Would it be creepy to approach a hot stranger in the street?

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He sounds like a great guy, Vicky, and you're very lucky to have each other.

Biut, the way you met is similar to the way many people meet. You were at a meeting together, there were other people about and this was during a break when you'd pretty much expect people to chat and make conversation. That situation is very different from a random stranger approaching someone totally unexpectedly and right away making a very personal comment about their appearance.

Wow, such a bunch of crap has happened on this thread while I was busy having a life for a few hours!

Firstly, to Boo:

The REASON I mentioned that I dress conservatively and not in such a way that is normally considered to "attract" men was to illustrate MY SURPRISE at a man approaching me. My mention of that has NOTHING to do with accusing women who do dress attractively of "asking for it."
"Asking for it" are your words, not mine. I never even said anything of the sort AND YOU KNOW IT, sh!t-stirrer.

I pointed out my mode of dress because it's so freaking dowdy that it's weird a man even noticed me, let alone did something about it.

There are women who do dress in ways that are known to draw attention from men, and as you very well know, AND I KNOW TOO, none of them are asking for rape -- you're the fool who is putting words in my mouth and trying to start an argument. I don't waste my time with idiots like you. It's very clear that none of your troublemaking assumptions are even what I said, and that concluded the matter. No reply from you will be further replied to by me, as it's very clear you're a waste of time.

To golfish:
First of all, as others have said, you know NOTHING about being a woman. And nice try on assuming a bunch of stuff also, about a person or people here that you don't even know the first thing about, either on here or in real life.

I have no "fear" of "interaction with strangers," nor am I a "man hater," thank you for asking.

I'm also not completely socially inept, autistic or not. I've been married, hon. I've had many other relationships too. I'm one of the members here who have in fact managed to lead a very "normal" life socially -- boyfriends, marriage, jobs, and at various times many friends. Been a bit of a i[]strain [/i] but obviously the bottom line is that meeting people has not been a problem for me.

However, I met all these people in SOCIAL SETTINGS. Where there was more going on than just a total stranger crossing the street to accost me with superficial remarks about my outward physical appearance with no other context going on.

That is NOT the same as a genuine and sincere compliment on how nice I look. I've had those from a stranger on a street too, but those moments have to be handled with total grace by the strange man doing the complimenting, and usually with no agenda. When they are, FINE. But mostly they're not.

Now, I won't be taking part in a back-and-forth with you either, because clearly, like Boo, you're coming from a place that doesn't even want to understand the subtleties of someone's explanation for a different reality and a different set of experiences.

You're also a man. That disqualifies you from knowing the slightest thing about womens experiences within their skins and their lives. I speak as just one but I'm not alone in my point of view, although others can vary.

To vicki:

Your husband sounds wonderful and I'm truly glad for you.

However, he didn't pick you up as a stranger on the street. You two were at a social setting, and it was totally okay for him to speak to you. Although he was a bit forward with the very fast "are you married" question, that is NOT the same as a total stranger following me along the street going "Are you single? Are you single?".....


Finally, to Eureka13 -- THANK YOU. You get it.

'


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All joking aside, why is the focus in this thread strictly on women? Why not let men in on it?

Let me put it a different way: Do hot people get creeped out when approached in the street? I automatically don't count since I'm not a hot person. But if I were, it wouldn't creep me out. I'm the kind of PERSON who'd actually prefer another PERSON making the first move. That I'm male and prefer females isn't necessarily relevant here.

Although there was that one weird moment a gay man didn't seriously believe I don't do guys, like I'm in denial or something. He happened to meet my gf without realizing she was with me and started going on about that cute clarinet player's sexy legs. She was, like, "that's my bf," and he was like "shut the freak up!" I think at that point he finally accepted I wasn't in denial or anything.

I was more amused than creeped out, but maybe it was a LITTLE creepy and awkward. Otherwise, I don't find it all that creepy.

I think maybe it CAN be creepy sometimes if the hot person in question is not the kind of person you might enjoy getting to know.

Listen, I'm not encouraging guys to run up to strange women and start complimenting them wildly, but I think you all are in denial that some women really like it. There are women that are really confident and believe THEY SHOULD be complimented, as long as it's done in a non-creepy way. I know many women. Men can make jokes when they compliment, it can be easy and fun.

Many people have started Long Happy relationships by the man complimenting the woman. My grandparents met when he saw her at his friends house Scrubbing the FLOOR! On her Hand and KNees! They were married for 75 years because he told her she was pretty at that moment.

Life is not always so super dangerous and serious. Let some people have fun, even if that kind of fun isn't for us. (Probably if I wasn't convinced that I'm not pretty, or wanted to doll myself up, I wouldn't mind if some guy told me that I was).

I can't even believe this has turned into WWIII. Many future long happy relationships will start the same way whether you approve of it or not.

I believe he was reported because he was resorting to name-calling.

wozeree, your grandfather met your grandmother at a friend's house. No one here is arguing about chatting someone up under those circumstances! Actually, no one is arguing against chatting up anyone at any time. Further, no one is arguing against paying compliments to random strangers. What we are arguing against is a man (specifically) trying to pick up an unknown-to-him lone woman (specifically) on the street or in a shop by approaching her and commenting on her appearance.

You want to try to pick up a woman on the street or in a shop (i.e., anywhere besides a recognized social occasion, such as a party, a club meeting, through mutual friends, at a bar, even if she's somewhere with one or more other women, etc.)? Approach her and ask for directions. Approach her and ask where she got her cool t-shirt. Approach her and ask about the book she's reading. Approach her with ANYTHING but a remark on her looks!

There are a couple of people here who are insisting that we are arguing that no one should ever pay anyone a compliment, ever, in any setting, or for any reason. That is totally not the case.

nothing wrong with talking to pretty girls you see on the street
or at coffee shop,the gym,work,stores or any where.
I do all the time(or some times)and most time
I get a nice reaction. expect when I whistle at pretty girls.

Mate, whistling at girls is so cringey. It's also a good way to get yourself a slap or, if the girl's boyfriend is around, a hospital visit, so not really a wise move.
There's nothing wrong with talking to random girls, but complimenting their appearance the first time you meet them -- that's usually gonna be a little creepy to them. People really need to stop putting so much on each other's looks, too. I see so many men saying "I just want a pretty girl", or women gushing over men who are attractive but are total dickheads but going for looks alone is a great way to get hurt. When you truly love someone, when you meet someone whose personality is a perfect fit for you romantically, they will look amazing to you all the time. At least that's what it's been like for me, and friends of mine have said the same thing. The problem is a lot of very attractive people know full well how hot they are and this can turn them into arrogant a***holes. Every member of every boy band that's ever existed, for example

I used to work with a guy that would literally holler at girls in his vicinity, nothing rude, just "hey girl, come over an talk to me" kind of stuff. I always used to cringe when he'd do it, as it seemed so ridiculous, but about 10% of the time it would actually work, a girl would come over to talk to him, and he'd get a phone number or something. Even most of the girls that didn't come over would smile and wave or something, I can't say that I ever really saw an indication that the attention was unwelcome. Would I approach women in that way? Hell no, but it seemed to work for him, so I can't entirely discount the method.