Imagine a 30 year old male dating a 19 year old female...

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It's a perfectly legal relationship in all 50 states of this country.

It depends, really, on the maturity level of the guy-----and of the woman.

It's legal, but someone only two years older than me dating a thirty year old?
Honestly, heck no!

It might be legal but that doesn't make me comfortable with it.

It used to happen all the time back in the old days. And nobody raised a big stink about it.

My own father was in his late 40's, and his girlfriend was in her early 20's, when they met. They eventually got married when he was 55, and she 30. Nobody raised a big stink about it.

Personally, when I was 19, I liked older women. I once dated somebody aged 38 when I was 19. I'm not saying this because I am a 58-year-old man who likes very young women.

I don't see the "perverseness" in that sort of relationship at all. Unless the 19-year-old is especially child-like.

I just don't see that much wrong in that. My wife happens to be 12 years older than I am.

It may make a lot of sense if both partners really want to have kids. Most guys aren't really ready to have kids in their early 20s, while some women are. Guys really need a few years in the work force to become financially stable.

If the male and female are both Legal-Adults then it is a Non-Issue.

It's totally fine.

You're looking at it in a very blind way.

- If the 19 year old girl dates a 30 year old man who loves her, then your scenario will not exist and is irrelevant.

The 19 year old girl could just as easily date a 19 year old guy who is an abusive jerk (but he's 19 so it's okay ).

The main point here is - age doesn't matter - the only thing that matters is whether the man loves the woman.

Last edited by ShyGirl7 on 04 Jan 2019, 12:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

I didn't say what I supposed said...I didn't say that "19 and 30 makes no difference. It's legal."

Sometimes, the age difference can make a difference; other times, it doesn't.

I didn't have to go out with a 19 year old when I was 30----but I don't believe I would have had an "advantage" over a 19 year old at that time. My maturity level when I was 30 was probably in the area of 17 years of age.

As long as it's legal and you're both happy, it's nobody else's business.

I got together with my future wife when she was 24 and I was 42. That was 13 years and 2 kids ago.

Hi kraftkortie, I agree with you.

My response was purely to Logston, which I have edited my earlier post to reflect that.

Cheers!

Last edited by ShyGirl7 on 04 Jan 2019, 5:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have only dated older men. My longest term relationship has been with a man 14 years older than I am. We've been "together" either dating or as friends for twenty two years. My other two boyfriends were 12 years older (when I was in my 20s), and almost 6 years older (He was 23 when I was 17, but my parents didn't mind and in fact my father wanted me to marry him).

I've never dated anyone my own age and come to think of it, my female friends are never my age either. They're generally older but some have been quite a bit younger. The age difference between aspies and their friends is one of the AQ test questions too, so it must be common.

I'd say it doesn't work. too much of a maturity gap. Unless the 30 years old is literally 19 in mental age (which is not super good but more understandable) i think both will have different expectations/ ideas about life and different needs.

I would hate the idea of older men going for younger women cos they want to look good and think they have a better chance. I would say if it happens and it's organic cool, but otherwise the idea sickens me a bit.

My grandfather married my grandmother when she turned 18 and he was 27. They were happily married for 57 years.

I'll elaborate on this~ I'm NOT mature for my age. I do NOT have my sh!t together with life due to having a lot of disabilities. I'm also ret*d compared to most Aspies & even most NTs. I'm not saying I'm very stupid but I'm defiantly am NOT saying I'm smart. My 19 year old ex was living in her own apartment instead of with her parents like I had been all my life & she was in college. She was also aLOT smarter than me. Our relationship was one-sided as a result(it was her side) & she didn't value my input on things nearly as much as she valued her own ideas/wants/needs. I was very desperate to have a girlfriend after being single & looking for 8 years with no luck since me & my 1st girlfriend broke up so I stayed & was willing to put up with things. I hoped that my ideas, opinions, & needs would matter more after we moved in together but she broke up with me before that happened. Her parents had also met me & my parents & her parents had concerns of coarse but seemed to like me anyways.

I would see it as normal. Two legal adults can date each other if they like. Bugger society.

I generally go for +\- 5 years as those are the people who would be relationship material for me.

And vice versa.

For me, age is just an integer value. I'd rather date a younger woman without kids, without debt, without prejudgemental political opinions, without having traveled "everywhere and don't want to go anymore".

I set a limit at 10 years younger than me, above that is a no-go. Basically everything above 18 to 35 is what i'm after. When i shave my beard, comb my hair and make myself look presentable, i get everything from teenagers and up staring at me as of o was a chocolate cupcake that they want to eat.

So far the problem hasn't been age, it have been problems finding someone who is a non-smoker that doesn't want to have kids. I'd rather stay alone.

Age does not even come into play, i've talked to several girls who were around 19-23 on dating sites, i have more common with them than women my age, who don't like gaming and own a TV instead of following specific interests on youtube.

If he's aspie and she's NT, I feel nothing bad.

NTs take until around 25 to develop fully. I don't mean physically - physically some people are developed even before the age of consent and unless someone's so small that she can't deliver a baby to term, or someone's so young looking that it doesn't look as if puberty changed them (this is simply ick factor, if their brain is developed I can't find a moral reason for this to be wrong) they are physically ready. However, I don't care about this. I care about the morals of it. The morals are all about how socially mature someone is. How able to manipulate the other person they are.

Socially, aspies mature slower.

My dad was both aspie and broken by a bad childhood when he met my mum. She was 18 and NT with a fairly average childhood behind her, he was 26 but in need of a childhood.

Even now, I don't think she was too young, I think he was. He's still like my little brother (at 56, he's like a 12 year old), having never developed mentally into a man (outside of intelligence, I mean emotional age).

Most of us don't have the same issues he does but still, I'd say I'm not at full mental adulthood yet and I'm 30. It wouldn't be immoral for me to date a 19 year old for the simple reason that I would lack the capacity to manipulate them.

NT with NT is different, aspie with aspie is different, NT adult of 30 with aspie young adult of 19 and I'd find it disgusting and an obvious case of taking advantage.

It doesn't matter how intellectually smart you are because it's not a game of chess, it's a relationship and aspies aren't smart at those.