"You Just Haven't Met The Right Person Yet (But You Will)"

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What is the purpose of trying to find the best possible match when you have very few matches? After all, you normally cannot go back to a previous partner once you have moved on, and with few chances, the risk you will move on from the best choice is rather big.



No, dating is not fun.

recently found out that one of my Aunts, my Moms youngest sister, she told me she was single throughout all of her teens and 20's, didn't get her first real boyfriend, well that's how she said it, until sometime in her 30's, didn't specify the age though, kinda made me feel better but at the same time shocking, I guess it can happen to women too

I dislike that term. People seem to have convinced me that the guy meant for me has aspergers. Every guy that I've dated with aspergers who and come across aren't my type. Only one of them was.

If I date neurotypicals who actually share my interest that shouldn't be a problem. I'm sure there are guys with aspergers that share my interest.

So while there could be someone for everyone I'm not going to count on that philosophy. Regardless if they are neurotypical or not.

You are 19, that implies the only chance for romantic relationships you've had thus far would have been while you were still in middle/high-school. Teens don't really know what they want in relationships yet, sure maybe many of your peers at school had boyfriends and girlfriends but I doubt these relationships lasted or were very committed. In the adult world people aren't going to care if you didn't go out with someone starting in middle and highschool.

Also what benefit do you think having had romantic partners already would have given you? I mean going on various casual dates to try and meet someone compatible is a pretty stressful process...and break ups and rejections can also occur which wouldn't make you feel great. Really all you can do now is if you're interested in someone try asking them out, or go on a dating website and message women there that you might be interested in meeting...but also don't intentionally go out with people you aren't intrested in potentially long term just for 'experience' just see what happens allow for the possibility of it to go long term, or be a short term thing.

i dont think asperger people belong with each other. neurotypicals i dont think so either. there are some flaws rather than diagnosing the spectrums.

^I know several people [though not personally] who have Asperger's and are wondrously happy together.

I beg to differ that lack of romantic experience will have no effect on my young adult dating life. Most people I know have had sex, or at least been in a relationship by now, whilst I've yet to go on my first date. I can't imagine I'm going to be a natural at sex or kissing, and I'd imagine anyone I do end up with has probably already garnered experience in both of those things, or at very least kissing. So already, I'm at somewhat of a disadvantage.

Having had romantic partners by now would show me that I have the capacity to attract romantic partners. I've been on dating sites and been met with very limited success. I've asked girls out and been rejected. The only possible conclusion I can reach is that I'm less desirable than the other males who can get relationships and dates. That conclusion isn't great for one's self-esteem.

My lack of desirability has been illustrated to me in real life - having not even been on a date when most of my peers are far ahead of me, and online - I know guys with hundreds of tinder matches who've been on tinder less time than I have. I have about 9, most of whom don't respond, and those that do respond are already romantically involved with someone else.

On a side note, I would not get into a relationship with someone I wasn't interested in, but by the same token, I would have to get to know prospective partners through dates and whatnot to see if there was any compatibility there first.

Well, it's not like you can change your high school experience level.

If you won't accept that high school dating means little to nothing and you've only been out of high school for one year anyway, accept your past can't be changed.

But do focus on what can be changed. And if you feel undesirable, start there. Good luck.

And online dating sites are so pointless, in my humble opinion.

I only started one MONTH ago, with Tinder and a few others, and already sick of it. i've had more matches than that, about 13 in one month, it also helps I'm bisexual, but it has made very little difference and dudes are just as hard as gals. One blocked me, two unmatched me very quickly afterwards, I messaged 3 females and conversed with them a bit but all 3 stopped replying, a guy took the iniative and messaged me and I replied, but he didn't get back to me, and one girl messaged me first and I replied and again didn't get back to me after a few messages...

The other teen dating sites are glitchy, buggy pieces of rubbish. I messaged one female on another dating site. No reply. The rest? Too empty, lacking Australians and pointless...

Granted, as a teenager, I have to use teenage dating sites, which are quite terrible. I can't wait to be 18 so I can move on from the kiddies and join the adults. Ok-fricken-cupid, am I RIGHT people?! !

I'm at that awkward age where I'm a high school graduate but still too young to date adults...so I spend very little to no time around other teens my age due to not being in school anymore, and on top of that live in a boring town with nothing. I'm just grateful I live an hour and a half out from Brisbane - my family is moving even closer to it soon because I want to be near brisbane; more opportunity.

My missing the experience of dating in high school isn't a problem in itself (although it's something I think I would have liked to experience. Then again the experiences could be crappy like you cited I guess.)

My issue is that I have been given far more reason to believe I'm unattractive than attractive. Maybe high school relationships aren't particularly relevant here. What I probably should be saying is that I've received very little female attention throughout my life, and my attempts at initiating anything romantic end in vain. I have been shown too many times that I am not capable of attracting a girl I'm interested in (and no, I don't think my standards are sky-high).

The only three options I see here are to continue going as I am and probably not witness any different results, lower my already reasonable standards or work on improving myself. I believe the third option will offer the most fruitful results, so that's the one I'm opting to proceed with.

When are you moving to Brisbane anyway? I think it would be interesting to have a wp meeting like you suggested.

F**KING CAPTCHA. I'm posting in parts, it's not actually working anymore...

I've been there, with the options thing.

I'm already well through self-improvement, but I've also lowered my standards.

This is because my standards were extremely high and picky in the past, but I have learnt to accept and tolerate a far wider range of people.

Tbh considering how incompatible i am with teens my age and how hard I find it to relate or get along with any of them, I really just want someone who likes my personality and doesn't just want me for my looks, and a decent person I can like back.

I am completely honest now on dating sites and whatnot about who I am (without listing flaws) and this usually narrows it down so much I'm left with very few or no attention whatsoever..I'd rather get almost no attention than continue to messs around wasting my time.

I do have certain 'types' - nerdy girls, gothic girls, hippy girls, etc. but they are just preferences, not requirements.

And kudos for picking the third option. That IS the answer in my opinion and what changed my life for the better...

And the Brisbane thing, well my family didn't get the place we wanted, which really ticked off all of us as the real estate not only said we were in the top 5 candidates out of like 15, but kept calling us and got our hopes up for nothing. We're still looking though.

Also, it's not Brisbane specifically we want to go to, but some of the more quieter, cozier parts of the Gold Coast, e.g. Bribie. But it would still be closer to Brisbane than where we live now...

It's just, while I'm not sure just how many users of WP actually live in or near Brisbane, I know there is Ecomatt (who I haven't seen in a while), you and soon me, and since it's a major city/capital of Australia it's possible there's at least one or two more WPers here...hopefully.

Even if it's just 3 or 4 of us, it's still something...

Missing the high school dating experience isn't just about missing that experience. It's more about never finding out what young love is like, the effect of which can last a lifetime. I read somewhere that men who don't experience romantic love at a young age (before 17 or so) have difficulties with falling in love and romantic feelings for the rest of their life. (The article didn't talk about women.) Something having to do with the brain getting exposed to flood-level amounts of oxytocin (that comes from romance) before it fully develops, which can affect its chemistry profoundly in a good way.

I thought the human brain didn't stop developing until about age 25. So couldn't it still get the full effect of that oxytocin before then?

As far as I'm aware, some parts of the brain finish development earlier than others, but every part has been developed by around 25.

I've always believed that there is so much more to love than chemicals.