Opinions on love

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They did all kinds of tests on me, too. But this was circa 1964. They didn't find any abnormalities--but who knows what they might have found if they had more knowledge.

It's interesting. My dad and two brothers had childhood epilepsy+dyslexia but I did not, I'm on the spectrum but they are not. Seems like an odd coincidence, I figure something has to be going unusual in our brains and that there is large genetic component. It's worrisome in the article that it says that this epilepsy increases in likelihood with age especially with epilepsy already in my family. Never had any sort of scan on my brain so I don't know who weird my brainwaves are, would be interesting to see.

I think that there are lots of things in life that bring pleasure. Love is only one of them.

Like this scene from Amelie.



But do downplay love like it's not a huge part of being human is naive in itself.

I do think that some people are genuinely happy on their own, they don't have to be mentally ill to feel that way, but...

This quote came to mind as well:

Personally I believe most people who are actually content being single for the rest of their lives are either suffering from some mental disorder (schizoid, etc.), some variant of Asexual, absolute geniuses who's mind is so dedicated to their craft their mind does not even fathom romantic relationships (and even then many geniuses were social, including Einstein) or an exceptionally rare, tiny percentage of people who are none of these things but just genuinely happy being alone but are otherwise a perfectly normal person.

If you fall into the last category, I envy you.

I'd love to be an aromantic asexual with no interest in having friends either, or one of those lucky ASD types who have little to no interest in socialization.

I'd be truly free, and could do whatever I want until the day I die.

I hate to say it but a large part is stage of life and biology. Until your early thirties it's brutal, it de-intensifies with rinse and repeat. Overcoming it at 20 or 25 though? I don't know if I could have done it, and I still do have the urge to be in a relationship for the growth value in it it's just not nearly as urgent life-or-death-matter as it once was.

Well there are varying levels of aloneness; some people might have a good group of friends, a large loving family, a fulfilling job/interest, can support themselves, et cetera, and just a better life experience whereas others get the shorter end of the stick. I think it's more form of cognitive dissonance than a pathology altho some may suffer from that too, my favorite Aesop Fable 'the Fox and the Grapes' explains it: The fox can't reach the grapes no matter how hard he tries therefor he never wanted them in the first place and they're probably bitter too. It's a defense mechanism and perhaps it's one I'll have to develop in time, it's not a pleasant thing to think about. I don't think anybody is happy being truly alone and ostracized from participating in society, we're a social species and no man is an island.

In all honesty, both of you, I think being aromantic and asexual would be rather boring for me personally (though I would naturally have nothing to compare it to if I was born that way). Also, I would rather not be a sufferer of cognitive dissonance on this particular topic, as I would be lying to myself and making myself miserable not living up to these so-called ideals that I wanted to love someone but must achieve all these things first. I've found the more I've got to know myself, and ignored these stupid ideals, I've been far more comfortable in my own skin.

It is interesting. I went to an autism talk a while ago, and there was this research that mentioned how the ridges in autistic brains were deeper and so were epileptics.

I like that comment about the Fox and the grapes. I know a few people like that. They think that to make me feel better they should tell me all the bitter things about relationships. And it's just made me feel more sad. It's like bizzarro Pollyanna.

So I want something that's only going to hurt me? But if I'm alone, I hurt too. So there is only hurt. That is a bleak outlook.

I think that people can be content on their own, maybe not completely happy, but not depressed or sad either. A little piece of them is never fulfilled, but they can enjoy other things and other kinds of relationships. Life isn't over if you can't find a significant other. There's still lots of other things to enjoy about being alive.

I know people like that. They just get on with it. Sometimes sad. But not overwhelmingly so. Sometimes happy, but who is happy all the time?

If you let the search for love control you, you'll be blinded to the happiness other things in life bring and won't be content.

Some of us will never find a partner. We have to look for other forms of fulfillment and enjoyment. It's a waste of life to be too sad about something you can't control.

That doesn't mean stop looking, it just means look for other pleasures too.

You don't need to be a successful song writer to enjoy writing. No one has to hear your songs, but you could put them on YouTube. As long as the activity brings you happiness it doesn't need to make any great impact on history.

I can't write songs at all.

But I feel like I can be a good Cyrano De Bergerac LOL

If my current hobbies are all I'll ever have then I may as well be dead lol

You are allowed to develop new hobbies and interests, join new groups and begin new activities.

What would you like to do.

I'd like to start skateboarding again, but I'm in my 30s now and I know it's going to hurt more when I fall off. Lol.

Really what I do is write songs and take photos and maybe paint the odd picture. I used to crochet, I might take that up again.

Are really only the interesting people with interesting outdoor hobbies who get relationships?

I know those type get relationships in a faster pace, but ...I see a lot of couples with no such interests.

Most people I know are boring not just couples.

I know couples where one likes outdoors activities and the other doesn't. Mostly the male goes hiking or whatever and the female doesn't.

Anyway, I'm not suggesting activities to get a partner. But to just do things that are enjoyable.

honestly hurtloam, I think dating you would be like walking on eggshells, for a guy to impress you.

at least from what I gathered, just an assumption.

Thing is I'm just not interested. Extremely disinterested in sports, exercise, many social things really. Don't care to cook, don't have talent for music or much else. I'm fine with just writing or drawing or video games, I used to be fine with host those things, but being inside my own head all the time is very lonely and exhausting. It distracts me from my hobbies and makes me just want to sleep all the time save for work and family stuff.