Grrr...I must be so boring.
is that true? I assumed I was terrible because I don't go rock climbing or some other thing every weekend?
Sweetleaf
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is that true? I assumed I was terrible because I don't go rock climbing or some other thing every weekend?
I don't do much of that stuff either....not because I'd be entirely opposed but just not something I'd go out of my way to do per say, if someone wanted me to join them rock climbing or something like that I'd be down but probably would not do that if left to my own devices. Sometimes I wonder if guys or just people in general get the impression I wouldn't be open to branch out of the intrests I mention in my profile on okcupid....or immeditly mention(if I meet them first in person) but thing is I am willing to try new things and do activities out of my normal range of activities.
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We won't go back.
Well, you can first search online on twitter to see if there is a guy you wish for based on narrowed interest. In that case, it would be hippies. Talk to the guy you like online for a while then afterwards, plan to meet him for the first time (NOT AT HOME) in a public place like the mall. Take a friend you have already meet in person with you to help you meet your buddy. Don't ever let yourself down in being the most boring person. See yourdlef as already an interesting person. Just beleive in yourself firmly and your dreams shall come true.
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RAADS-14 score is 23.
is that true? I assumed I was terrible because I don't go rock climbing or some other thing every weekend?
I don't do much of that stuff either....not because I'd be entirely opposed but just not something I'd go out of my way to do per say, if someone wanted me to join them rock climbing or something like that I'd be down but probably would not do that if left to my own devices. Sometimes I wonder if guys or just people in general get the impression I wouldn't be open to branch out of the intrests I mention in my profile on okcupid....or immeditly mention(if I meet them first in person) but thing is I am willing to try new things and do activities out of my normal range of activities.
same with limit. and rock climbing is a no no due to my fear of heights though maybe this has more to do with anxiety.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Sweetleaf
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Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,552
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I doubt I'd have a friend willing to come with me any time I want to meet someone don't really have a lot of those there are two I can think of and one lives far and we don't talk too often anymore aside from that i have acquaintances. Also though isn't it possible that could make it akward, if its like meeting up for an inital date kinda thing...or do guys not care if a chick insists they have a friend with them initially and all their friends are male? Meeting in public initially is always a good idea, though admittedly I do not always do that I always do bring my phone though.
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We won't go back.
I doubt I'd have a friend willing to come with me any time I want to meet someone don't really have a lot of those there are two I can think of and one lives far and we don't talk too often anymore aside from that i have acquaintances. Also though isn't it possible that could make it akward, if its like meeting up for an inital date kinda thing...or do guys not care if a chick insists they have a friend with them initially and all their friends are male? Meeting in public initially is always a good idea, though admittedly I do not always do that I always do bring my phone though.
I'd open up more in 1 on 1. if i met a girl who brought a friend I wouldn't open up and likely stay quiet whole time they talk. like the walk i went on with my sister and the girl she thinks would be good for me. the people who already know each other tend to talk and talk and talk. I have no input to stuff they are talking about cause I don't know any of the people or things they did. also i'm super shy so I'd be too afraid to talk.
Boring compared to what? I'd say 90% of people are way more boring than sweatleaf, yet most of them still manage to find mates and produce spawn. My parents are boring. Almost everyone is boring. The problem is most people aren't very intellectual. They want lovey-dovey flirty stuff. For whatever reason aspies usually aren't completely comfortable with that the way NTs are. At least not with other human beings. Animals maybe. Animals are a lot easier to show affection towards. Humans are scary.
goldfish21
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Maybe you're boring, maybe not.. but I'd bet it's more likely AS traits that you're oblivious to screwing with your dating life. I bet others pick up on your quirks and are put off/turned off by them, possibly bored, possibly annoyed, or maybe they just realize you're "out of synch" and don't intuitively naturally mesh with them and their NT ways of communicating.
IMO, chances are it's a lot more to do with that than it is likely that you're boring.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
Hey Sweetleaf, here's a link with the quoted parts below on a thread I responded to about somebody who had difficulty getting past 3 dates with anyone. Despite being the one giving this advice, I still don't find dating natural and it's still difficult to figure out.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=273781&start=15
Here are a few real-life examples that have happened to me:
I was on a 3rd date with a girl I had met online and by that time, I felt comfortable to invite her to the company party. To romantic chemistry happened at the party to my disappointment, but I noticed something I couldn't make sense as to why she would logically do something. On the way back home, she had placed her hand on the drive stick (of an automatic). We didn't get into a relationship, but a few months later, I got into a conversation with her and we had already gone our different ways. She said that night, she was hoping I would have put my hand over her hand on the drive stick (since it's something that belongs to the driver anyway) and that it would had led to us fooling around that night.
Another example. I had a friend who I was interested in, but still had problems reading signals. I invited her over for a night of playing video games. She beat me up so bad at Smash Bros, she kept nudging me playfully every time she beat me. I just thought she was rubbing it in an taunting me. What she actually wanted was physical reciprocity - she actually wanted me to nudge/push her back with just as much force! Well this time, I responded by nudging her back and that escalated a few times, then I just went in for a kiss and it was perfect. I got into a relationship that was one of my most memorable but ended due to having to move away for school.
If you want to initiate something that can escalate, you can also do things like - grab a woman's arm/wrist gently to show her something, and wait and see if she escalates any physical contact with you, and keep the momentum going. It's something I've had to learn (and still learning) but that's the general equation to the reciprocity that's needed in a dating relationship to continue.
I've also found that since I've gone on paid disability and am no longer working, the number of return-dates has dropped dramatically, yet I do well with the insurance/SSDI payout that I get. It's made me see the role superficiality plays in determining continuing of dating, even though I held no problems going out with anyone I met that was on SSI. NTs somehow evaluate social status as a big part of their dating critique too. I just want somebody to accept me who I am, and not have to only select from 'good' photos of myself, etc or how my social standing affects their own social standing (which I find to be ridiculous concept in the first place).
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Former game designer, therapist, professor
I'm a cross between a wiseman, a hermit, and a shapeshifter