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Well, why do so-called dating sites offer a "friends only" option as one of the default choices if that's not actually an option?

In my case, it's much harder for me to find female friends because I think too much like a guy and simply don't understand the "average" NT woman, nor do I have a scintilla of anything in common with them (clothes, hair, babies? YUCK!). I've always gotten along better with men than with women (had way more guy friends, PLATONIC guy friends, throughout my entire life than I have had female friends, until the last 6 years or so). Never had a female Aspie friend, but would like to! Also, I currently have several close female friends (who unfortunately don't live anywhere near me), but the "guy friend" spot has been vacant. My S.O. has had to double as my "best guy friend" (who has, on occasion through the years, been gay). Now both spots are vacant.

As far as the age thing? If I'm looking for people to go on motorcycle rides with, I'd rather they be older (i.e., beyond the the stage of thinking they're immortal, and somewhat safety conscious). Whereas my age range for dating would be my age through my age plus 10, my age range for friends would be 15 years younger to 15 years older.

And as for single? What married women do you know that would be cool with their husbands meeting "some woman" on a website for ANY purpose?

Also, "near me" was never a requirement. I do my best communicating on a keyboard, so I was (and still am) honestly looking for pen pals anywhere.

Hopefully this will serve as some insight into the mind of an Aspie woman in general, not just mine.

Also, the guy I was talking about did NOT work for the same organization as me. He worked for a completely different company; we just happened to be in the middle of a series of meetings (every two months or so) on a project on which both of us were peripherals, not principles. Hell, HIS boss, who WAS one of the principles on the project, had attended a number of get-togethers at my house, which is one of the reasons I felt comfortable shooting this guy a message in the first place.

Wow, this guy is my new hero.

Totally vindicates what I've been saying about the questions on other threads, you need to answer a goodly amount of them, and in a way that will appeal to the type of person you're trying to attract. Now I totally want the guy's profile crawling software, I've been doing that manually for years, but his method is far more efficient.

FB notifications have to be set by you.
Default sets a plane to put your name in the sky along with your account and your credit card details 1 day after you create the account.

They are fairly nice to give you a one day window imo

Lol

It matters not, what matters that they are failing in real life dating-wise, hence why they use dating sites.




I have learned to not hope or talk about any date before things become significant, no matter how great the first date sounded.

Wouldn't have pegged you for a superstitious guy Boo.

You will be interested in another observation I have made on OKC (keep in mind this is mostly UK people), the women are much more attractive than men and clearly have made more effort with their pictures. On the other hand, the men probably don't realise (or maybe don't care) about the competition, so I think they are very picky, contacting ladies who are probably choosing from much better looking options. I think you suggested something similar before, but I can see it now very clearly because the competition is so fierce - it's worse than FB, so not really sure that people who don't come across well in photos or on paper have a fair chance on these things.

After all that effort to create the best possible profile it still took this guy 88 dates to find the right girl?
And she might not have given him a chance if he was not a blue-eyed 6 foot-tall man? So what's the moral of this story?

Actually, she found him. So the moral of this story is that it will happen when it is meant to happen.

Are we still going gay dancing next month?

The moral of this story:
- Girls on okc are extremely and abnormally picky to the extent that they pass a handsome genius like this one.
- That success on okc is very hard.
- That geeks aren't generally desirable at all even on okc, and even the handsome, tall and successful ones of them.


I personally find it very discouraging, not sure about you, or the others here.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 22 Jan 2014, 9:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

OK but I really must confront you on something: you keep saying girls are picky as if it is a bad thing. There is no such thing as abnormally picky. Settling tends to result in unhappiness, there have been studies, don't make me hunt for them. Everyone needs to be as picky as possible to ensure their own happiness.

There's a difference between picky and abnormally picky, I am talking about frequent okc girls in particular, they ARE abornormally picky, like addicted on drugs, believe me.

I imagine they probably get a "high" of sorts from receiving tons of messages, and then start thinking in extreme(black/white) terms about the guys on OKC to a point where it doesn't make any sense.

From another thread for a related discussion:





So as you see leafplant, being that picky isn't good for the females too, they are not immortals after all.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 22 Jan 2014, 10:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

I get what you are saying, but I cannot fathom why you think it's not like that the other way around too. Plenty of guys are super picky because there are far more attractive women than there are attractive men so the ones who get to choose really get to choose and be super demanding.

In other news, I have been messing on OKC, not really taking it seriously but have just been matched at 90% with some guy from CA who sounds really interesting. Now I'm all like

Far more attractive women than guys? Are you one of the "lesbian bisexuals" (bi women who find women way more sexually attractive).

Are you looking at women profiles on okc? I bet you didn't browse enough.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 22 Jan 2014, 10:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

No the "abnormally picky" thing is well known. The thing is that most people aren't terribly different from one another so when confronted with 1000s of options they start creating arbitrary hurdles for potential matches. There is actually a known situation where girls who get too obsessive on online dating become crippled even in IRL dating and are pretty much unable to not find fault with anyone and end up not dating anyone for years despite the plethora of options.