Giving up

Post Reply New Topic

That's why I didn't mention him.

Thanks. I'm pretty sorry myself. He's still chatting to me like before and still coming over to watch the film, so nothing has changed really. Where do I find these rules?

I'm going to try and work on my positivity. It's tough though.

Yeah, you didn't. I should have made it clear that I wasn't directly talking to you, sorry. From the post, it sounds like he meant well, but the road to hell and good intentions and all of that...

The rules? Go to amazon, type it in. Or google Ellen Fein. It'll give you another perspective, definitely. I warn against applying it rigidly. You might be screening out men who would be ideal for you - especially if you tend to wear your heart on your sleeve.

I would suggest, if you are going to still feel like you want a relationship with him, to cancel this film night on him - or postpone it for a while. It'll save any chance of a bad situation and a knock to your self-esteem when you need it the least. You might sleep with him (well I don't know what you're thinking, but I do know how 'most' men think) and be hurt when it doesn't lead to a relationship.

I'm glad you want to work on your positivity. Yes, it can be tough, but it is worth it if done in a meaningful way, and if you believe in its power. I see it this way - you can only give away what you have inside. If it's 40% love and 60% loathing, that's the best that somebody's got to offer...don't know about you, but that's not good enough for me!

If you don't like the feelings you have inside, chuck them out. How? Find a way.

I can't afford to buy books right now, but will do so when I can.

I do still, yes. However, I don't want to lose a friend because of this. I don't think I'd sleep with him because I don't think he'd ask me to.

I'm going to work on this. My boss has been trying to encourage me to be less hard on myself, and I'm going to try and make a real effort.

to da fellas who got all upity - you seem to have skipped my last sentence which should have been a fair enough indicator that I was joking earlier on.

However, I reserve to be an agist b***h if the mood strikes me, it's mah constitutional right

Also, I guarantee you that none of you would ever speak to me that way in person while I would never type anything that I wouldn't be willing and likely to say to person to their face.

This is the difference between wisdom that comes from age and the wisdom that comes from youthful bravado.

It could just mean that you're overly presumptuous, and like to pretend that you know how other people would behave even though you really don't.
Which has nothing to do with wisdom.

My, I just can not fathom how so many people managed not to notice the evident hilarity and amusing nature of your previous post....

I don't know you alycat, but a short amount of time dealing with some other female with autism gives that a sound that rings true.

It's frustrating to deal with that situation if its true.

i think your main problems have nothing to do with other people.

theres probably nothing wrong with you at all, just the normal run of the mill things that are wrong with everyone, but you probably take it all too personally and emotionally.

just change the subject. think about something else for once. i dont mean that nastily, as you would probably take it if you're taking it emotionally, i mean just change the subject.

do some interesting things with your time instead of stewing. Women seem to do this thing with their lifes energy where they have no interests at all and spend every moment of their lives dwelling on human problems, inter-relational problems. Take a leaf out of the male book and spend some time doing just fun and meaningless things and living life for once.

laddo is right but i doubt u will take his word because when uve been involved with someone their words are loaded with extra meaning because of your history, you tend to add twists and turns to simple words. So take mine instead, as someone that doesnt know you, and pay attention to the actual words and nothing more, dont add meaning.

the girl i know adds a lot of extra things onto everything you say. She second guesses EVERYTHING. Stop adding complexity to human problems. Think simply. Don't add drama. He says you're a wonderful person so believe it.

and whats wrong with a guy wanting only you for your body you write as if this is a bad thing, at least they want you for something !

I'm not sure I understand. What situation do you think is true?

Gee thanks.

You're making assumptions about my life. I figure skate, volunteer with Brownie Guides, go to exercise classes, visit my family. I don't have no interests.

Laddo and I have had a 'complicated' history. However, this would not stop me from taking advice, just because it was from him. You're asking me to pay attention to your words and yet I can't as I don't really understand what you are trying to say.

that you're too negative and focus on the wrong things


lol, laddo said you take the negative of everything and you prove it with everything you say. you dont take from this my message to stop being negative, you only take that ive criticised you. Your problem isnt other people.

Even when people try to be nice you take it badly. you can never be nice to you because you twist things around to suit your own agenda, which is making yourself feel bad.

the person i know is just the same. She spends too much time being influenced by her emotions, which are probably entirely chemical and hormonal in nature rather than reality.

Last edited by woodster on 29 Nov 2013, 1:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yup... literally every single woman is some kind of relationship obsessive with zero hobbies or interests, and they just sit about navel-gazing while dwelling on the woes of the world. Just like every single man in the entire universe is really just hankering to get his end away when he decides to befriend a woman.

You mean... you never knew this ?
Well, I guess we have both learned something new today....

nah, i wouldnt agree with that completely, sarcastic or not. i know some extremely logical females, and i know some entirely sexually uninterested males.

but recognising that both sexes have a pull towards those directions isnt always a bad thing.


when i was 20 and feeling suicidal, realising that it was probably more to do with chemicals in my brain than an actual bad situation had a lot to do with pulling me out of it. emotions are entirely untrustworthy at times.

Last edited by woodster on 29 Nov 2013, 2:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

In your opinion, what are the wrong things that I'm focussing on and what are the things you think I should be focussing on?


I replied to each bit separately and you've then taken the answer to one bit only to reply to as proof that I am selective in what I hear?

You don't know this about me because you've never watched someone be nice to me and then seen how I respond.

Basically some girl has annoyed you and you're taking that out on me.

And yet earlier in the thread:

i go back to the piece of advice i heard earlier in the night.

never reason with a fool.

Sorry but theres no point in me posting in this thread. you cant use logic to solve emotional problems.

i am offended that my logic and reason is received as insulting. i clearly shouldnt have bothered.

self discipline is the only thing you're missing.

this probably comes across as completely insulting even if its just cold logic. Using the word fool is a big no no with an emotional person but hey, im just me, passing on information unemotionally and getting it received via emotions.

at least now i recognise what i did wrong with the girl i know.

...

you argue on technicalities too much. emotional reasoning at its best.



apologies to any forum mod that thinks ive been too harsh, i never meant to cause problems. I just have to answer the questions im asked in the best way i can/ need closure, i never intended to get into something where being brutally honest would offend. i wont post in this thread any more.

If you really were logical rather than emotional you'd be answering the questions I asked rather than getting upset/huffy.
It wasn't a technicality, it was you contradicting yourself.

i dont want to argue like this. generalised advice taken the wrong way is a boring waste of life.