[Poll] Background & Credit Checks in Relationships.

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If in the future women show interest join me I just tell them to go a way then.

Then under these circumstances, you will never form a relationship.

You should be more like Kuraudo. Do you think she is ever depressed? Wouldn't it be better for you, nay, everyone to be ceaselessly happy?

Huh?
They'd just dump me anyways and I'm a horrible person for having debt from 10 years ago when I was still practically s child.

I never knew I was dishonest and horrible. I always tell the truth but little did I know dishonest means to have debt.

I have said to you before that debt has had not even the most marginal influence on any relationship in the past, not even my current marriage was affected by my debt. Even my wife has a student loan; she holds a Sociology degree. Do you think she is of the opinion that debt has prevented her from forming relationships with anyone? The answer is clearly no. I just asked her by the way.

Not what the others here keep saying.

Does it matter what other people say?

Yes , I don't live in a deserted island . I need people in my life.

It doesn't matter what other people say. Especially people on an online forum, who only derive opinions and theories that do not follow any standards of evidence.

If a person rejected me because I am in debt, that is a red flag , that the said person is a person I ought not to have a relationship with. I can tell right away that there is no authenticity in that person.

I probably scared off more than one woman when I asked about debt, attitude towards finances, etc on the second (sometimes first) date. Oh well, I sacrificed a lot to get and keep an excellent credit rating and refused to let my hard work be in vain. Not that it's a deal breaker so much as a serious red flag to me. Luckily I am getting married to a woman that while I have never seen her exact rating, I know it is probably in the top 1% of the population. I know many people with bad credit and while I understand life's challenges most of them got on their situation by their own financial irresponsibility. My Aunt for example got divorced recently and ended up destitute because she spent everything they had on taking expensive vacations and had to take a $100,000 loss on their home due to the poor condition and location it was in. In fact, nearly all my relatives are absolutely terrible with money and even my spoiled cousin is starting to sell off his assets one by one.

As for criminal record, in Canada it's hard to do and only the police chiefs can do it (and it's sent to the person or employer directly) but imagine if I got arrested for domestic violence because of my crazy ex? Nobody would have given me the time of day even though *I* was the victim, especially being an Aspie who was born without a silver tongue.

Above all else, the obvious thing to do is TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! I ignored the obvious red flags in my first two relationships and those instincts told me more than those backgrounds would have as neither had bad credit or a criminal record.

If a person insisted that I trust them at their word, and/or acted offended when I asked for permission to run a background check, that would raise a red flag for me. I can tell right away that the person is trying to hide something. If they have no criminal record, and their credit is good, then there is no reason to object. If they are trying to hide something, then they have something to hide.

Besides, for every candidate that refuses to allow a background check, there are many more who don't mind at all.

A criminal background history might be justified in some cases.
Credit checks are total B.S! The credit bureaus all lie like hell. Look at the number of attorneys advertising to clean up erroneous credit histories as proof.
I've been through two chapter 7's as a result of corporate greed and I don't feel I should be denied access to reasonable employment, housing, and a relationship/spouse due to it.
It's the "man in the business suit" that shouldn't be trusted, IMO.

I wouldn't credit-check anybody. It's an invasion of privacy.

People make mistakes; they should be allowed to learn from their mistakes without strangers finding out about those mistakes.

I might make an exception if somebody who wants to go into business, say, with my son/daughter (though I have no children).

Or if this person wants to just, suddenly, take my son/daughter somewhere. The red flags there would be everywhere!

My credit was bad in the 1980s. I corrected that. I'm in debt--but my credit is decent now.

I've never run a credit check on anybody but would certainly avoid dating a guy with a trashed credit rating.

I don't think I would want to be in a relationship with someone I felt the need to do a background check on, and I don't really see someones credit as a deciding factor as to whether they are relationship material.