Masculinity issues in society

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I know what you mean, Hurtloam.

I'm a masculine man--but I'm not over the top about it. I'm not really one to show vulnerability all the time--but when it's appropriate, I do.

Boo, if a guy I liked cried on my shoulder I'd comfort him, I'm not that hard hearted.

I am not so sure putting effort into appearance is or being hygienic is necessarily a feminine quality. Most masculine guys I know put some amount of effort into hygiene and appearance and aren't in any danger of looking 60 at age 30. I think it is a given people aren't attracted to slobs. Though it's also quite possible to put too much effort into appearance to.

This....


This is so romantic

That’s simply priceless.

Of course, it has to be earned.

I wouldn't mind a steak along with that bread and those veggies.

And it has to have a great height gap.

I would justify that how the behaviour impacts from young people? Today's generation for under 30, these minds works differently than back in 1950's. So like you all spoken about technology and society influences, okay lets go with that.

While I am not like many young minds on finding out of what they want to do with their lives. It is true that it could be their fault for not being themselves. Having too many relationships, traveling too much, drinking/partying a lot and so on could be the reasons why delaying their decisions on what they want. I am not saying this in right or wrong way but it seems quite clear. Having fun is good, but sometimes fun is not turns out what you want for your future. Like how the technology has changed over past decades, things are getting later and later, or even changed.

No problem with that, although it about technology that impacts on everyone's minds. Addiction of playing game consoles and on online, dating websites and other media sources that gained a lot of attention. Advertisements in general public is another influence; that speaks about body image issues. Body shaming is something we seen more recently because it the influx of how the advertisements of just 'beautiful models'. I have friends who doesn't like their own bodies because they see others are in better shape.

Okay so back on topic about masculinity. It have a same trend compared to other factors that I briefly explained. It about physical appearances. Men are men, women are women. Transgender are transgender. Whoever they are they should be themselves. Are we being inspired by role models in the wrong way? Like super models, film characters and so on? What depicts violence in our communities?

There are a lot of questions around this especially how people in their 20's think and speak of themselves. Are we living in a more despicable world than before?

I bet the girl is the same height as the guy.

Remember: she's sitting, and he's standing.

If not mistaken, isn't that some type of bacon in the plate?

Taking care of your health and hygiene is not feminine.

It is feminine for some of these guys because they actually try to LOOK feminine. Or, at least, this is the end result, intended or not.

Smooth, soft skin, creamy, silk-like looking hair. Slim, skinny figures. Hair in buns. Skinny jeans. Stylized hair that required a lot of time and effort. No hair on their face. Shaved legs. Makeup on their face such as foundation, concealer and eyeliner.

Is this what women or men usually have? If you said you expect these things traditionally from women, then that would probably be incorrect here.

Even the ancient romans, who accepted Homosexuality, men with shaved bodies, smooth clean skin and such were considered 'bottoms'/'submissives' to older males with hairier and more masculine bodies and features.

I also see plenty of young males outright use makeup nowadays - eyeliner, foundation, concealer, etc.

I don't know, spending as much time and money as women do to look attractive is not feminine? Especially since they're specifically making themselves look like pretty boys and beautiful men?

I just like to think there's got to be balance. It's entirely possible to take care of your appearance and hygiene and have a look of rugged masculinity.

Maybe it's not that I don't take care of my hygiene and appearance, by all means I do, just as much as them, it's that all these millenial girls seem to desire feminine looking men now.

I keep the stubble on my face, I don't clean shave. Why would I want to look like a woman or little boy? I don't shave the legs. I don't shave anywhere except hair on head when it's beatle's style long and shave it down to buzzcut.

I don't use all these expensive gels to stylize it into 1950's pompadours and don't even need to own a comb, why would I remove any scars that appear on my face or anywhere on my body?

I dress nice but in my own way and not looking like a Ken Doll who just came back from a Justin Bieber concert with his 5 man group of Heterosexual male friends who all have Feminist Bisexual girlfriends (men should be allowed to embrace their feminine side, of course!)

This is Australia, we aren't Europeans, though it seems we're becoming this way.

It's possible to look clean, yet rough. Clean does not have to equal - 'pretty boy' look, but that's the direction the trends are heading.

I'll admit, I kind of have some bias against feminine males, but they don't have to outright leave society. I just wish it weren't 'the norm' now and actually expected of males.

Do you consider Justin Bieber an extremely masculine man? Because soon enough, he probably will be by comparison to other men, lol.

Last edited by Outrider on 20 Jul 2016, 8:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Justin Bieber does lots of stupid things. Most of which are neither "masculine," or "feminine."

