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Somebody Been Paying For Me

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Kitty4670
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17 Feb 2016, 11:55 am

I want to talk to him & start to get to know him. If he wants to date me then why did he waited so long? We met at the coffee house 5 months ago.



rdos
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17 Feb 2016, 3:09 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
I want to talk to him & start to get to know him. If he wants to date me then why did he waited so long? We met at the coffee house 5 months ago.


IMHO, these kind of things are not compatible with dating. You cannot build up an interest for 5 months, and then just get dumped on a 1st or 2nd date because of some small issue. The typical ending is that once the "game" is over, you get into a relationship without any dating, because at that point you know each others well enough without having done any dating.



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17 Feb 2016, 3:19 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
I know it may not be him. But how long will this continue? I wish I know who.



It can continue for a long time (years). It's essentially up to the two of you to let it continue as it is or advance it.



rdos
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17 Feb 2016, 3:26 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I been eating lunch at this restaurant & someone been paying for my lunch, this is the third time. I think it is that guy I have a crush on, I HOPE I'm right.


That's really cool Kitty! I've only ever seen this happen in movies/on television, making it seem that much more romantic. Whether it's the coffee house guy, or a secret admirer, I'd gather that someone is interested in you. :)


I've been involved in similar things several times. It can and will happen if you allow it and you aren't too fixated on typical dating and "doing it the right way".



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17 Feb 2016, 8:16 pm

I would be extremely cautious about accepting a free meal from an unknown source. It may not be from the person you want.



Kitty4670
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17 Feb 2016, 10:39 pm

rdos wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I want to talk to him & start to get to know him. If he wants to date me then why did he waited so long? We met at the coffee house 5 months ago.


IMHO, these kind of things are not compatible with dating. You cannot build up an interest for 5 months, and then just get dumped on a 1st or 2nd date because of some small issue. The typical ending is that once the "game" is over, you get into a relationship without any dating, because at that point you know each others well enough without having done any dating.


I don't understand. Are you saying he's not interested in me?



kraftiekortie
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17 Feb 2016, 10:49 pm

I would say the guy is interested in you.



rdos
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18 Feb 2016, 2:14 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
rdos wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I want to talk to him & start to get to know him. If he wants to date me then why did he waited so long? We met at the coffee house 5 months ago.


IMHO, these kind of things are not compatible with dating. You cannot build up an interest for 5 months, and then just get dumped on a 1st or 2nd date because of some small issue. The typical ending is that once the "game" is over, you get into a relationship without any dating, because at that point you know each others well enough without having done any dating.


I don't understand. Are you saying he's not interested in me?


No, I'm saying you might not need any dating to get together. Dating is an alternative approach to what you and this guy are doing. This was kind of how I met my wife, and once we were finished with the game, we just got together. Not saying it will be the same way between you, but it's possible.

So, yes, he is definitely interested..



Kitty4670
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18 Feb 2016, 2:49 am

rdos wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
rdos wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I want to talk to him & start to get to know him. If he wants to date me then why did he waited so long? We met at the coffee house 5 months ago.


IMHO, these kind of things are not compatible with dating. You cannot build up an interest for 5 months, and then just get dumped on a 1st or 2nd date because of some small issue. The typical ending is that once the "game" is over, you get into a relationship without any dating, because at that point you know each others well enough without having done any dating.


I don't understand. Are you saying he's not interested in me?


No, I'm saying you might not need any dating to get together. Dating is an alternative approach to what you and this guy are doing. This was kind of how I met my wife, and once we were finished with the game, we just got together. Not saying it will be the same way between you, but it's possible.

So, yes, he is definitely interested..



Are you talking about having a relationship without dating? We don't really know each other, but it's feel like we know each other a little. I do have strong feelings for the guy, I don't know about him, I hardly seen him in 3 weeks, I don't know what to believe in. All I do know that I'm scared & having a lot of doubts.



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18 Feb 2016, 2:52 am

I was informed in school by a career astronomer on this "There is no such thing as a free lunch.", she tells every student. You had to walk through more than 3 doors for your meals.


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18 Feb 2016, 4:56 am

Donald Duck,

You did not answer my question.

Were they three times in a row? Are you eating there VERY frequently?

If you are a very loyal customer to this restaurant, like eating there every day or so, dinners and lunches, then their management may notice you and may offer you free meals sometimes.
I dunno, where I live this is not an uncommon practice done to customers who stick to one restaurant for daily eating.

You suspected before you have an admirer in that place so I am assuming you have a (maybe subconscious) motivation to eat there frequently, much more frequently than their average customer.



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18 Feb 2016, 1:48 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
I want to talk to him & start to get to know him. If he wants to date me then why did he waited so long? We met at the coffee house 5 months ago.


Not to be a potential bearer of bad news...but if you met the guy 5 months ago and he's never asked you out or even really talked to you which is what it sounds like, it seems more likely he doesn't want to date you.

I have also never heard of a guy trying to date a girl by secretly covering their lunch bill and never coming forward as the culprit. I mean closest thing I hear of is if a guy buys a girl a drink...and bar tender indicates who its from or the guy makes eye contact or waves or something at them to imply they bought them the drink. But the guy has to indicate to the girl he did that for her or then its just an nice gesture but wont get them any attention from that girl.

Are you certain its not someone being charitable or the restaurant giving you meals on the house?


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Kitty4670
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18 Feb 2016, 1:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Donald Duck,

You did not answer my question.

Were they three times in a row? Are you eating there VERY frequently?

If you are a very loyal customer to this restaurant, like eating there every day or so, dinners and lunches, then their management may notice you and may offer you free meals sometimes.
I dunno, where I live this is not an uncommon practice done to customers who stick to one restaurant for daily eating.

You suspected before you have an admirer in that place so I am assuming you have a (maybe subconscious) motivation to eat there frequently, much more frequently than their average customer.


No, I don't go there everyday. A lot of times, I do pay for my own lunch.



rdos
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18 Feb 2016, 5:21 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Not to be a potential bearer of bad news...but if you met the guy 5 months ago and he's never asked you out or even really talked to you which is what it sounds like, it seems more likely he doesn't want to date you.


If I was this guy, I would not want to have anything to do with dating. This is a whole different game from dating, but with the same intended end-result. He quite probably is interested, but I'm sure he would not want to do typical dating, because if he wanted to do that, he'd made such a move a long time ago.

Sweetleaf wrote:
I have also never heard of a guy trying to date a girl by secretly covering their lunch bill and never coming forward as the culprit. I mean closest thing I hear of is if a guy buys a girl a drink...and bar tender indicates who its from or the guy makes eye contact or waves or something at them to imply they bought them the drink. But the guy has to indicate to the girl he did that for her or then its just an nice gesture but wont get them any attention from that girl.


That's because typical guys are too shallow and not persistent enough. They go for whatever seems to be accessible, and will never have the patience for something like this. There is always an obvious cause-effect chain in typical guys behavior, and if they don't expect an immediate reward, then they will lose interest and try somebody else.



helloarchy
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18 Feb 2016, 6:36 pm

Please tell us if/when you find out - this is getting interesting XD



kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2016, 7:18 pm

Frankly, if the guy is paying for her lunches and dinners, and is NOT interested in her, I would think he's either stupid or up to something not quite right.