Relative expertise in dating/relationships - ASK ME ANYTHING

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Yes, I did use the word rape - to strengthen my point that the sex was mutually consented to.

You are projecting your moral code onto him/others if you believe that the OP has a lot to learn, is sadly misguided, or that he is hurting anyone. That and you're making assumptions about his conduct and his partners' thoughts & emotions. I mean, everyone has a lot to learn always as there is so much to learn out there that no one will ever know everything about everything, but the OP doesn't seem to have much to learn about getting first dates or getting laid - he seems to have figured these things out just fine, and if those are the objectives he set out to achieve and he's accomplishing his goals then why would you say he has a lot to learn? I'd be more inclined to agree with the OP and say he's obviously learned a lot already and has some things of value that he can teach to others if they're interested in doing the same things he has. He's misguided according to YOUR moral compass. Get over the fact that not everyone lives by the code YOU do and they don't have to. As for assumptions, you're making many when you say he's hurting women he has casual sex with. For all we know he's the best thing that'll ever happen to their sex lives and they appreciate him for it. Just because people have casual sex doesn't mean anyone's getting hurt. IF someone feels hurt, well then the value they can take away from that is that they're not someone who should be consenting to casual sex because it goes against THEIR code and they'll have learned not to do it. None of that has anything to do with the OP as their thoughts, feelings, and moral code on the subject have nothing to do with him or his. Period. I'm still not sure what it is you don't comprehend about that.

So what if some of them are trying to fill an emotional need for sex vs. a physical one? It's none of the OP's concern what their personal decision to engage in casual sex is. Sex partners aren't obligated to break out a whiteboard and markers and draft up a decision making matrix with quantified weighted criteria and so on and so forth and analyze one another's reasons for wanting to jump into bed together. If his partner is trying to fill an emotional need for sex and decides to have sex, and then does or does not fulfill that need, so what? It still is what it is - they decided to have sex for whatever their reason was, and tried to get out of it what they wanted to, and then maybe they do or maybe they don't get what they want out of it... but that's part of the unwritten deal, that there's no strings attached, so the other party isn't obligated to care whether your physical or emotional needs of the deed were fulfilled or not nor how you think or feel about it afterwards. All of that is on you, the individual who makes decisions of your own free will for yourself. Period.

The OP bonds briefly.. assumption. Maybe there's a bond, maybe not. Maybe there's just two (or more) naked people enjoying sex. Maybe there's an emotional need being fulfilled, maybe not, again it's none of the OP's concern what their needs or wants are deep down. It's casual no strings attached hookup sex for that very reason. You still don't seem to be grasping this concept very well at all. There may or may not be an emotional bond made, if there is a one-sided one from the partner, again, that's not the OP's problem IF it's mutually consensual NSA sex. Again, you're assuming there's some sort of emotional pain when the OP leaves. Maybe not. Maybe they're happy he's gone so they can take a shower and get a good night's sleep with fond memories of a hot and sensual encounter. Same thing with feeling abandoned and used - one can't be abandoned nor used when there was no expectation or agreement to stay together and the consent is mutual and they got what they were after out of the fling. On the flip side of your claim, PUA cause a lot of girls pleasure.

Golfish, I am disgusted and saddened by your implication that "if other people feel hurt after the sex, that's their problem, not mine."

If you are the kind of person who sees nothing wrong with people inflicting emotional pain on others, and would not be moved to guilt or compassion to see a girl crying in confusion or self-hatred after realising that what she had thought was emotional bonding had just been sex to the PUA, then I am afraid I do not like you very much, and we'll just have to agree to disagree.

I'm disgusted and saddened by your not comprehending the concept of people mutually consenting to sex with no strings attached. The entire concept is centred around not being obligated to concern yourself with what the other is thinking or feeling afterwards, and both parties know this going into it. As agreed, there shouldn't be any emotional attachment for either to concern themselves with never mind that the other party should be concerned with about you. So, if people agree to have sex and not get emotional about it, and then they do, that truly is their issue to deal with, not their partners. That's why it tends to be like minded people who hookup like that, and people like yourself who abstain from it for whatever your personal reasons are. Stop assuming others are like you and that they get all emotionally shattered after they get laid. Some people just smile & go to sleep.

I never said that I didn't see anything wrong with inflicting emotional pain on others. But what we've been talking about is someone giving someone else pleasure, not pain. You seem to equate it with pain, which is ridiculous. And now you're being completely ridiculous... talking about people crying in confusion - ummmm, someone who wants and agrees to sex isn't going to cry about it afterwards, unless perhaps they're tears of joy. People have sex for pleasure, which is enjoyable, they don't do it and then cry themselves to sleep unless they have some other serious mental problems of some sort.. which wouldn't be the OP's problem, either.

I see valid criticism to the OP's expertise. If you proclaim yourself emperor, best be fully dressed.

Nice one bro I appreciate it.

It seems there are a lot of people who do support this idea of developing one's love life after all, whether it be a committed relationship or casual fun. That is quite inspiring, and what I had hoped to receive when I made this thread.