Doing blatantly stupid things is a good way to advertise that you can afford it while others most definitely can’t.

It’s hard to tell their height difference in that picture, since she’s clearly not standing at her full height and looks more interested in wrapping her arms around his waist while enjoying his arm on her shoulders.

Feminine men are nice. They're incredibly attractive. I like men in makeup. I like men who have their legs (though honestly I don't care either way with anyone of any gender, the cost of shaving your legs is astronomical, as well as the time you spend on it - what I really like about men who shave their legs is that they know this. Men who don't bug expect women to shave theirs can go get wrecked). Smooth legs are nice on anyone . The only body hair I have a specific feeling on is that everyone looks weird without pubes.

It's also not the norm or expected of males lol. And if it was, then congratulations! Enjoy having ridiculous expectations of your appearance! I can't say I feel a whit of pity for you, considering that those standards have been imposed on me my entire life. Lol.

But as far as I can tell most men still dress like lazy trash cans, think moisturizer and beard oil (when they have a beard) isn't mandatory. They've never used lotion in their life. They won't put what should be basic effort in their appearance. They comb their hair, brush their teeth, apply deodorant, and put on band t shirts and cargo shorts and think they're good to go.

I refuse to date someone with a beard unless they use beard oil. There's nothing fun about beard burn.

You know I found out a lot of guys don't wash their legs??? They think soap dripping down them is enough. What the hell is up with that?

Also complain about women liking tall men all you want, I've noticed that men often refuse to date taller women. So you really have no ground to stand on. I've been rejected multiple times because I was taller than a guy. I didn't care that they were shorter (I like shorter men), but they cared that I was taller.

You mean you like men who have their legs shaved?

To be honest I'm bisexual and, at least sometimes I think, feminine males are a guilty pleasure of mine.

I don't know why I irrationally hate them sometimes.

Maybe it's just because I feel like young millenials today are becoming more and more feminine not just in appearance but personality (and yes, the vast majority of feminine looking males I've spoken more than a few conversations with come across as feminine in personality as well) and society has no place for masculinity in men anymore.

I feel this insecurity, especially since it seems things like chivalry and gentlemanliness are dying, and some extremist Feminist demonize masculinity.

I don't think of masculinity as having to be about being loud, or rowdy, or aggressive or meat-headed.

It's about honor, nobility, chivalry, respect, brotherhood, hardwork, compassion, etc.

What I consider feminine is warmth, compassion, dedication, supporting.

It doesn't have to be this black-and-white. Of course men and women both fall into the opposites roles very often, and that should not be scrutinized at all, but there still should be some place for tradition in this world.

When it comes to women, I'll admit, I am attracted to more traditional women. Not some submissive little slave that will do everything I tell her, but maybe just someone laidback, relaxed, down-to-earth, modest, humble, sweet, sensitive, shy, warm and kind. Someone very open and easy to talk to and supportive of me and my goals. I'm a very ambitious kind of guy so someone non-ambitious would be good for me.

But I'd also definitely want her to disagree, and to put me in my place and guide me in the right direction when I do something wrong.

Not someone to 'mother' me, but to guide me.

The way young girls and women are now today intimidate and emasculate me as there is more to live up to now.

More and more women are becoming doctors, scientists, drive, own their own car, live on their own, and are completely independent women.

Plenty are outspoken, sarcastic, lively, passionate, confident, extraverted, etc.

It only makes it harder for us aspies males who naturally fall behind to keep up with women. We try, but we find it harder than the average male to graduate college, or get our license, our move out, get a job, etc.

Society in general has raised its standards for success, not just men and women.

I don't consider it sexist that I prefer the traditional working male, housewife dynamic if whoever I end up with chooses and consents to live this way and no one will tell me it is.

Some people argue it was harder for men in the past, because a jobless/carless/not living on his own man would have NEVER gotten a woman.

I think it is true nowadays women are more liberal and accepting and understanding of these things, but I also see a lot of women simply say the male has to be at the same level she is but with women becoming more independent this means the bar is raised higher.

So I don't see it as any easier than in the past.

And no, I'm not trying to speak for all women or act like I know what they are like.

I'm just saying I've met some that simply want someone at the same level as them, e.g. if she drives, he must, if she works, he must too or be trying very hard to find a job, if she's studying, he should be too if he's not working, etc.

I'm all for women today, and always, being independent and so long as they don't force out more tradtional women too.

I'm all for men being feminine, as long as society doesn't force masculinity out of all men too.