How to Mention a Dealbreaker on my Profile (Tattoos)?

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Some people, a lot of them female, believe that men expressing any sort of preference or attraction/attraction to a particular aspect of a female is "judgemental."

Of course, many of these people are closet hypocrites and judge men.

And yet the entire point of a dating profile is to be judged as "worth my time" or "not worth my time"; in fact, the matching mechanic on dating sites is letting a machine judge everyone else for you, based on answers you've given.

That's why vocalizing deal-breakers just seems to be using a dating profile exactly as it was designed to do: to weed out who you won't work with.

That seems to be the sentiment of most men 30-50 that I know who are currently dating. Unfortunately, I cannot take that attitude because I would be lying to myself. There are things I would never put in because everything I say gets taken the wrong way (like I can accept a Christian girl but NOT an Evangelical or Fundamentalist) but this has to be disclosed somehow. There's just too many women with tattoos today and like Kezzstar said, many are not immediately visible.

It goes without saying that I wish I could cut the BS and say what's really on my mind and expect the same for everyone else, but this is no time to delude myself and believe that's how dating works (at least not without scaring everyone away). I know it's kinda random but this is the one thing I cannot bend, overlook or negotiate at all. If a partner got a tattoo, I would probably end up leaving them as much as I hate to admit it and directly saying it seems to offend everyone, tattooed or not.


I suppose one of the things I need to work on is that I take rejection VERY personally. I was recently shot down rudely by someone I thought was polite and friendly and it will probably take weeks to get over it. I just hate to offend anyone who chooses that "lifestyle" but it isn't for me and I want no part of it and I would be wasting their time. Again, it seems young women (but not middle age/older women) seem to misinterpret everything I say and I have become rather paranoid hence this thread.

If people aren't upset by your anti-tattoo declaration, they'll find something else to be upset about. Don't worry about who you'll upset, worry about what is best for you.

some people cant handle the fact that there will be people different from themselves.

I don't have tattoos, and although I have friends, male and female, who do have tattoos, I personally find them unattractive and wouldn't want to have an intimate relationship with someone who had tattoos. If I happened to meet someone, and everything else about them was wonderful, then I might be able to overcome my aversion. However, you are talking about on-line dating. As others have pointed out, the whole point of on-line dating is being able to specify in advance what you like and don't like in a prospective partner. If it's a deal breaker, then surely it's sensible to mention it.

For what it's worth, I think it has got to the stage that it's more non-conformist not to be tattooed!

QFT!

Just as an update, since I added in that little blurb to my online dating profile, I received several messages from women. One was genuinely curious as to why (and wondered why tattoos of all things) and another didn't directly reference it but it was likely what caused her to contact me. Might not lead anywhere but at least I am getting some attention and messages from reasonably sane and normal women. Go figure that all the women are all identifying as Catholic but that might be a co-incidence. I was definitely worried about coming across as a conservative or Christian or some boring square when I am far from any of those things.

I guess the unexpected upside is that it gives women a talking point and a foot in the door and like in a job search, that is worth its weight in gold! Let's face it, my profile was well written, professional with great pictures and my personally comes across very well but if I were a woman I would have NO IDEA what to write to someone like me, especially if you weren't a hockey geek.

I've found that some girls are turned off by a guy who likes everyone.

I'd say most girls don't want to date someone with no standards. I know I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole.

you're entitled to your 'laundry list' OP, and from the sound of you I can promise that no girl with a tattoo would want to date you either. one of the reasons for why us girls get tattoos is to give a huge middle finger to traditional standards of beauty - which are what you said you go for. definitely a good idea to put it right there on your profile and save everyone some time.


side note - I always find it funny when people say that 'tattoos are permanent' seriously, your flesh will be eaten by maggots like, tomorrow. nothing's permanent, you silly.

This made me laugh. I know it's meant as a simple statement of fact, but I keep reading it as an odd and very specific threat.

I knew people in the army who rued the day they got their tattoos. laser tattoo removal co$ts and hurts like wang.

"Until you die" is permanent in the scope of the individual, though.

I'd just say straight out that tattoos are a dealbreaker.

I'm not sure why people are getting upset at the OP for having a preference.

The only girls I've met (my age) who don't like tattoos are usually super religious.

Everyone's going to do it these days, I don't at all mind a couple of smaller ones here and there. The ones, I've noticed, who have tattooes and piercings all over, usually want someone who's the same.