And it's really all I'd care to listen to. People could jump at the controversy and criticise what I believe all day but it wouldn't change anything. I'm here to offer you my advice should you ask for it. That's all.

thumbhole is correct - girls that age sleep with guys for many reasons, but it is extremely rare that it is strictly for mutual sexual pleasure and nothing else. Women are biologically (and societally) programmed to emotionally attach to anyone they have sex with. Period. It is very naive and thoughtless to assume that just because a guy managed to talk a girl into some kind of sexual activity (including kissing), that there were absolutely no strings attached, unless the guy clearly stated up front "hey babe, this is just sex - no strings, and don't expect to hear from me afterward." Because I can tell you for a fact that >90% of all the females in the world who will participate in that kind of activity are hoping that whatever they do with you will turn into something more.

Again, if it has not been clearly stated, this can be construed as using women. Unless you can produce all of those girls' signed consent forms, it can be assumed that some of them were hurt by what you did.

Further, the so-called expertise being claimed is, in fact, sexual, not as relates to love and dating. So this thread should indeed have been in the sex forum (is there actually a sex forum on here?), and/or at the least be re-titled as "relative expertise in picking up naive girls to use and discard."

lol, I sure hope a real Ninja is more sneaky than this guy.

Going again with what Goldfish oringially assumed that you are 21/22 years old. What age bracket of women do you usually attact? You likely do attract all sorts of women, but think about the average age bracket (the majority of women you are attracting)

And if you look through my history I actually posted a forum topic about the five flirting styles (titled: "What's your flirting style?") and came to an even better understanding of picking up and attempting to build relationships. You will also notice that those ideas weren't well received by the forum posters here either. I won't push the book "Five Flirting Styles" on you, but I would say that it is informative and healthy reading material as well. I only bring this up because it did help me understand flirting and picking up a bit better.

I also noticed that some PUA's actually used the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Having read that book, I actually understood why. There came a greater understanding as to what "Go with the Flow" meant as well. I also understood that being present and in the moment is what makes a man even more attractive to women. I wouldn't say the ideas in the book would do any harm at all, but it can be if used for the wrong reasons.

I'm in my late 20's now myself and have had to learn a lot in the last couple years myself. I found picking up usually works a lot better in bar/nightclub or party settings where the point is to be social with friends and possibly meet new friends. In those settings, I actually got to know some women a little bit as well and found that there were indeed some younger, immature and/or insecure, and/or selfish women (also a lot of other types of women as well). I didn't say insecure alone when I made my response or say that they all were insecure. I hope you avoid the selfish person or don't fall for their traps and I hope you do well in your life. and if you can be a good friend or mentor for some people, do so. You may reap a great reward in doing so down the road.

Indeed. That's what I'm trying to explain to goldfish. He keeps going on and on about morals, and I am just trying to explain to him that it's not a moral issue. It's a biological one. He just keeps ranting on about "projecting moral codes" and doesn't seem to be understanding that the issue is about the difference between the two sexes.

You don't seem to understand that it's none of your business how others lead their sex lives, whether the OP or women who consent to casual sex. They're not you and don't have to abide by whatever self imposed rules you've set for yourself.

It's absurd for you to assume they're hurt when they may in fact feel very satisfied with their decisions. You're not them. They're not you. Get this through your head.

I still assert that the emperor knew he was naked and was just a pervert.

Please read my posts and try to quote anywhere where I said anything about "my self-imposed rules." This is not about anyone's rules. It is about me (and several others on this thread) pointing out the OP's apparent ignorance of the emotional difference between how the two genders experience sex, and their different motives for consenting to casual sexual encounters.

You appear to perhaps have a chip on your shoulder about certain people in your life or in your past trying to impose their own moral standards on you, and you're taking it out on me. Please read my posts carefully and you will notice that you are mistaken. I have not once on this thread said that I am disappointed in the OP's behaviour on the grounds that it fails to meet "my own personal moral standards or rules." You're making that up, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop making false allegations against me.



I did not assume "they" were all hurt. If you check my posts you will see I emphasised that not all women necessarily bond emotionally during casual sex and feel emotionally terrible afterwards. I merely stated that the majority of them do.

Equally well, the majority of men are capable of having sex without necessarily involving their emotions, but that doesn't mean that all of them are. People are all individuals, but generally speaking men and women experience sex in the way their overall gender group does.

That's just the way we are. We're female. You are male. Asserting that the two genders are different sexually speaking has nothing to do with my (or anyone else's) moral standards. It is merely to state an analytical observation about gender differences that humans have noticed over millennia.

You're not a woman. You don't even sleep with women. Therefore, you do not understand how women experience sex. All I am trying to do is explain it to you.

I indeed said that perhaps some of the girls he had kissed felt terrible afterwards, but I also said that perhaps some of them were genuinely like robotic sluts who experienced complete emotional detachment during kissing perfect strangers. I don't know why you're ignoring the latter and insisting on quoting the former. You seem obsessed with only noticing the parts of my posts you want to notice, and inventing the rest.

My main point was to emphasise that men who have one-night stands with women have no way of knowing how the women feel afterwards, because they don't stick around long enough to find out. Maybe the women feel good. Maybe they feel bad. The OP will never know, and he doesn't seem to care that some (or probably most) of the women he's sleeping with are probably emotionally damaged. That's what I find really sad.

Obvious PUA troll is obvious.