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nurseangela
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05 Oct 2016, 7:54 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

What I'm saying, basically:

If you're talking to a girl, don't let the girl KNOW that you are looking for a relationship. Treat her like "one of the guys." Girls love it when you do that.

But don't curse in front of her. That's my #1 rule. Try not to curse in front of women.

The no curse rule is a winner, Mr. K. One or two slip-ups maybe and as I get to know them, I get more lenient. After all, I'm no angel. :mrgreen:

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nick007
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05 Oct 2016, 8:09 pm

I was acting pretty desperate when I got my 2nd & current girlfriend & they weren't bothered by the fact I was desperate.

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kraftiekortie
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05 Oct 2016, 8:29 pm

Whatever worked for you.

Desperation never worked for me. Perhaps because I'm short and not-too-good-looking LOL

Spiderpig
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05 Oct 2016, 9:56 pm

I’ve never actually looked for a girlfriend, mainly because I’ve never been aware of anything I could do to that effect, and I obviously didn’t find one this way.

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05 Oct 2016, 10:06 pm

anyone who really expects an internet forum like this to change their life is probably doomed

not that it can't happen. but if you expect such a thing, you're doomed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMSHvgaUWc8

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Outrider
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05 Oct 2016, 10:32 pm

It happened to nick007.

Sabreclaw
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05 Oct 2016, 10:47 pm

Outrider wrote:

It happened to nick007.

And some people win the jackpot on TattsLotto. Doesn't mean you should expect it.

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05 Oct 2016, 10:49 pm

Outrider wrote:

It happened to nick007.

it happened to me

still. anyone who expects it to happen to them...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMSHvgaUWc8

real change doesn't come from the outside. unless you do win the lottery

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05 Oct 2016, 10:50 pm

Don't worry, I agree with you both.

Mr. Nick always tells us his 'success story' when he is the literal lottery winner of WP.

Give that man a cookie with the WP alien engraved into it!

hurtloam
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05 Oct 2016, 10:53 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

What I'm saying, basically:

If you're talking to a girl, don't let the girl KNOW that you are looking for a relationship. Treat her like "one of the guys." Girls love it when you do that.

I agree. When a guy is overly nervous it makes me nervous and it's a feedback loop of nervousness.

Being treated like a pal and just talking away is a great way to get to know someone.

Unfortunately it's actually difficult not to be nervous around someone you fancy. I guess having a mindset of: "this doesn't have to go anywhere, it's just a casual conversation", will make you less nervous and you'll come over better.

Sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves and the stressed out "I really like you and I want this to work out" version of ourselves that appears when we want to impress someone actually works out to our detriment because it's not who we really are.

I wish I could actually follow that advice lol

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05 Oct 2016, 10:59 pm

^ yep

and the side effect when you actually stop caring about it is that you also stop caring about a lot of other things, and inertia sets in. it's a difficult balance to maintain. but i guess one of the main reasons for it is lack of social practice over the years. concealing your real feelings (without necessarily suppressing them) is inevitably a major part of most instances of socialization

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nick007
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06 Oct 2016, 12:00 am

Outrider wrote:

Don't worry, I agree with you both.

Mr. Nick always tells us his 'success story' when he is the literal lottery winner of WP.

Give that man a cookie with the WP alien engraved into it!

I agree too. I know I'm very lucky. I could always go for cookies :-D

Alliekit
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06 Oct 2016, 2:20 am

sly279 wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I actually stopped looking for a girlfriend when I was about 23.

While I was actively looking, I looked desperate. Girls would call me things like "gnat" and tell me to stop following them like a puppy dog.

In the subsequent years, up until about age 29, I was able to get many girls.

Was it you looking actively or things you did that made you feel,you looked desperate. I'm willing tto bet it was the later.

I don't like that you seem to imply me and others actively looking are desperate just because we want a gf.
I'm. It desperate. I'm going date whoever comes along just for having a gf sake.
I don't follow women around either.

I understand your point and I cannot speak for other women but that would put me off a bit. I would want someone to chose me because they love me not because I'm the only one who responded

sly279
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06 Oct 2016, 2:48 am

Yeah that was apple auto corrected

I dont know why but it constantly changes not into it.

I typed "I'm not desperate....." and " I'm not going to date...."

It's gotten a lot worse with iOS 10 vs how it was on ios9

Doesn't help I'm often posting when I'm short on time like my only 15 break or when transferring buses

For example I won't be with a smoker and I'd prefer potentiall gf doesn't drink or do drugs.

Alliekit
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06 Oct 2016, 8:26 am

sly279 wrote:

Doesn't help I'm often posting when I'm short on time like my only 15 break or when transferring buses

For example I won't be with a smoker and I'd prefer potentiall gf doesn't drink or do drugs.

Ooooh I see what you mean now

damn autocorrect hehehe

The Grand Inquisitor
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06 Oct 2016, 8:40 am

I feel less like an anomaly than I used to. This site helped with that. Otherwise, it's just interesting to see the perspectives of others.

If you didn't think there was any value in weighing in on discussions here, why would you comment your thoughts?

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