more women then men have jobs?

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I suppose we have that option, yes.. but only some people are "wired" to relocate. For the rest of us, this is home. Also, I happen to live in a beautiful place.. there are many reasons people are drawn to this place and don't want to leave despite being working class poor because of the cost of living. Vancouver has that effect on people regardless of the fact that the median household income in BC was $71K (I suspect it's lower in the city, as this includes higher incomes earned from gas/mining in small Northern towns) in 2012 & the average detached house price in Vancouver is now over $1M.

Um, yeah - no. Babysitters do not make that kind of scratch here lol. That's more than the typical adult worker earns by the hour. The Province wide average wage in 2012 (iirc) was $21.72, and again, that's high due to Northern incomes & high earners skewing it. Babysitters getting a 4h $22/hr retainer!.. wow! Ya, no, not here - they don't even make minimum wage. ($10.50/hr)

It's not so much about being "wired" to relocate or to stay put. It's that some people do not have the money to afford to move and to live off of until they manage to find a job in their location. Mmk?

maybe by your's and their definition. again. I am able to support my interests. a reasonable standard would be "just don't mooch off me"

so what do you suppose those millions and millions of men who don't and cant meet that standard do, die? there can't be a good paying job for every person in the us.

if they are so independent, why does it matter what guy does for work or how much he makes. only reason i see is they expect me to pay for and buy them things. otherwise it shouldn't' matter.

are you ok wtih guys wanting to only date thin hot women? cause as I see it both are preferences so if guys prefer hot women and women prefer guys "with their lives together" either both are ok or both are wrong.

Had to reply to this one.

It's not just about being able to support your interests by paying your rent and existing. Women are biologically programmed to desire men who are providers so that they can take time off work to have babies and raise families. Even if they never have kids of their own, they're pretty well programmed to be attracted to alpha male providers first and foremost.

But besides that, it's not just about earning enough money at whatever you do to exist month to month.. it's about earning enough to live & enjoy some of the things in life that money can buy. A Registered Nurse I know told me that after dating a guy once or twice that was on disability (and content to be, and didn't want to treat or deal with his depression etc) she decided she couldn't date someone like him for a few reasons. One, he was very depressed and that brought her down. Two, it wasn't that she wanted a guy that makes six figures plus, but she couldn't date a guy who couldn't afford to match her lifestyle in terms of being able to go out and do things or take a vacation etc. I bet her perspective is a rather common one from women with stable careers & incomes.

They may expect you to provide for them, yes, but as I just pointed out above.. it's that they expect you to be able to at least provide for yourself and be able to afford a similar lifestyle to what they are accustomed to.

You're right, there isn't going to be a high paying job for everyone. But there are plenty of Americans earning better than minimum wage at their jobs or small businesses and leading a pretty good first world lifestyle.

Both are ok. If a guy is only attracted to thin women, why on earth should he be expected to consider dating one that doesn't fit his criteria for attraction?

And there are also plenty of Americans who AREN'T earning enough money to support themselves without outside financial assistance...And some simply aren't able to. That's reality. I said it before that the reason for wanting a man who can support himself financially in a way that is socially acceptable is that they want the option of taking time off work to bear and raise children.

But increasingly, with unemployment figures lower for women than men in the US compounded with the fact that women are earning more and more money in various fields, it is more common now for the woman to support the man. At least for the time being.

A job that pays living expenses is also symbolic here in America: That you have successfully adapted to mainstream society and are able to get what you need and want. That is really why gainful employment and having a "real job" is so highly valued.

Keep in mind that evolutionary psychology CANNOT be invoked to explain why women seek wealth because money as a thing and as a concept did not exist when humans were evolving. It is very much a byproduct of civilization.

There are also very few women on dating websites, as compared to men. So this is not a good representation of the real world. Maybe the ones that happened to be on there are simply employed, maybe they were too busy with a career to find someone earlier, whereas unemployed ones may not bother going on there for whatever reason. I wouldn't take things you see on a dating website too seriously.

You're right - a woman who wants to date only guys "with their lives together" has a personal preference and shouldn't, cannot, be forced to date guys who aren't.

If your standard is "don't mooch off me", that's fine... but you may wanna lay off the complaining about women who won't date you because you do not "have your life together" thing.

Given that 85-90% of American support themselves without government assistance, I'd argue that the vast majority of adults do, in fact, earn a "decent living" and (more likely than not) expect a partner to do the same. So you're absolutely entitled to your (low, low) "no mooching" standard for partners... but the likely consequence of it is a LOT of folks who won't even consider dating you because, umm, who wants to date a barely or not ever employed person with no desire to be any different?

