Who are the Self Proclaimed Nice Guys here?

Post Reply New Topic

My definition of a Nice Guy is a guy with too much feminine energy who finds a girl to extract masculine energy from so he can feel more adequate. In other words, a guy who is too afraid to socialize with women, yet judges his self-worth by how women receive him. Friendship does not equal romance. That's why friend-zoning happens. Its like quarantine on McAfee Anti-Virus.

Many Nice Guys become bitter and either become Mr. I Hate Nice Guys, or they turn into Mr. Women's Rights Lawyer, or generally accuse anyone slightly off kilter of having ulterior motives or otherwise being discriminatory. A great example of this kind is Geekonychus. And Deuterium. And Willard. And Fnord.

I'm going to get a lot of hate mail.

I am confused....

So now we have two lists of WP's Nice Guys™:

-billiscool
-ShamlessGit
-JanuaryMan
-Mindslave

and the other list:
-Geekonychus
-Willard
-Deuterium
-Fnord

??


Or are they one list?

Ladies, tell us!!

That quote being attributed to me is not mine, fellas. It's jono's.

In general, though, aside from the manipulation of women, nice guys also tend to have a great deal of antipathy toward women that they essentially take no personal responsibility for their behavior and its effect, and tend to generalize about women in ways which justify treating them poorly (including alleging a gender-wide conspiracy). However, they are sort of generally polite in person and/or support 'nice' causes, so they tend to believe that no matter what they say or do, they're really nice people (who just have to be mean to all those b*****s/a**holes out there so they can get theirs first.)

It's not uncommon, of course, for people to want to believe they're nice when they aren't. The idea, though, is that there's a toxic mix of blaming others, generalization, stereotyping, manipulative behavior and/or self-pity which combine to make the person in question (because you can generalize across gender some, here, if not directly) unpleasant to talk to or be around. This contributes to the dating problems they blame an entire gender, and the cycle continues. It may not be intentionally dishonest, but being a nice person is functionally dishonest.

Sometimes, of course, our problems dating are a matter of our respective autism, but the pattern I'm talking about happens across autistic and NT populations, and one which effectively prevents the individual from being able to form relationships.

As far as being nice, I have no such illusions about myself--I've spent too much time getting to know myself (and I am only nice by dint of effort and a general attempt at ethics.)

I'm on a list! Frankly I have no idea what the list is for, but I'm just going to be excited for the time being.

Hey, should I be on the list?

I always thought I am a Self proclaimed Jerk, but who knows.

@The_Face_of_Boo: I nominate you to be on the unspecified list I'm on.

I hope I'm on the list for being a

^ Noble, yes. High-paying?! High-paying in what and for what?

The word "lawyer" inspires me to imagine someone who makes more money in a year than I probably ever will in 10 consecutive years.

We need the opinion of OliveOilMom on that, she's expert in Nice Guys matters.