Why do I attract people from the geek subculture?

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Ahem if you'd like me to be completely honest and confident, from your personality DevilKisses you do sound like the kind of person I would genuinely enjoy being friends with - people with slightly geeky interests but are still counter-cultural enough to not be neo-geek clones and have alternative, interesting views of the world that intrigue me.

That's generally what I'm like, what my friends are like, and according to your posts what you may be like.

This is why I suggested the details in your profile, that actually give an idea of your personality, might be an answer.

Some may not read it, but I'm sure you could weed those out quickly. Those that will can decide if your personality sounds compatible to theirs or not.

However, TheSpectrum is right. Males will think by looks first and some may not consider sexuality and personality.

I wish I never look like a geek guy or bro - two extreme opposites yet I can pull off both easily. I just want to look attractive and stylish but also unique. Or laidback and relaxed but not like a jock. I was trying to avoid the 'nerd who slaps a fedora on' stereotype by actually wearing matching shirt, dress pants, shoes, etc. but it's not enough - it's just too out of style (among fashionably smart people, not neckbeard geeks). My new possible style is this: http://tinypic.com/usermedia.php?uo=uW4 ... h4l5k2TGxc

mr.bigmouth: Agreed. That's what I seek out - genuine people who like what they like because they like it, not trends/products of the millenial generation.

People who are timeless (as in, someone like them could have existed in the past, could exist in the future) and not someone who's personality is based on whatever environmental influences of today.

Of course, the time in which we are born has an influence on what kind of person we are, but it's avoidable.

Counter-cultural people, for instance, are somewhat timeless - hippies of the '60s, hippies of today. Punk anarchists of the '80s, some may exist today.

Meanwhile the Mark Zuckerberg skinny guy technology-loving, pop culture Doctor Who, hipster glasses, anime weaboo, neckbeard etc. 'cool geek' types? Relatively new. Only time will tell if it's just a trend.

"Don't date geek girls" article.

Um...I actually knew a girl 90% like that in high school as a friend.

She wore hipster glasses, minecraft/avenger/pacman/anime shirts, skinny jeans, hipster beanies, spiderman phone case, feminist, christian, musician, gamer, sci-fi/fantasy book fan.

And I actually kind of liked her at one point.

But yeah, it's very irrational in general, for male or females, to have some unrealistic idea of what they want in another person and expect nothing less than perfection.

^ How do you know they're actually projecting those ideas onto you? (genuine curious question) And could you maybe be projecting this idea of "neogeeks" onto people who actually aren't. For example, just because someone likes a few chosen anime shows, like myself, doesn't mean that they're obsessed with anime. I actually used to be very hostile towards anime, but it's just a form of animation to me now. If the story is good why not? I detest most "social" anime that follows anime tropes though.

Simply put if she is not interested in the looks of them (look as in impression, not physical, though physical attractiveness and personality both go into impressions) she does not have to be interested in them, even if she may be projecting onto them.

I know the feeling.

I've argued time and time again, that the vast majority of the time, most people I come across, I can guess their personality and am usually correct most of the time.

Yes, it is judging a book by its cover, but most people choose how they look and what they wear, and how they want to come across.

Plenty may come across in a way they don't want to, so of course I give most people a chance - but I am often disappointed as, yes, that guy that looks like a racist, homophobic, obnoxious, arrogant bro, turns out to be one. Whp'd have known?

Plenty of females that have been attracted to me appear to be the typical shallow, snobby, uptight, catty females that were popular in high school.

I also assume most of them are boring.

The one girl that gave me interest on this dating site post I made - she looked like she taes care of her appearance - wearing lipstick, heavy makeup and trying to achieve perfect hair. Her profile photos on facebook were also quite generic and looked like she focused heavily on her looks (narcissistic selfies, selfies of her in a dress before going to event such as dance/formal, selfies with her friends who all had similar style, etc.)

To my 'surprise', her hobbies/interests were 'cooking, coloring in, hip-hop music (I'm assuming lowest common denominator modern cr*p)' and she was a part-time model.

I also assumed she was probably an attention-seeking girl that likes to have lots of males coming after her - well, considering about 90% of her friend's list was males in the 16-20 range, and her pictures always having a high number of likes and comments by males, it appears so.

There's nothing wrong with projecting, so long as you have the evidence.

If a guy or gal looks nerdy/geeky, yet the details in their profile do not show it at all and may even be contrary to their appearance, that's evidence.

I could tell by the girl's looks and personality, the one I spoke to, of what her kind of person she would be, and I was correct.

People also make incorrect assumptions of me and assume I'm a 'bro' male, or at least more broish than I actually am (am about 25% bro, not 50% or 75%+).

It's not our fault a55h•les think with their libido rather than logic and reason.

I also put in details of my personality to ensure it narrows people down or not.

Decently well.

And nah, she was a very genuine person. Very real.

Now, when you say 'counter-cultural', that is in actuality a very, VERY broad group.

What exactly do you mean by 'counter-cultural'?

Counter-cultural simply means non-mainstream, so it could be anything from non-gluten, organic vegan non-animal tested eco-friendly hippy, to punk rock anarchist, goth, etc.

I remember you said you're interested in more edgy, punk rock women and want to come across as a way to attract them.

Question is, if you put yourself in their shoes, what might they be interested in? What might catch their attention?

I think we can both agree it's very possible to change parts of who you are without sacrificing your integrity.

So I say know your audience.

Easier said than done. I've gave up trying and just want to be myself and see what types I generally attract.

The problem is, I don't know my audience. When I had less of a persona I attracted creepy old men, bro types and occasionally good guys. Now I only attract geeks and guys with bad profiles. I think something that might help me filter neogeeks is showing my spiritual side. I just don't know how to show my spiritual side without it being too much.

Ah..so we have the same problem in that department...can't help any further than. I want to, because it means I just might find the answer as well.

At least you better know what you're interested in...

Hm...spiritual side.

Do you own any spiritual items?

If the websites you are on allow multiple pictures and not just a profile picture, you could upload some spiritual things you own.

Dreamcatchers, Ying-yang decor, tarot cards, oujia boards, images of yoga positions, diagrams of key chi points of the body, etc.

State your beliefs in profile description as New Ageism in the first place (or Spiritualism or whatever it may be).

I wish some dating sites were more like facebook, where you can like and list so many different interests - my likes are filled up with 'Mind, body, soul, spirit', and all that other stuff - very quickly makes an impression.

I find most dating sites rely on you putting in all the information.

Sometimes I think it should be more about show, don't tell.