I've pretty much always made good money - and never needed (or frankly expected) guys to buy me stuff. And I've dated a guy or two who made less than me, and it was no biggie.

The hostility towards women with good jobs? Men with good jobs? An expectation that American grownups who can't or won't support themselves? Such a turnoff.

Not.True.

It really depends on the dating site as many of the big dating sites have a gender discrepancy that is less than 5%. For instance, 53% of okcupid users are male(the remaining 47% are female). Location also plays a role in terms of the meat market. There are some big cities in the US that have a huge surplus of single women, like NYC, NOLA, Atlanta, Baltimore, Miami, and for some reason most of the big cities on the East Coast.

why is it always the guy who has to adapt to the women's life style, relationships are suppose to be a partnership. not my way or the high way.

i don't want vacations. I enjoy camping or going to the coast for the week. so I should have to make enough to go on a vacation I won't enjoy just to adpt to her lifestyle. ?

things like, electronics? chech, camping/coast onece a year If i desire, check, car, check, home to live in check,
so anoying.

"But the 109,631,000 living in households taking federal welfare benefits as of the end of 2012, according to the Census Bureau, equaled 35.4 percent of all 309,467,000 people living in the United States at that time."

and thats fedal not including those who may get state based welfare but not federal.

also you make a lot of judgments not based on real info about me, like another person who was banned from here. you actually sound similar in your posts to them. anyways

I am working my ass to get a job that pays more, though even that job wont' be good enough. so f**k off.
I work at this place and they bring me back every term cause I do good work. the college enrollment is down and they can't afford to pay many people to work there,they instead use students on work study to have the gov pay their wages. I doubt if that didn't happen that they'd have people working there. people only buy books once a term.

I don't care if they have high paying jobs, its teh materialistic mindset I hate. that to be loved one has to have a high paying job, what if tomorrow the econ collapsed like in the 20s leaving most people without work living in camps? would no one date or have families anymore? most people are just a few months away from being on the street. go find a random middle class person, fire him and see how long theri savings last? most have mortgages on their houses, car payments to make, they live month to month even if they make 30 an hour. cause they expand to the breaking point or just above it. just a dominos waiting to fall. I don't live beyond my means. i don't' buy stuff I can't afford. I don't want to live like that.

Hey Sly, you're all right.

You're not even a bad-looking guy.

All you need to do, in my opinion, is forget about all those figures, and just try to better yourself. Not for the girls out there--but for yourself. You're not a lost cause.

I have to better myself, too. I have a schmucky job, and I'm gaining weight, and I'm short.

It's cool that you just like camping. I'm like that, too. All those hotels are a waste of money, in my opinion. Yes....there are girls who think the same way.

Yep... I know it's winter and you can't invite somebody for a barbecue--but when spring comes, you could! Wear that chef's hat and apron, and you'll charm the pants off your lady guest.

Best advice in this thread .

Well, that's terrific! You're happy with your life exactly the way it is, you don't have to worry about the potential "falling domino" of a mortgage or car payment since you don't have either and you don't have to worry about women taking advantage of you for your money. Make sure you never, ever have 6-12 months living expenses set aside in an emergency fund (cuz that's crazee-talk!!).

Stay exactly the same. Don't change. You are absolutely perfect exactly as you are. It's totally the fault of mean, materialistic women who have good jobs and irrational expectations of men -- those mean, mean women will undoubtably change their minds and see you as the perfect, prince-like dude they've been waiting their whole lives for. Really. They'll be lining up around the block in hopes of snagging you!

Life is too short to wait for Spring! I fired up the grill on Christmas and had steak instead of ham.

But, I agree with the self improvement part--I figured how to make fried scallops tonight--put the bay scallops in a colander to get rid of the excess water that was keeping the temperature down so they wouldn't brown properly.

Well princess, not everyone has to meet your standards and pressuring people to do so ain't gonna change a thing. It's nice that you think you're set for life and you can handle whatever comes your way. 6-12 months of emergency fund is nice while it lasts...............But when it's gone and you're still jobless it's GONE. That's the harsh reality of a free market economy: Anything that can be acquired can be lost. Bourgeoisie like you just don't understand how the world works and you think it can't happen to you until it does.

You're totally out of touch with reality because your privileged life allows you to be. And no I am NOT asking your dumb ass to be sympathetic to the jobless. I'm telling you to get a clue.

Just the fact's ma'am!

Yup, it's totally my fault the economy sucks and that I happened to pick a career that allows for financial stability. What you see as "privilege", I see as hard work + financial discipline. There's no magic to saving 6+ mos living expenses -- it's autodepositing 15% of your net paycheck and eating a ton of ramen noodles in order to do so.