the jerk double standard

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The only odd thing is that this topic turns up so much on an autistics forum. I mean, autistics can be many things, but to the outside world they certainly don't really come under the category Nice any time soon. I mean given how we are typically associated with a certain kind of self-centreredness if not selfishness because for the most part we have limited capacity to actually genuinely care about most people, unless we've known them for years, beyond an obsession.

Personally, I care about people a lot. But, I often can't detect when they need an empathetic response. And, I can't give that response in a way they expect. So, I somewhat consider myself empathetically isolated, as opposed to lacking empathy.

it's quite simple: "nice guy" jerks or, if you prefer, Nice Guy? jerks, are passive-aggressive douchebags who can't even admit to themselves that they are douchebags, let alone to the people (unsuspecting women) they are seeking to emotionally manipulate into copulating with them. "alpha" jerks at least are upfront about being douchebags and about trying to get people to copulate with them, and so are more easily identified and avoided (for those of us who do wish to avoid jerks of all kinds), and more easily identified and sought by those who are seeking jerks of all kinds (because those people--of all genders and orientations--do exist, too, and they're not all that rare in my experience).

woah, speak for yourself. this does not apply to all of us. i can come to care deeply about someone after spending relatively little time with them if i can easily share ideas with them and i feel a personal resonance with who they are and how they express themselves. i have encountered several people like this throughout my lifetime, people that after speaking with them for only an hour or so you already feel as if you have known them for years and they seem somehow comfortable and familiar, even though they are new to you. i wouldn't necessarily call it a common occurrence--but i don't think that it is an aspie/ASD thing, i think it is a pretty universally human thing for those kinds of connections to be relatively rare.

No their not,Alpha,players,pua guys also act nice to get women
in Bed.You liberals,feminist,white knight just like to pick
on ''low totem''men. Nice guysTM should include all
men who pretends to be nice to get women in bed
including player and Alpha male.

This thread sounds strangely familiar....

it is impossible to have a reasonable discussion with you. YOU don't even understand what you're talking about, so you can't possibly expect us to make any sense of it. i give up.

So I am right,it's all about looks and social status
when comes to men.
nice guys tm-ugly,weak men.
popular jerks-attractive,Strong men.

Aspies/auties, especially the males have to suffer a lot because they're a group most likely to have no power, hence our lament, the female aspies/auties are somewhat lucky because they can always use sex to attract potential suitors, but the males are screwed -- having no power means you're out of the love game, which means a very lonely life that comes to question our own existence -- "if people will love me only because of my power, then what worth is the love in the first place?".

Morally an aspie can either be a nice guy or a jerk, but concerning women, oftentimes the only thing the male aspie can sell to attract people, short of his obsession, is being nice, but being nice doesn't win anything.

If we lived in a world where goodness was better than strength -- the male aspie would be loved there, if honesty and kindness was seen as above or better than raw power -- he would be loved there, but we just don't live in that world, and now here's the truth:

People can't be loved because they're pleasant individuals, for love to exist there needs to be some measure of power.

But I'd caution anyone whose willing to change the goodness of their heart because the world hates him/her, there are better things than life, and worse things than death, the capitulation of a humans character is one of them.

See if you can derive an operational strategy from my posts above. Perhaps, you can develop into an arrogant inconsiderate self-centered jerk and get the chicks. I tried it once with success. It sounds crazy, but why not leverage your autism. We are already perceived as arrogant, inconsiderate, and self-centered. Adding the jerk part isn't that tough. You can do it! And really, adding the jerk part completes the picture for a successful neurotypical persona. That is, by learning to be a jerk, you might fit in with NTs. They will think you are just another normal jerk.

actual that's How I got my GF(''best lady friend'')back for the
second time.By being a complete douch(jerk)I would just
mock her,and she came back to me.

And she's back with me for the 3rd time.Whenever we ''separate''
I act like ''alpha douche''and whatever reason,she gets
turn on and goes back with me.

You're in the groove. Just keep up the jerkish behavior and you'll be fine. Here's something I've used on a lot of girlfriends that might work well on yours - when she is in bed and almost asleep, stick your tongue in her navel and wiggle it around like a worm. She'll get mad as hell and love you for it.

*groan*

Neither of you sound very bright though, I wouldn't use yourself and any girls who you date as a representative of the majority.

A very nice story, extremely heart wrenching. Now please explain how so many aspie guys are married/dating/happy in general.

I am single because I'm an introvert, reserved, don't meet up with people a lot, and half the time annoying and a pain. That's why I'm single, not because of aspergers.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 18 May 2014, 1:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think that autistics actually feel more sympathy for others a lot of time than most people do. For example, a common autistic-trait is to feel intense guilt over bad/negative occurrences that aren't even the autistic person's fault at all. That sounds like the exact opposite of a sociopath and most NTs as well.