If you are an guy and have flaws - mission impossible?

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I completely understand the OP, I sometimes feel too flawed to be dateable.

What if you have a little social life outside work, and don't have much exposure to new people outside the internet?



OP, I think you have is called Toxic Shame; google it.

Well, someone has to be too flawed to be dateable—there’d be no sexual selection otherwise. I definitely feel that way. In fact, any potential effort to find a woman interested in me strikes me as a shameful attempt to cheat nature.

That’s hard to believe. Would you date a morbidly obese woman, with foul body odor and breath, missing a few teeth and an eye, forty years your senior, cirrhotic, arthritic and unable to walk on her own, if she asked you out?



I don’t know whether that’s the case, but, if it is so, I’m surprised the number is so low

I think the males of other species have it much tougher. In fact, I often wonder if our species is being damaged by not removing many more individuals from the gene pool, especially males. Starvation, war and disease used to take care of that, but not so much anymore, at least in the developed world.

I also find strange that, while sexual selection is usually practised by females, in our species, males seem to have an abnormal power to perform it, too, even if it’s restricted to the top-quality ones. That seems to be the reason women’s skin became almost hairless, except in their heads, and even men lost most of the body hair their ancestors used to sport due to it being partly determined by the same genes, and why women have permanently bulging breasts, while the mammaries of all other female mammals are hardly noticeable when they’re not lactating.



I still wonder why exactly that happens in those sites. Clearly, the explanation must involve an essential difference between the sexes, or you’d see those rôles reversed about half of the time. Not that I’m advocating for any kind of action against the status quo, as both men and women have every right to set their standards as high or as low as they like.

You might be lonely but you aren't alone. I feel exactly the same. I think the best you can do is realize that many of your flaws aren't your fault, work on things that you can change and be a person YOU like. That way even if you do stay alone you would be happy. Maybe not completely happy with your situation and all, but happiest you can be.

Here is 2 new pictures of me.

[MOD EDIT: pictures deleted at OP's request]

Be honest now, I must be one of the most ugly guy on earth?

You're way better looking than me.

I used to feel that way. That's why I actively avoided a relationship. Now, since I've treated my AS symptoms, I feel pretty good - like the kind of guy I'd like to date - and thus am ever more open to the idea of meeting a significant other whenever it happens.

Health is wealth. Deal with your symptoms, feel better all around, have social success & more. Pretty simple process.

is this irony?

if you are actually serious then you must be the most ugly person on earth, becuse thats how ugly I am. Sorry if I sound harsh, not my meaning.

show a picture of you to mee in personal message if you want....I will give you a honest opinion....becuse maybe you are just imagine yourself that you are ugly...

You are okay-looking. Not gorgeous, not horrid, squarely in the middle 80% of the population, looks-wise, ie your physical appearance alone isn't what repels women. Though you may wish to rethink the selfies-in-the-bathroom thing.

Your self-loathing comes across on the page. Loud. Clear. You hate yourself.... and, well, that's the place you should be starting.

You think you're horrible. Why on earth would any girl think otherwise until you do?

(Looks aren't everything. Really. For actual proof of this, go look at the weddings/engagements page of your local paper. Are all the men super-model gorgeous? Super-fit? Do they all have C-suite jobs? Nope. Do this on a weekly basis to assure yourself that all sorts of non-drop-dead-gorgeous, non-wealthy men regularly do get married!!).

So if I hate myself, girls will to? Thats strange. What kind of strange logic is this?

True, not everyone with a partner is good looking, but atleast they look decent and have good personality. I have nothing positive with me. Im very ugly and very boring/stupid.

You are not ugly at all, what made you think so?

By those photos I'd give you 4 of 5.

uh no, but those photos aren't particularly impressive-looking either, if that's what you're getting at.

You look like a regular guy.

If you looked like Quasimodo or the Elephant Man, I could see a reason why someone would be repulsed by your looks at first glance. But you don't. You look like a regular man in the street.

I think the Elephant Man was able to get a girl, though. I'm not sure about Quasimodo.

I'm VERY ugly. I would never go around and beliving that I'm good looking or even decent.

Maybe in Russia I would be 1 of 10, but not in western society. Here I'm 0 of 10.

Last edited by white_as_snow on 15 Jun 2015, 11:02 am, edited 2 times in total.

Regular guy? Not in womens eyes. Have a hard time beliving any women in this world would want to date me with the way I look.