If i had an ex-girlfriend, it would be much more easy

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Relationshios do give experience but not always good experience. I know more than one person who still has hang-ups from an ex who made them doubt themselves. Also a sad number end in one person cheating which can leave the other with lasting trust issues. I do completely see your angle and I understand why you feel that way. Just keep in mind that for maby people it doesn't necessarily leave them a stronger or more confident person. The dating game is unreasonably tough and rejection is generally the norm but do keep trying. Having a date that didn't lead to more is still a positive step. I'm a NT female and I've had dates that didn't go anywhere. I'm on here as my brother may have ASD, he is 34 and he could have written your post.

Just another thought to add. Friendships are also very valuable relationship experience. Making a new friend is so similar to dating. If you focus on that also it should be helpful. And it also means you have people who know you personally to discuss dates with. They may be able to offer tailored insights into what you could pehaps try a little differently. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong but it is always good to have another perspective.