I contracted Genital Herpes (HSV 2)! Help!

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^^

This. +1

Thank you for your responses.

I have thought about it, the real issue is related to dating. I mean, I could live with this if I was not to reveal it to anyone else. But this disease forces me to tell partners about it, and it substantially limits the possible partners I can have. Also, I cannot bare the thought of infecting my potential wife with this dreadful disease.


How do I deal with:

- The stigma of me from telling potential partners
- That the number of possible partners has been significantly reduced because many would not knowingly go into a relationship with someone infected by herpes 2.
- Feeling like I am broken, worsening my confidence.
- Cannot have "free sex" with a potential coming wife, without the high risk of infecting her.


I hate myself for not having taken better care of myself. The only comfort is that I do not have HIV. But just the fact that I (and articles) mention herpes and HIV sufferers in the same sentences really frustrates me.

My condoleances.

It's the Aspie obsession doing the talking. Go back and read all of the posts from those of who have had HSV way longer than you have.

Take some valtrex and maybe some vaccines to reduce the spread of it and becareful that all I can say.

It's certainly depressing to receive the news, but it's not a fatal condition or anything.

Believe it or not, there are websites devoted to dating for people with STD's. http://www.positivesingles.com/

If you both have it, one less thing to worry about and who knows, it might actually make it easier to date.

Thank you for the dating advice.

The problem to me is that I now not only have the AS-issue, but also the Herpes 2-issue. I cannot believe I did this to myself.

I should try to be thankful it is not a fatal condition - I could consider it a warning that I should take life more seriously, meaning that one has only got one body, and one chance.


The whole concept of never being "perfect/whole/fully functional/clean" is so hard to deal with. I mean you cannot deny I am now not more "damaged goods" than I was before.

The issue it that of having tell future partners about it. I can never allow myself to forget about it if I can get rid of the symptoms. I will always have to remember the herpes and the dreadful night I was infected.

As Metal Man said reread the posts here. I think you need to really listen and understand what people here are trying to tell you.

'The whole concept of never being "perfect/whole/fully functional/clean" is so hard to deal with.

There is not one human on this planet (or any other) who is "perfect/whole/fully functional/clean." Everyone has some flaws. At least yours is minor, treatable, and unlikely to be a deal-breaker for any potential partner.

If it *is* a deal-breaker for a potential partner, then that person is not worth your time and energy. Only heinously shallow people care about perceived "perfection" in their partners. Do they love you for how you enhance their image, or for who you are?

Seriously, you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

I know no human is perfect. That is very true. I have an issue with this, I think, which the herpes is triggering immensely at the moment.

I would have a similar difficult time with e.g. breaking my arm in case it would not heal properly, making it practically much less functional afterwards. But only in case it turned out to be permanent damage (similar to the herpes). How does one deal with these obvious "permanent physical losses" due to self inflicted inappropriate behaviour?

There are two options here:

1. You can spend all of your time (and possibly the rest of your life) moaning and wailing and rending your garments about it, thus positively ensuring that you will never have a fulfilling and rewarding relationship.

or

2. You can accept it, put it behind you, and continue on your quest for for a fulfilling and rewarding relationship, knowing that you now have a useful tool for weeding out potentially shallow partners.

A lot of guys aren't going to want to date a positive girl, meaning the advantage women have of being able to pick and choose is weakened.

I understand I should try to use it positively. But the problem is, if I do find that non-shallow partner, my sex-life with her will forever be destroyed.

I have never truly had "free sex" without using protection, and now I am never safely/freely going to experience that.

I have f**ked my own life up, even if I did find an understanding partner. To be honest I could understand if someone without the condition would not be understanding. Love is temporary, herpes is for life. It is depressingly true. Even if love was for life, herpes would still make a truly awful impact on that love-life.

I should have acted more responsibly, I can blame the woman that gave it to me for not telling me, but in the end I did suspect she was not the "truthful kind", but even then, I did do it.

To be honest, I thought AS was a card dealt, that was quite hard to deal with. Not because of my own thinking, more as a result of the rejection one has so often been met with by others. It is not easy to be different.

But I have gotten used to living with this challenge, because I could not blame myself for it.

THIS condition, however, can I not blame anyone for, but myself.


This last drop made the bucket overflow. We cannot escape how many people think of this. Implying a careless, promiscuous, irresponsible being.

This is how I feel about it:




This might be a "comic", but really, it is true.

so, while you are here, wasting your time "rending your garments" (:lmao:) about this, there is a lovely woman out there with the same problem lamenting about the same thing.

You are not the only person on the planet with this problem, that's for sure. If you convince yourself that the right person for you will be someone that doesn't have this problem or will not tolerate this problem than really you have dug your own grave. Stop f*****g complaining there are people with AIDS out there ffs.