Can Men And Women Just Be Friends?

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Well, now that you put it that way...

I'm still human. I still found them attractive. I joked with my male friends about having sex with the female friends. But it was just that: words. Heck, one time, me and one female friend drove to another town to a dance festival. The hotel thought we were a couple and gave us a king-size bed! I argued with the front desk, but they had no other rooms available. We acted adult about this: we rolled the bedspread into a cylinder and improvised a divider. Then just shared the bed, and shouted "look away!" if one of us had to walk to the bathroom in our unmentionables. Honestly, whatever I saw, it was only a few steps away from seeing friends in swimsuits when we went swimming together.

Of course, when I got home, I "pulled the manual release lever", and she might have suspected that I did, but it was a "don't ask, don't tell" thing on our parts.

But anyway, I control myself because I value their friendship. They always treated me with nothing but respect, lack of sexual attraction nonewithstanding. And in my eyes, respect is just as important, if not more so, than sexual attraction. My most recent girlfriend had sex with me, quite regularly, even; but did she respect me? I highly doubt it, 'cause she was very abusive.

Not to mention sex has been up for sale since the beginning of time, but friendship is something money can't buy. If I don't lose contact, there's no reason why I can't keep being friends with these women for life. But a one-time sexual encounter could ruin it all. Totally not worth it!

Last edited by Aspie1 on 25 May 2016, 6:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

nurseangela wrote:
So you are saying if you were in a room with one of these women, unable to get out, no escorts for miles and no Latin music available, you would still keep your hands to yourself and have thoughts of what a nice platonic relationship you two have?

Yes, as a matter of fact i have known a number of escorts, i dont view them by their profession and in some respect i feel a little sorrow that they feel they have to do this for a living, i know some seem to like it and others mask they do but when you get them to open up you find they despise it.. Some (alot) have been physically abused both in their profession and in childhood. Its all these thoughts that go through my mind when in their presence, and wish only to show them respect as someone that they can talk to without fearing that im going to ""jump their bones"".. I even had one incident where the woman tried to jump me, but i insisted no, she said ""But thats what all men want"", i said not this man! I have high moral standards, and when im in a position where trust is somewhat expected then i will not cross that boundary! Come to think of it, i dont think i have ever been the person to initiate the first move, so to speak.. Call me odd, but hey, i know i am!

edit: oops, might have misread NursA's post, but statement still stands

Last edited by Uncle on 25 May 2016, 7:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

I live with 3 guys that I'm friends with so of course you can.

And those three guys most definitely respect you enough to not "try anything," even if sexual desire is there.

I live with 2 girls and 3 boys and no one has every tried anything on anyone for 3 years. We are all just friends

Exactly.

This really is more an issue of intent than attraction. If a guy wasn't someone I would normally date, chances are I wouldn't like him enough to be good friends. But relationships are often dictated by situations. There are plenty of guys I talk to who I might consider dating *if* I wasn't married. But, hey, it is what it is - and my husband found me first. I am also one of those that fell in love with a friend. And I also was a girl that was attracted to a number of male friends back in high school, and it was not reciprocated. So, I guess I'm a statistical outlier.

I feel it's best to acknowledge that sexual desire is possible--but that we are civilized enough to restrain it in order to maintain the friendship (unless you both discuss it, and desire a change in the nature of the friendship).

To deny the possibility of sexual desire is ridiculous, in my opinion.

But people can go 30-40 years or more being friends with somebody whom they desire--without even thinking about expressing that desire.

What if she was your BFF's fiance and was HOT?

I would just incorporate her as part of my masturbatory fantasy, and forget about even the possibility of "trying something."

Ha! That's funny!

FINALLY! THE TRUTH COMES OUT!

Why were you not interested in the good looking ones? Did they have crappy personalities?

Noogie? Isn't a "noogie" when you pull someone's underwear up their butt, Mr. K?

No not at all, as i have been attracted to people i wouldnt have initially perceived as highly attractive, Once i get to know their personalities i do often find myself being attracted to them if compatible to many of my outward way deep thoughts of philosophies etc, attraction again is rather subjective. Even NT women i know have married men they weren't physically attracted to, but their personalities shone through

And you are not attracted to them in the slightest? And would it be the same if you didn't have your boyfriend?

I didn't vote because my answer would be "depends". On the people, the length of friendship, why they became friends, etc.