So my GF cheated on me

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Hmm, you're probably right.
The OP was waiting to give him an explicit permission for sex but girls like her are very subtle in that and want the guy to 'lead' everything, he was waiting for something that will never happen.

That is incredibly confusing, yet it makes sense. Why don't I understand my own gender?

Indeed. Sometimes I hate being right.

Either way, sorry this happened to you man live in the pride of knowing she was not all she was cracked up to be while you remained honest.
And yeah, grab a friend some video games and call Dominos. Get a gamer night on the go or do whatever else it is that makes you feel awesome again.
There will be other women. Just be cautious and always question why they would go out with you, and don't be afraid to share intimacy with them. If they don't like it they will tell you or give you signals which you will have to figure out over time. There's always a risk we might cross boundaries that our partners might not like, but that's something you figure out together or discuss. Not doing that and not taking risks leads to nothing happening and no passion.

Edit: Removed question. Read more of the posts and feel it was irrelevant.

No that's a load of crap, whether you're right or wrong. I made a damn move, but she just wasn't responding to my moves even when she was ok with it. There was just no passion there.

And if you're right, I'm not gonna be dealing with that BS. I'll just move onto the next girl who puts me through less BS, there's plenty of them out there I should know. I've never been put through so many hoops by a girl in my life, she was really the outlier.

As a weird twist, I've been chatting with the ex-bf on Facebook, and he's telling me that he's not a playboy, and that she tends to make up lies like this when she's feeling bad, and that they didn't have sex. That's just fantastic. I don't think that's any less of a red flag tbh even if it's true.

Shau, if it helps I was dating a girl and the same sort of situation came up when I was 17.
I was a very nervous wreck of a guy then, and did not do anything in the relationship for fear of crossing boundaries or losing them.
By the time I actually did anything she was no longer attracted to me so was not too keen to take things further. The likelihood is while she doesn't sound like an honest person, the same likely happened to you.
She basically went back to her ex too, because he would take the lead and was more confident. The funny thing is the ex rejected her, even though she claimed she had sex with him behind my back. I know this is probably true because he was seeing another woman at the time, and has been married to her for several years now.

Well I would try to escalate things and she'd stop me...and she'd slowly and steadily escalate things with us and seemed happy taking the initiative. A complete role reversal and not what I was used to, but she would fight me every time I tried to take the lead. After so many times you're just like "Eh...whatevs."

I'm thinking it has nothing to do with me, just with her being a strange, weird outlier because honestly I've never had these problems normally.

The two of them deserve each other. Let her go, and wish her a wonderful life with her ex-boyfriend, full of cheating and other stupidity. Take your time you need, to get rid of the loathing. And then start fresh again without bad feelings, when you fell like doing so again. But dont force yourself into prejudices. There are simply different kind of people everywhere, you simply need to go on until finally meeting someone, having similar opinions then you.

So it was all a game? lol


How did she tell you that she slept with him? After a fight? After something happened?

Good for you Shau! If she's going to toy with you, she's not worth your time in the first place.

She's certainly not worth the boderline-rape method that Tequila and JM are advocating. That's not smart, guys. it's dangerous. Especially for people who have trouble reading signals. Even if that was what she wanted, it's not worth risking jail time in case he's wrong. Shau can and should find a more straighforward girl.

I understand your wish to help people dude but can you do it without putting down other guys for once? I was on about general displays of affection and kissing. You think of all the time here I'd advocate forcing yourself onto a woman sexually, gf or not? That was low, man.

Last edited by JanuaryMan on 25 Nov 2013, 10:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

If it's really all game then it's possible she'll want to go back to you, if that happens then tell her that you're already sleeping now with a much better and hotter girl.

I like the scenarios when a girl tries to come back looking for an ego boost or something. It makes me laugh.

Any last words before you go to jail, Mister?

This is such a f****d up scenario either way. I should probably find a less complicated girlfriend cause this s**t has driven me half insane in only 3 months. There's no way I'd handle a lifetime of this.

Not many women will give explicit permission like what OP wants. They may leave plenty of hints via body language and so on, but if he is not picking up on them...

...then you may have a situation where OP is being perfectly in line and compliant, but that his girlfriend is secretly getting so frustrated that she is looking elsewhere.

It sounds as though OP wants a sexually assertive and dominant woman.

OP also probably needs to understand that male sexual dominance does not ≠ rape.