What's your flirting style? (link provided)

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Physical style: not at all physical
Traditional style: not at all traditional
Polite style: not at all polite
Sincere style: not very sincere
Playful style: not very playful

Sounds about right. I'm doomed.

And to think the phrase Nice Guy TM makes me mad...

the flirting style is all. And yes, as for what you said about the being honest and true to self, sincere types strongly believe in that as well.



I've mentioned n this thread that physical flirts are usually very direct about their sexual interest in another person.

Physical style: physical

You scored higher than 40–50% of other survey takers in your demographic.

For this flirting style, you are very similar to the majority of people. It is not a dominant style for you. This flirting style probably doesn’t play a big role in your flirting behavior.
Traditional style: somewhat traditional

You scored higher than 60–70% of other survey takers in your demographic.

You believe that men should make the first move and women should not pursue men. You are somewhat likely to feel uncomfortable in a flirting situation where a woman takes charge. You tend to be somewhat choosey about who you flirt with, and it is somewhat likely that you are selective about who you pursue romantic relationships with. In serious relationships, you believe that you should know a potential relationship partner for a long time before approaching them. You are somewhat likely to seek out important and meaningful romantic relationships.

Polite style: polite

You scored higher than 40–50% of other survey takers in your demographic.

For this flirting style, you are very similar to the majority of people. It is not a dominant style for you. This flirting style probably doesn’t play a big role in your flirting behavior.

Sincere style: somewhat sincere

You scored higher than 70–80% of other survey takers in your demographic.

You are somewhat interested in seeking emotional connection and showing sincere interest when flirting. You find flirting somewhat flattering, and believe that personal and private conversation is the best way to develop romance. When flirting, it is somewhat likely that you are:
Successful
Confident
Able to quickly determine relationship potential
In serious relationships, you are somewhat likely to experience a strong emotional connection and sexual chemistry.
Playful style: not at all playful

You scored higher than 0–10% of other survey takers in your demographic.

You are very unlikely to use flirting to boost your self-esteem and to have a good time. You strongly believe that flirting should be reserved for the purpose of developing a relationship. You are very unlikely to flirt with those who you have no long-term romantic interest. You are very unlikely to find romantic interest in many other people, and to flirt everywhere you go. - See more at: http://flirtingstyles.dept.ku.edu/resul ... AEySZ.dpuf

aspiemike: I know you've mentioned it. I was tangenting on the NT habit of touching people they're interested in, which is also physical (and direct), but not in the same way.

Because a bunch of them apparently think that walking up behind you and grabbing you is going to turn out well, flirting-wise.

I've seen a more sincere physical side work out better than what you describe. What I mean by that, is the guy is talking to the girl, guaging her interest level (pays attention to her body language), and slowly and gently puts his hand on the girl's back or maybe her lap. I've seen that approach work out far better. I've never felt good about coming up from behind someone and grabbing them. I see a lot of people do that at clubs and the looks on the women's faces describe that they feel uncomfortable and awkward.

aspiemike: Huh. Maybe something I'm doing is being read as receptive and I don't know it. I get grabbed often by male friends, male acquaintances and/or the persons I'm dating, and sometimes by strangers.

For instance, there's a perfectly nice (and handsome) man in my program who insisted on coming up behind me and putting his arms around me. I like him just fine, and I talk to him often about life, or the classroom, or how things are going (and I've talked to him about this, but he doesn't really understand and insisted it means I don't like him until I just braced to let him do it).

He likes to walk up behind me and throw an arm around my waist or shoulders, pulling me toward him, and walk like that. He's in a relationship and so am I, and I find his behavior confusing. But I like him, and he's not going to stop, so I just put up with it.

I've also been grabbed and humped on the dance floor, had a male friend come up behind me and paw my tits while I was talking to an organizational representative, and generally people seem to touch me WAY more than I'm comfortable with.

I wonder what it is they're responding to. In many of these cases, I'm not facing the person and I'm clearly preoccupied. I get visibly upset when they do it, too, and I've actually punched someone for it. You'd think it would occur to these men that they're souring their relationship with me from the tension, let alone me turning around and chewing on them for it.

Physical style: somewhat physical

Traditional style: not very traditional

Polite style: very polite

Sincere style: not at all sincere

Playful style: not at all playful



Honestly, I don`t know how to flirt. People often confuse my politeness for flirting.

This.

Except for me instead of it being politeness, it's playfulness. A lot of my guy friends that observed my behavior around women say that I flirt with every girl I meet, but I'm not flirting at all, I'm just a playful friendly person.


I tend to be extremely social and bubbly when around people. It's a nervous reaction. I also can't help but constantly smile and laugh.

It's the main reason why socializing is so exhausting on me. I have just always been a people pleaser so I feel the NEED to engage people - make them laugh, be friendly, interested, and if there is some part of them physically or some personality trait that I admire, I will tell them so.

I can understand how that is seen by others as flirting, but meh. The only time I consciously flirt is if my jokes turn sexual, subtly or not.

I used to be that way, but now I focus on being more intense. I think the intense serious way I communicate tells people that I'm really not trying to flirt.


I wouldn't find it to be a turn-off if I knew a woman was coming on to me. I just have no idea when it happens. Sometimes I realize it several days later when I replay a mental recording of the interaction.
SO MUCH for being an opportunistic male!

This quiz made me realize that there must be standardized behavioral traits. I never thought to look for patterns with that sort of thing before.
I wonder how "NT's" process behavioral relationship development simultaneously with the topics being discussed. I think once I master that, I could finally convince a girl to "go steady."

Well it says I am not physical, not traditional, very polite, very sincere, not playful- I can assure you this doesn't work, but it is who I am. I'm starting to seriously consider dropping out of the dating market and posting an official notification on facebook saying I am no longer interested in romance and no one need apply and no relatives should ever pester me again about my lifestyle choice. I am not suitable for romance. End of story.

The quiz's results were very accurate in my case too.

Don't lose hope or I will be compelled to as well, since we've recognized we have similar positions on what is expected from romance. Also I would really not trust this test to be meaningful/logical, given my results ( http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5845102.html#5845102 ).

Obviously from what we have seen so far, Polite is the most common flirting style across the board for both males and females. So I would gather that this is the problem people feel they have. The polite doesnt come out right away to state interest and follows rules rather rigidly. Makes sense with what I have read on the forums here and the advice people have towards dating and courting.

So may the reason why people say "Nice guys finish last" be politeness? I mean, if it's that difficult to show interest in someone else, than we might have a reason as to why... too polite maybe.

I've not taken the test, nor read the book, but can say I'm so pathetic my current girlfriend, whom I adore, carefully and gently explained she was flirting with me when we were first hanging out. She's also the one who carefully and gently explained to me that I was an Aspie. And we're still together. Because of her, I found a doctor, got evaluated, and was diagnosed this past Friday, the tenth.

She's awesome and I adore her and she me, but she still has to sometimes explain things to me. But hey, it was only nine years ago that I was able to figure out things like sarcasm, subtlety, nuance and be somewhat less literal and "innocent" as friends have been saying for years.