Fake nice guys!

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So, what was your point again? I'm trying to help out naive men, naive like I once was.

You shouldn't let it get to you. You're trying to help these guys but you sound way too bitter. Do you want them to be bitter towards women based on your advice (which is moulded by your experiences)? That would surely leave them in a worse position than where they started. Why not go in hoping for the best but at least prepare for a bumpy ride?

I got bored last night and decided to check out the recent politics on this stuff. Was watching this and, I have to say it in the last three minutes I think she absolutely nailed what's going on with this dynamic and pretty much what I've considered it to be for years. Pretty much 'nice guys' are the proverbial elephant in the room which reminds feminists that everything they profess to want a guy to be is something that society and millions of years of DNA tell them deserves no respect, the older parts of the brain medically let alone hormonally (attraction/repulsion) trump the newer parts, and like anytime that humans go through cognitive dissonance their tendency to demonize the source of the incoming challenge to that belief vs. actually question the belief is almost ubiquitously reflexive.

While that's quite a common and natural reaction it also means that they probably won't see a healthy solution to this issue, ie. where are all the real men at, etc., in their lifetimes and if they take it even farther in the wrong way of losing their isht and blaming the whole world around them it might not be in their friend's children's time or their friend's children's children's time.

There's nothing ridiculous about having standards. Women are human beings with feelings and desires, not just some prize to be won for "playing the game" well enough.


If you only compliment her and listen to her problems because you're hoping she'll date you, you don't deserve her.
Yes, she'll wind up dating another guy. Someone who doesn't need to compliment her all the time, because she shares a connection with him that can't be expressed with mere words. Someone who listens to her problems because he wants to, not because he feels like he's "supposed to."

Or maybe she'll date a total dickbag who cusses a lot, drives recklessly, and excites her in ways you can't even dream of. And that's okay too.

And maybe she'll date the guy who compliments her, and listens to her problems, and silently resents her for every conversation that didn't end with a rousing game of tonsil hockey. But don't hold your breath.


I have lots of people I hang around with and have no intention of dating. They're called friends, Keen, and frankly you don't deserve a girl's friendship (let alone girlfriendship) if this is how you think.


Well no, I wouldn't say that's true.

There's a difference between men who are genuinely compassionate and caring, and cold calculating "Nice Guys" who only pretend to care about your feelings because they hope they'll get something out of it.

It's not the "niceness" that's unattractive, it's the dishonesty. It's the mark of a coward, and I think most people (men and women both) understand this instinctively.

Yeah...I stopped reading after the cliché line about women aren't prizes to be won. My point was for men to avoid those kinds of women. Obviously that equates to "women aren't prizes" *rolls eyes*. How about we flip this around, if a woman was frustrated that guys just use her for emotional support, know that she likes them and have no intention of letting them know they aren't interested in order to string them along; well they would be called an a**hole. A vagina doesn't give a person an excuse to use people, whether that be through sex, using them to feel better about themselves, or to use a guy as a rebound. If women in this generation were prizes, they damn well should come with a warranty. Caught the last line. Women are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more passive aggressive than men in general.

All of this makes me SO glad I'm not looking for a partner. When I was, I really wanted to be nice to them and was really afraid of the repurcussions for not being nice, or too forward, or whatever. Probably too sensitive, but not trying to be a fake nice guy, just decent. I had plenty of other issues in my 20's-30's but couldn't imagine taking another stance.

That doesn't compete well with the aggressive guys, but I didn't want to go out with women or men who fell for them anyway. And it did play out kind of he same for men or women. So it was kind of a lonely time, until my 30's and the general maturity level went up.

So... wait. It gets better. Not much in the way of advice really.

"I have lots of people I hang around with and have no intention of dating. They're called friends, Keen, and frankly you don't deserve a girl's friendship (let alone girlfriendship) if this is how you think."
Wound up reading. ROFL AHAHAHAHAHAHA!. Thanks for the laughs. Were you expecting me to cry? Like a care about your biased opinion. I have female friends and you and I both know that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a girl that knows the guy likes her and never tells them it's not going to happen so that he'll get his hopes up and she can string him along. Did I just imagine women like this exist? Oh yeah I forgot, there are no deceptive women. I have personally seen guys spend money on women where it's obvious they know the guy likes them and they use him. It's happened to me and a lot of my friends. It's happened to a lot of guys I've talked to. Third wave feminism just teaches women it's okay to be a c*nt. Don't try to Jedi mind trick me missy.

What if the girl is like genuinely oblivious??

I believe the girls you are referring to are nice girls tm. Like nice guys tm they think they are really nice for not hurting guys feelings and using them to make their live easier.

My friend used to be terrible for it but she genuinely believed she was being nice by not rejecting them

Also are you OK? You seem a bit upset in your posts lately. I hope everything is ok sorry if I'm interpreting it wrongly

Those girls are much rarer and they wouldn't really be in the circumstance I'm referring to. I'm talking about girls that allow guys to buy them gifts all the time. I don't just mean birthday gifts, although if it's an expensive gift it goes along the same lines. The kind of girls that would allow a guy to take them out to concerts and buy them expensive gifts, instead of just telling them "Hey, you're a great friend but I can't except this, because I don't have feelings for you."

Accept* Not going to do an edit, because of the stupid spam caption filter.

Didn't see your last part of the message. Yeah, well I'm dealing with a lot. PM me if you'd like. See....I told you guys. A woman knows lol.

My experiences with Nice Girls(TM) have me very discouraged about relationships.

Society deems passivity to be a virtue, but the problem is that passivity can hide a spectrum of characteristics from lack of confidence all the way to covert viciousness. It's understandable, if incorrect, that people of both sexes should assume that their behaviour is "nice" as long as it is not outwardly aggressive.

Well you certainly changed your tune all of a sudden. Was it the hot girl with lipstick being nice to you that did it?

I notice a lot of guys saying this. Some might actually be fake nice guys, but not everyone girls date are fake nice guys. Sometimes guys do smell trouble, but any other time, it's because he's jealous.