Feelings of bitterness

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I don't know honestly. I usually play horror genre video games with zombies. The one thing I would reference, is how I made friends at school. After, I seemed to fall into the tar pits. What happened? You want to honestly find people, you have to be happy first, that is what I think. That, and actually being around them.

I wouldn't say I am completely bitter and cynical. But the same thing happened to me. Once my people from high school started getting married and making their babies, I was just dropped. They are on a different level in life that I cannot match. So I just LEG it. But going to public places I see tons of couples. It does get to me but I am happy for them as well. Everyone seems to talk about their BFs/GFs a lot more than usual too.
Sadly I don't think I'll get a new GF unless I accomplish getting these material things in my life that are required. Maybe I'm in the wrong city? Who knows. I try not to dwell upon it. Be as inhuman about it as possible. But when you have that one night where you can hear your roommates having sex in their room, and the neighbors having sex in their room (because the walls are so thin), you tell me.

I am bitter, angry, and envious. I had a boyfriend but the relationship was terrible even though we loved each other. No one else has ever had any interest. I see people as or more unattractive than me and they still have takers. I feel like despite the fact I'm quite high-functioning there is something I'm missing that no book can teach me.

I have Autism but I'm more of high-functioning. No one would know unless I told them. But I notice. We will always be behind somehow in life. And its like people can sense that. We tend to see some things as not a problem at all, that the NTs see as a problem. But when we see things as a problem, the NTs don't. And they look at us crazily for seeing those problems as problems.