Do they deserve you?

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This is messed up...

and I know this isn't PPR but I look at these $1600 and I think how far that would go in Philippines at the moment and I wonder how many cigarettes that's worth in prison and how many sleepless nights it equates in the minds of some people

I have prayed to god about it. and what I have been able to come up with, was that it was in god's court, not mine. that was the best I could do.

All I know is that if a plug is actually pulled in a bath, and the taps are no longer pouring out water, then eventually the bath has to be empty.

I'll leave that with you, and hope it helps.

Forgiveness does not mean to condone the wrong that was done. It just means to not hold vigil to it any more. If you are holding out for some sort of 'justice' to be done, consider what sort of thing you would consider 'justice' and then consider if you would be able to sleep at night soundly knowing that was done. And when, hopefully, you decide against, you can be purified by the fire of forgiveness and move on with your life.

Wait a minute, I paid the guy $1600 to get the materials to do some work on my house and add insulation and instead he takes the money and buys s**t to cook dope with and because I just signed over the debt to my BIL who was in a position to collect it and gave him the prison equivilant of $1600 I owe this douchebag something? I think not! I was stupid to hand him over the money to go get the materials but that doesn't mean I can't either get satisfaction out of the deal or give that money to somebody else who needs it and can get it, cause face it, I had a snowballs chance in hell of getting my money back on the outside from a dope cook! WHen I handed him the check to the hardware store he was a supposed reformed dope cook and the check was made out to them! How was I do know he had a buddy worked there and they just cashed it and took off. And no, the cops couldn't get it for me, I tried. The most I could have done was got him maybe 6 more months time which would be added on to his probation. He wouldn't be out nothing. Now he is. It's not like I had him ass raped in prison! He was already selling his ass in there. He's been in there plenty of times before for other stuff. That's his little way of making ends meet in there, everybody has their own s**t to run in there and that's his. My BIL simply took what he was getting right out of his hands before he could have any of it, until he thought the debt was paid. Worse happens in there than that, trust me. And that Motherf***er will think twice about f*****g somebody over for money again, I tell you what. He would never have thought nice Miss OliveOilMom had an ex brother in law up in the penitentiary that was still family to her. And even less of a clue that I could or even would call on him to collect said debt, or that he's a freaking hard hitting lifer who had the back to do that to him in there. Surprise, surprise! It's the only time in my life probably that I can ever use a prison connection like that. So, no. Karma ain't gonna be after me for what I did. I was Karma. Or rather Billy Jr was Karma and I was the phone call to him to let him know it was coming around.

You think I should have just sucked it up and cried over it because I didn't see it coming because I have AS? Maybe vented on here about how I can't do anything and never will be able to because I missed catching a con run on me by a f*****g professional? Nope. He cons NT left and right, all day long. Of course I missed it and I'm pretty damn wise to that s**t to begin with. He's good. What exactly do you think I should do in that situation? I called the cops. They couldn't do s**t. No proof. I could have sued him in civil court but that would take months and cost money I don't have and he had no way to pay if they did return a judgment against him. So, just suck it up cause I missed it and got s**t run on me? For real that's what you think I should have done?

If you can just let that go after an opportunity like that falls into your lap and you just happen to find out by accident that he's there in the same joint with somebody who can fix it, then you are a better man than I am. Cause I didn't look for this. I didn't worry about fixing him. I had let it go. Then life dropped the golden turd into my lap and I flushed it.

This was several years ago and that's a whole lot of money to us. There were no sleepless nights over it except at first because I felt like a fool, I was angry, and we didn't have the money anymore to get our house fixed. Then I did let it go. Then a while later, this falls into my lap.

Yes, lots of places need help, but I seriously doubt there was any way to fix that situation into one that would benefit charity of any sort. You could say to somebody that with all the problems in the Philippines right now how could somebody spend money on a computer or dessert or even a six pack, because it's not absolutely needed, but that's a whole other ball of fish and kettle of wax.

From your post it doesn't sound like you've let it go at all...but that's your shout, and it has nothing to do with me.

What do I think you should have done? I've no idea. I'm not getting at you. I haven't walked one step in your shoes, at all.

And enough of this better person stuff. It's missing the point.

yeah! they don't deserve me

I did let it go. That's the thing. I wrote it off as money gone that I'd never get back and a lesson learned. I didn't even think about it unless the subject came up. Letting something go doesn't mean forgetting entirely that the situation ever happened or denying it like Mel Gibson denies the Holocaust. It means just letting it go. When you let something go, you don't know where it's gonna end up. I hadn't thought about this guy in a while till his neice was over here and said he was back in prison. I didn't bother to ask about him but she was telling me everything going on in her family, and I asked how her mother was and she said that her mother was mad cause he was in <name of prison> and not the old one where he was before. (Before you say it, yes the mother and her first cousin had a "relationship" but she wasn't their child, they have no kids together, thank God). The mother was mad because she couldn't get up there to visit him.

I remember thinking that Billy Jr was in there and thought I'd bring it up to him next time we talked, and I did. My idea was that he would just beat him up and take $1600 worth of his stuff, but the way he handled it was his own idea and obviously more suited to the place than mine would have been.

It was also more apropos because JD metaphorically screwed me up the ass and I got nothing in return and he got really screwed in the ass and he got nothing in return. So, yeah.

Just because you either morally frown on or are too afraid to try revenge please don't try and paint everyone who does it with the same brush. Sure, there's tons of bitter a**holes out there just sitting around fuming about past hurts and fantasizing about getting back at the people who hurt them, even though they may never get a chance to do so or if they did get the chance they would back out of it. Theres also some that want revenge and go completely overboard, killing or ruining somebody's life for something not that important in the big picture. I try and keep it in proportion to what they did to me, and I don't ever go seek it out. When it happens, it's beautiful, when it doesn't then it's not meant to be. It doesn't happen more often than it does, but it's always a nice surprise.

This makes me both chuckle and frown.

I'm glad we agree.

You're so fired, you're rehired.

I don't think in terms of if she deserves me or not. If she loves me for the new me, and I still love her at that moment, then who's to say it's not worth a shot. Love comes and goes anyway. I don't believe in this unconditional love concept or soulmates and all that.

nah. if i improved my life and changed myself and it made a difference to the person in question, i wouldn't be interested.

There was this girl i was interested in but not particularly driven to pursue, but who knew and never made any real effort to reciprocate, she came back a couple of years later. I slept with her but then realised that the specialness of the situation had gone for me so i got her out of my bed and told her to go and sleep on the sofa.

The thing is, she'd gone on from the initial thing that never started with me and "tried" a few other guys in the couple of years, and I dunno, i just cant live with being second best.

i need someone that knows straight away. Not someone who on consideration decides that i was her best option after all.


tbh uve just made me decide something in life. half a situation is not worth your time.

plenty of fish in the sea and all that.

is it really love if it "comes and goes"? sounds more like limerence to me. I could well do without that.

Sometimes someone may reject you even though they see your potential. They may see exactly who you are, where you're at, and how much further you've got to go.

But the person choosing does not choose to reject the other because they seem them lesser than them - they just know that the other person will not be capable of being what they need in a partner right now.

Personally I'm of the school of thought that if someone rejects you on those grounds, it's probably because they value themselves too much (and perhaps value you too much also) to go into something when they know you're not at the same level or on the same page. I would call that wisdom.

Often in such cases if someone embarks on self improvement because if it, the self improvement would not have happened if it hadn't. Not always because if ego, although it may start out that way until you realise there are other reasons to do so.