How To Get A Boyfriend If You're Autistic

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That's good advice for attracting the interest of a male and getting a date.

I'd like to post a few addendums for those females who only want to date to find a partner, not for the joy of dating (whatever that is-- never enjoyed dating, myself) and those who would like to date people they can actually connect with, not just go out on a lot of random dates.

This does come from experience. I followed this advice pretty much to the letter, and went out on a lot of dates that were so darn dull I didn't even realize they were dates with a lot of guys who were only interested in sex.

1) I don't have too many caveats to that one. Just-- please lose/gain weight in order to be healthy and to please YOURSELF (assuming you have a healthy construct of "a good weight," not one based on magazine images and TV or cultural pressures in the US).

2) Yes, give a s**t how you look. Take a shower (use soap) and wash your hair every other day, unless you get grimy, filthy, or really sweaty (then don't wait for every other day). Shave your pits if you can bring yourself to do it at all. A lot of guys will tolerate leg hair, and quite a few like bush, but I don't know too many that like hairy pits. Plus the odor factor. Wash your face, pits, and privates every morning. Use SOME KIND of deodorant, even if it's just baking soda on a powder puff. Brush your hair, and wear clean street clothes (not sweats) that fit reasonably well.

Don't wear clothes you wouldn't wear if you weren't fishing, or clothes that you feel uncomfortable and "not like yourself" in. Don't wear make-up that you wouldn't wear if you weren't fishing. Don't spend time and trouble on your hair that you wouldn't if you weren't fishing.

If you dress and groom like someone who's not you, you'll end up attracting the interest of guys who are interested in someone who's not you. Even if it cuts you dating pool down, all it's doing is weeding out the ones who are obviously wrong right off the bat. Don't do anything to attract a man that you wouldn't be OK with doing 9 days out of 10 for the rest of your life to please a husband.

3) Don't go too far out of your way to not put him off. Don't show interest just to keep him interested in you if you've talked to him half a dozen times for more than a few minutes each time and been consistently bored stiff. You're leading him on at that point, and wasting his time and yours. Don't monopolize the conversation, but don't think you have to let him do so either. Even if you're not comfortable with talking much, you'll get fed up with that eventually. I made this mistake, not even realizing I was doing it (thinking that I was just being polite and respectful and non-autistic) a lot. Then I got mad at the guys for trying to stick their tongues down my throat and accusing me of leading them on. I didn't mean to, didn't even realize that's what I was doing, totally unintentional and I feel really sh***y about it.

4) I never did get good at that. I thought they were all nice guys until they tried to stick their hands down my pants and got pissed when I said no (and no, they hadn't bought me presents or dinner or movie tickets or paid for all the pool games or anything because I made sure I ALWAYS either paid for everything or at least picked up my own tab or paid for half the pool games; at most they'd bummed me cigarettes, and I always tried to reciprocate that too). Memorize the list of early red flags of an abusive partner. Post it in your class notebook or next to your mirror or somewhere that you look at every day. Memorize it, and trust your instincts (or your paranoia). Give him your phone number-- it's easy to change a phone number or ignore a call. DON'T take him to where you live or let him pick you up there until you've been on a few dates (at least half a dozen). Moving if he turns out to be a control freak or an obsessive stalker is hard. Yes, I once had to move out of my trailer and back to my dad's for a few weeks.

5) Put your best foot forward and be kind, but be honest and be yourself. Make sure you're putting YOUR best foot forward, not one you copied from someone you think is better at being a woman. Don't pretend to be interested in a guy when you know you're not.

This only applies if you're dating to shop for prospective husbands. If you're dating recreationally, I can't advise you on that, because it's something I've never done.

If I do a forever alone thread of myself, this what I would hear from wp girls.

Not all "overweight" or "obese" woman are lazy with their appearance.

I'm plus sized. I also wear makeup, wear women's clothes, wear jewelry every day and the whole nine yards.

The problem with desperate girls (maybe guys too), is that if they get with you when they're desperate they never seem to be able to pull themselves out of that depression for more than a short period of time. I think they trick themselves into thinking that if they were so desperate then you must be desperate too. So then they start questioning how desirable they really are, how much you really like them and then it becomes a continuous, turbulent cycle.

Well, I liked Buyerbeware's advice. There's no point pretending to be someone you are not because you'll end up with someone who wants you to be someone you're not and that won't work out in the long run. No one can be happy keeping up an act forever.

^That's a mean joke!

^ It's not meant to be mean