone in our blood drives us crazy every day, you'd be disgusted beyond your wildest dreams. Sometimes, the intensity of it makes me angry myself, and I've dealt with it for 20 years since puberty. Men are extremely visual, so the slightest hint of sexuality can easily set our minds ablaze. We can only control so much of that by ourselves, which is why we need help from women.

My conclusion was largely reached from my own limited experience, but a lot of people sadly reject any notion of true, selfless commitment these days. Modern culture in America depicts marriage as a prison, and men as either dumb rocks or abusive egotists. When I see those concepts touted as undeniable fact, I rail against it like crazy...and one trait I often hear from such people is an avoidance of the words "husband" or "wife", especially in a positive context. When you said "life partner", it came across as an arbitrary "inclusiveness" term.

a hot girl with an even hotter personality

Personally, there are some things I won't compromise on.

Very high intelligence and a kind heart are the two big things.