How often do men approach women platonically?

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Pretty much this. The third way of feminism has made live a living hell for me in universities. There are girls that have accused guys of rape, AFTER they consented to have sex with them; even if both parties were drunk. Even if men are found not guilty of a rape charge and are proved to be innocent, their life is pretty much over. It has happened plenty of times on college campuses. Obviously I'm not advocating rape by any means, but it's already getting to the point where if you even talk to a woman; you could be considered to be sexually harassing her. *awakes the feminists to roll in and attack me. Wonders how many links I'll have to post in this thread and it be pointless, because PC people don't listen to logic.*

You just have to try and learn how to spot it, or maybe just have an uninterested attitude. I mean don't seem too interested in what they have to say and give short responses. That actually turns me off as a guys, so maybe it could work in your favor lol.

I guess that would be the safe way to go, but it doesn't sound very pleasant. I'm not opposed to men being interested in me; I would just like to be able to tell so that I'm aware of the situation.

I'd rather not assume that every man is interested in me sexually. It's highly unlikely, and thus means that I'd be misinterpreting the majority of situations involving men. I'm not exactly a supermodel.

That's a tough question. I suppose I have an advantage as a guy in that respect. I mean, interesting women typically won't approach me, and I know for sure when I'm flirting with somebody and they reciprocate interest.

I think a safe method would be to assume that anybody that seeks contact with you is not being friendly unless there is a compelling reason why they would be (like if they have some reason to seek contact). That might be too restrictive, but it could work as a "ground rule".

Well, it's not very pleasant, either, to be told you can't respect a woman as a person just because you'd like to have sex with her, and that being sexually attracted to her automatically disqualifies you as a friend, whether you are interested in the friendship or not, but it seems to be gospel truth.

In my aspie worldview, this doesn't make sense. There are a lot of things I could, in principle, do with someone. If I find them sexually attractive, they reciprocate, and they're not committed to someone else, sex is one of them. It doesn't negate the rest. I wouldn't try to force anyone to have sex with me any more than I'd try to force them to share a special interest of mine if they didn't want to.

I resent the notion that having romantic feelings for a woman means you don't respect her as a human being. On the contrary, my theoretical girlfriend would be my best friend and equal. The whole sex thing is really just icing on the cake - the important thing is a genuine partnership.

Just because you don't immediately start attracted to someone doesn't mean you can't develop feelings for them in time. I find "love at first sight" to be bogus. It's a red flag for hormones, not genuine compatibility. But when someone becomes more attractive the more you bond with them - that's real attraction.

I have befriended a bunch of women platonically before (until they fought each other and collapsed the group) without having anything sexual feeling toward them, and it still didn't give me the ability to be more comfortable around girls I find attractive.

Actually...let's be real, guys can't be really 100% themselves with female friends, never ever. For example, a bunch of male friends would joke with each other by using obscene terms

For example, two guys playing a game: -"Whoa man! You got f****d in the ass!! 4-0 Bahaha! ", -"I am gonna f**k you in the next game you piss! You'll see!"

While if he was playing with a female friend: "It's ok, you'll get better with practice!", "-I ll beat you one day!".

This was just a tiny example, fact is, there's always 'red line' in friendships between males and females even it's totally platonic

In fact, it was only the FWBs (and who are females since I am straight) who I was used to be 100% myself without any shyness, and them were themselves and would talk stuff in a language that they wouldn't say it in front of male friends.

I haven't had a male friend in about 20 years. Had a few female ones in that time.

I generally don't approach people (not really a people person), though I find it far easier to get on with women than I do men. Men just baffle and bore me. I mean, people do in general, but men in particular. I think the thing is that I'm expected to 'get' men, and there's no such expectation with women.

You certainly can respect a woman as a person and want to have sex with her. It's a lot harder to respect her as a person if you only want to have sex with her. Running with a 'yes of course I'm interested in and respect you as a person' line just to get her into bed - well, that's morally iffy. Then again, there's times and places where a jumping of bones is mutually sought, each partner objectified and happy with it, and there's hot lovin' all round. Context. Make it your friend.

As to the OP, I would suggest (if you feel safe to) seeing it as their issue and responding with good faith as far as your own interest allows. I understand that's probably idealistic - I know of situations where simple friendly politeness was taken to be an invite/come-on, and the men got pissy when the women had to make her disinterest clearer.

Why? People can have casual sex with strangers and still behave in a respectful manner.

Sigh.

Yeah, I know. Let's put that sentence back in context, shall we:

It's a lot harder to respect her as a person if you only want to have sex with her. Running with a 'yes of course I'm interested in and respect you as a person' line just to get her into bed - well, that's morally iffy. Then again, there's times and places where a jumping of bones is mutually sought, each partner objectified and happy with it, and there's hot lovin' all round. Context. Make it your friend.

Oh, look. What you said as a criticism is very much like what I said to expand the point and put it in context.

Bullshitting a woman that you're interested in her in general when really your sole aim is to get her into bed = bad. Meeting a woman under a context of understanding you're both there to jump bones and get off, having a whale of a time = good.

Mind, I'm not sure behaving in a respectful manner is quite the same as respecting someone as a person, but I've already got too much to think about.

I agree.

Wow, a lot has happened since I woke up. First of all I don't think every guy wants to sleep with me. A lot of men I meet don't seem attracted to me. I only think guys are sexually attracted to me if their body language and my gut feelings tell me he does. It usually does get confirmed he's attracted to me. For me the major sign is a lustful or romantic look in their eyes. Some other signs are nervousness and wanting to spend a lot of time alone with me.

What annoys me about guys who are attracted to me is we often don't have interesting conversations. They're more focused on their feelings for me than the real me and anything that's actually interesting. That means I'm deprived of the platonic interaction I want. If he's able to have interesting conversations with me or be fun I don't mind if he has a bit of feelings for me.

Ohhhhhh I am sorry, I didn't understrand what the bones thing meant so I just ignored it, please forgive me.

Ah, I see! Yeah, I forgot it's an odd idiom.

Sometimes.

To me it depends on the setting and the man. If they're my age and either on a forum like this or we're in a place for meeting new people, it's pretty much never platonic. If we're in a classroom or a game where we're interacting anyway, then yes sometimes they just want to talk to and connect with people around them.

I'm a lesbian so I can feel for the annoyance of trying to deflect people you're not interested in but not always spotting them early. I tend to take people at face value and not think too much about any oddities until it sounds really off. Some of them also go out of their way to develop a "friendship" when that's not at all what they want and they'll get upset when turned down for hugging, cuddling, flirting, etc.

Just turn them down when they ask or try to close the conversation if things get too personal. The ones that don't listen you can get more firm with.

Honestly, speaking from my adult experience, I found male friends more fun, more chilled, less conflicting and easier to maintain than female friends, and less conflicting.....and yes, way more common interests.

While friendship with female friends was often like walking on eggs ...... and gawd when things go bad between two or 3 of them, they ALL complain to me and each one of them is like wanting me to side with one against the other while I am not even part of their fight/conflict!

Now I am friend with only one female friend (others got married, moved, or left group because they hate some other girl).

It's peace again.