what to do if you're urgly

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Beauty is culturally determined. For the Japanese 100 years ago it was blackened teeth. For the Chinese it was women whose feet were mutilated.

For us, beauty is defined by TV commercials. An advertiser has 30 seconds to capture your attention and associate a pleasurable sensation with his product.

Like Pavlov's dogs, we all respond to pictures of the beautiful. However, even for those who are able to mimic these half minute tableaus, life continues and the image is difficult to maintain.

For the super model life can be a prison. She is unable to do anything that would deflate the image. No one can picture her passing gas or picking her nose. Worse, as time passes, she clutches to the props of her profession applying increasing amounts of makeup so that she can try to appear as she once was.

The beautiful can capture attention...for 30 seconds. After the initial attraction other factors start to enter the equation. Many beautiful movie stars from the silent era were unable to maintain their "beauty" when they spoke.

We live in a time when the pace of life is such that the 30 second attraction is usually sufficient. Most people are not thinking in terms of marriage and family. Most think in terms of romance and sex. The meaningful "relationship" is replacing marriage so that the length of a relationship is starting to approximate the 30 second window.

If a person wants to find someone with whom to spend his entire life, a sense of humor would be much more important than how they look. If a person wants to find someone with whom to spend 30 seconds, then deeper qualities are less important.

As a Christian I am called to selflessness and love. I might frequently fail in this, but I would be foolish to entangle myself with someone who did not have the same values.

Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

part 2 of 3

hope this doesn't come off as objectiving women but i only trying to show my attraction differences

too big


attractive sizes




this lady is borderish, shes a bit large but has a pretty face, i wouldn't limit her out but her personality and willingness to lose weight with me would be the deciding factor( part of what i want with a gf is a walking buddy)
http://www.bajiroo.com/wp-content/uploa ... orld-3.jpg

part 3 of 3

me and i'll probably remove them and hide if people say mean things

old but the only body pictures i taken and my body is pretty much the same but 2" taller


Back when i airsofted oh it was fun to be with people and run around

i'm on the right


most recent pictures

what can i change about my face as thats the basis of looks women judge me on via okc( picks are from chest up in which you cant see i'm a little fat)

i really dont want a woman who sole purpose of being with me is my body, as what heppens if i gained weight again, they'd leave me. also when i was trying to join the military was when i was in my best shape, 25 pounds lighter, i wasn't much smaller belly then i have now. just like inch or two pants size.

the major problem i have is i can't do exercising alone. with others its fun and social and with friends i felt less awkard. If i had the money or space i'd love a treadmill then i could walk on it while watching tv. i like walking/hiking i just can't do it alone, i get afraid and have anxiety or freeze up when i try to. i'm really a social person, with other people i can do alot of stuff, but now they all gone.

I don't think you are ugly at all. I can't say I would pick you out of a crowd based on looks alone, but I can't say I would rule you out based on looks alone either.

I am bisexual and "bisizual", kind of a joke term I use that I find men and women of all shapes and sizes attractive (though as you said, probably not past a certain point, but the blonde girl in a bikini you posted is very pretty).

I have seen FAR worse looking guys than you in relationships.

This is my ex husband (our divorce had nothing to do with his looks ftr):



He is happily remarried and expecting a baby (we have a 5 year old son together). He is 29, this is his third relationship ever (we were married 6 years, he had a gf for a year and a half before that)

He's a great guy and everyone he meets likes him a lot (even the guys I've dated since have been very fond of him). I think this would be the case no matter how he looked, and I think there are many attractive women who would find him dateable. He's not ugly, but not someone most people would pick out of a crowd based on looks alone.

I really do think looks only go so far, and I can honestly say you are not any worse-looking than many of the guys I have dated, and it's not like I don't have more physically attractive options. It's like timf said, physical beauty only goes so far. I know plenty of men and women who appear attractive until they speak. Ignorance and meanness are far more unattractive than some extra pounds or whatever else might be considered physically unattractive.

You're not ugly; you're just normal-looking.

Overweight guys have it worst (yes, worse than overweight women), according to an experiment on okc:




Even obese women aren't messaging him.