10 Jan 2014, 1:09 am
10 Jan 2014, 1:45 am
10 Jan 2014, 3:15 am
10 Jan 2014, 4:35 am
buffinator wrote:
So girl 2 blocked me on okcupid and girl 1 hasn't responded to my message from 2 days ago. The latter I'm not sure is an issue as I might just have sent an uninteresting message. I need advice on that, should I stop talking to her untill the next date? I don't want to shoot myself in the foot trying to keep the convo going and then making her like me less as a result.
So, I think I know what went wrong with girl2 and I need some perspective. To summarize what had been stated we went out and due to inclimate weather I was very late. We had fun talking but in doing so made her, in turn, late for a meeting. I was still having fun talking to her so instead of taking my train home I rode with her for a few stops. In my mind that was sweet and gave us more time to chat.
I think i may have missed a few social cues that she wanted me to leave and when I didn't she might have misinterpreted my actions. At one point she asked me if I wouldn't be late to work later that night (I had 3 hrs to spare so not really). Later she said something I didn't hear clearly but it was either "this isnt the stop for my apt" or "we aren't going to my apt." At the time the comment seemed non-sequitur and I didn't know how to respond so I didn't say anything. I now think she had decided I was a threat and was trying to get me to leave.
When we got to the train station she left at a hurried pace without saying goodby or without turning to face me to say goodbye (don't remember). But at the time I thought it was because she was late... now I'm not so sure.
After she went through the gate I turned to wait for my train said hi to another girl in the terminal. She left the shelter to go stand outside in -10f weather. In my post processing I realized that she might have picked up on girl2's emotions and I had not. Idk what to make of it.
So, I think I know what went wrong with girl2 and I need some perspective. To summarize what had been stated we went out and due to inclimate weather I was very late. We had fun talking but in doing so made her, in turn, late for a meeting. I was still having fun talking to her so instead of taking my train home I rode with her for a few stops. In my mind that was sweet and gave us more time to chat.
I think i may have missed a few social cues that she wanted me to leave and when I didn't she might have misinterpreted my actions. At one point she asked me if I wouldn't be late to work later that night (I had 3 hrs to spare so not really). Later she said something I didn't hear clearly but it was either "this isnt the stop for my apt" or "we aren't going to my apt." At the time the comment seemed non-sequitur and I didn't know how to respond so I didn't say anything. I now think she had decided I was a threat and was trying to get me to leave.
When we got to the train station she left at a hurried pace without saying goodby or without turning to face me to say goodbye (don't remember). But at the time I thought it was because she was late... now I'm not so sure.
After she went through the gate I turned to wait for my train said hi to another girl in the terminal. She left the shelter to go stand outside in -10f weather. In my post processing I realized that she might have picked up on girl2's emotions and I had not. Idk what to make of it.
lol, this sounds so much like that girl I talked about in the "Why would she degrade me". Trust what I'm going to say because it's very similar to what happened to me. She is threatened by you. You did make a mistake by hanging around. I'm 95% sure the meeting excuse from her was total BS. That girl is a waste of your time (go read that thread if you want, it's insanely similar to what you describe). She tried to shrug you off nicely by asking you if you would be late to work (she was trying to get you to go away). After you hung around, she freaked out and walked fastly away from you (my girl did the same thing even though I didn't talk to her for 2 weeks
). She likely thinks she's better than you.
Listen to my advice, don't text her, no contact at all. She blocked you for a reason. Use it as a lesson. That girl is single for a reason. It's total crap that she got that impression but hey, life moves on. If you do contact her, it won't end well for you.
On date 1, give her a couple more days then send another one, if she doesn't respond to that then move on from her too. Girls on OKC I contact once, wait a couple of days, then send something similar again. 2 times should be the max you contact someone on OKC before you know they are ignoring you.
Good luck dude, I'm rooting for you since it looks like very similar s**t happened to both of us.
I'll leave off with this quote from a coach that goes to everyone and I've taken to heart. "You miss on 100% of the shots you don't take". Keep looking, you seem like a good dude.
10 Jan 2014, 4:14 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,678
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
10 Jan 2014, 6:07 pm
