OkCupid experiences?

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Did you ask any girls to go on a date with you? You have to ask them.

I sure have and none gave me a response. I'm perfectly attractive physically according to a large amount of people who have told me so, but for some reason nobody bites.

Well then the problem isn't yours if you asked them. Ball's in their court. You've done everything you can.

I can't accept that it's just coincidence that has made it so difficult to meet women. It makes no sense. I have to be making a mistake somewhere that causes them to lose interest in talking to me.

Maybe the problem is that your communications are lasting a month?

Seriously.

That's a long time to chat back and forth on a dating website without deciding to meet.

I'd think it should happen more in a matter of days or a week or so. Exchange a few messages, see if you're interested in one another, get offline & meet in person for a simple date, see how things go.

If you're swapping messages for a month you're either sending far too many back and forth and there's not all that much more they want to know about you because you've said so much online and they've made up their mind, or there's far too much time between them for interest to fade.

Try shortening up the cycle & limiting info if you're perhaps communicating too much online that really should be presented in person, as you, yourself. I bet you get better responses & some dates with a "less is more," approach.

If a girl really wants to know she will push for a meeting. I'm currently "chasing" someone on ok cupid to find out more about him, see if he might be compatible.

There is someone else who I am interested in slightly but was a real tosser to me some years back. That is a "tread carefully" area.

The sad truth is, if a girl chats and the conversation dies, she isn't really interested. Guys do it to me all the time, too. You haven't done anything wrong. It's just the way online dating works. You're not put on the spot so you can freely rudely ignore people.

It's just annoying to me at times the sheer volume of people who aren't interested in me.

@Eureka13: To answer your question, it's a *very* strong want. However, I need a partner with a very high sex drive.

So I have been trying to use copious and overt flattery mixed with humor for some of my conversation threads. So far it seems promising because the tone of their responses it actually very different from what I am used to.

I'm finding that asking about information is not a good way to talk to people at all.

Interesting. I personally don't respond well to overt flattery - maybe because I'm an anti-social Aspie and I feel it creates a social obligation of some kind? Humor I respond to better than anything else, and a little back-handed flattery is okay.

I guess because women are generally considered to be more "at risk" than men in a potential romantic/sexual relationship, they need more reassurance than men to feel comfortable taking the messaging to the next step? And that's what the flattery provides?

Also, in my last stint at online dating, I found men were more interested when I was less forthcoming. The more information I provided, it seemed the quicker they lost interest. Again, could just be MY experience.....but I love that we're all sharing this stuff. Maybe between us we'll come up with a guidebook for Aspie dating.....lol.

^ an ex told me once that men are hooked on mystery and lose interest when they feel like they have figured the woman out. This could have been just him though, but now I try and weed out the pscyhos by throwing as much info at them as possible in the hope they will figure out the real me soon enough to not get involved in my life and mess it up.

Don't take it personally. You are one face in a sea of men. Unless a person is extremely lucky, or has great photos and a really interesting profile, sadly, they just appear as another fish in the sea.

Ehhhh, getting a billion messages tends not to be "awesome." 95% of them tend to be creepy and rude, from what I've heard. That's why every woman's profile has "Replies Selectively" on it. Reddit has an entire Subreddit dedicated to it, in fact. Some of them are pretty funny.

I'd rather get no messages than messages from men with less intelligence than the average 6 year old.

No kidding. IIRC, one of my "must haves" was along the lines of "must be able to write a message of more than one sentence - decent spelling and grammar are appreciated, too!"

So, someone somewhere replied to one of my posts and pointed out that some aspie women are, in fact, looking to find a romantic relationship rather than treat dates as a distraction that may yield results. I think that may have been a very good tip for me... OR it is setting me up to go into a relationship that has a feedback imbalance. But at the moment I am having some really, really nice conversations and I think they may lead on a good path, so thank you.