This lady has some serious issues with Aspies

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If those people are ever going to do is assume about that, then they're just making asses out of us and themselves. (please excuse my language.)

That poses a health risk for the other person, aspergerd doesnt. If I had something that posed a health risk I'd tell .

Here's a question should all this just be disclosed on the first date then? Just unload your life history right away? If not then you lied and they feel hurt later on after few dates?

I quite worry her if I tell they'd see me as horrible like this lady or worse see me as a potential mass murdering and try to report me to the cops. Asperges has quite a bad rap in the us. I think it's seen worse then narcissistic people

I don't do a lot of the things the lady listed. I don't call people fat.


But what if everyone would ditch you when they find out you have AS? Wouldn't it be better to hide it and have love then live alone and sad your whole life?
Your very lucky to have found someone who accepts your as most people aren't so lucky.
I've read of long marriages that were happy then when they were older guy got diagnosed and wife left him .
It's very terrifying:(

I'll probably just blurt it out anyways

Comparing being on the spectrum to herpes I think is wholly inappropriate. In my opinion there is zero reason to discuss the topic with somebody unless they have demonstrated the knowledge and ability to understand what you are talking about without the commonly held prejudices which in that case then they probably could make the guess on their own, most people are irredeemably stupid in this regard and I don't see an upside in doing it. 'People need to know', why? For what purpose? Discrimination?

I think personality disorders are worst than ASDs. There is more stigma to personality disorders than there is to autism.

But even people with personalty disorders feel the same way because they also want understanding and also don't like the negative attitude people feel about them whom they call nons.

For all the guys here thinking about not disclosing because of women like the one who wrote the article in the OP: did it occur to you that you are feeding (and legitimising) the fears of such women by discussing online not disclosing to women you date? Women like this one might come here to learn about autism, and then read comments like those in this thread that you feel no reason to be honest about yourself to women you date and it just makes them think they are right in avoiding men on the spectrum because they know there is something wrong with them that they need to hide. If you don't think what that woman is saying about guys on the spectrum is fair, then don't reinforce their ignorance and fear by talking about hiding your autism like YOU believe it is something to be ashamed of. If you act like it is something to keep hidden, like it is a reason for shame and embarrassment and lies, then they will believe it. The only way to fight back against this kind of unfairness is to not let it change how you think about yourself. Besides, if you lie (either directly or by omission--and yes, not disclosing is a lie of omission) all you are doing is setting yourself up for an unhappy relationship that won't work. Either you will resent them for not being able to be honest with them, or they will find out somehow anyway and resent you for not talking to them about it.

How many threads have we seen being started by NT women who suspect or have been told by their SO that their SO is on the spectrum who come here to learn about autism and how to be understanding to the guys they care about? How many threads have we seen that start "I want to be a good gf to my guy because I care about him a lot and I want this relationship to work out..."? Obviously there are lots of NT women out there who are happy and willing to be with someone on the spectrum and willing to acknowledge their ignorance and to do something about that ignorance so their relationships with autistic guys can be better, or we would not see so many threads like that--and there are LOTS, new ones pop up all the time.

If you don't disclose, you risk being stuck with someone who doesn't understand you and who would judge you if they knew the real you. If you disclose, you can sort through those people and get to the ones who will accept you for who you are and, if they are ignorant about autism, will be willing to learn about it because they care about someone on the spectrum--you! Not disclosing seems like an obviously stupid and immoral idea, to me. You would be consigning yourself to living a lie, to constantly having to "act NT" when you're around your SO, and living in fear that they will someday notice that something is "off" and leave you for it. Why put yourself (and someone else) through that unnecessarily? There are already enough challenges to making a relationship work, whether you are autistic or not--adding to those challenges by lying about who you are is stupid and self-defeating.

And I want to add: I don't necessarily think you need to disclose the second you meet someone or on your very first date, but it should happen relatively early on in the process of developing a relationship with someone. The beginnings of a relationship are all about getting to know each other to find out whether you are compatible or not--it is during this time you should have conversations about who you are, your past and your family and how you grew up, your goals for the future and whether you want to eventually get married and have children or not. This way you can find out early on if the person you are dating will fit the pattern of your life or not and if you fit theirs--if you seem to fit, you keep getting to know each other and getting closer, and if you don't fit you move on so you're not wasting each other's time trying to force compatibility where it doesn't exist.

I don't give a darn about women who read here our opinions because I won't likely meet them in person.

I will keep posting my opinions on the matter without pretending otherwise.

I have other more serious stuff and concerns to disclose like my atheism and my real opinion of islam - which is largely not acceptable where I live, and I disclose this early , so let alone to make them understand a condition with a weird name.
"Oh it's like Autism but much midler" - "oh but autistics can't talk".
Even disclosing my height online is more important.

Personally, people perceive me as normal but only very quiet or shy or introvert - and that's fine ....better than thinking of me of having something with an alien label for them.

Besides my AS is undiagnosed, so I have no proof that I have it anyway - so why should I disclose something that I suspect in me yet unproven?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 02 Dec 2016, 3:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

aren't you dicriminating against people who have herpes?

I'm not as lucky as you think I have had plenty of people take issue with my autism. And frankly I'm glad they did because now I know where I stand and don't have to deal with them.

I'm not suggesting you tell someone everything straight away but if you keep it secret for all your life from the one person who should love you completely you in for a sad and depressing relationship where you are always wearing a mask.

Wouldn't you be rid of a***holes like the woman in this blog. f**k her she doesn't deserve to date an aspie cause she is a dick. If I was an aspie guy who came across her I'd be glad if she knew because then she could dissappear from my life

Says the guy presenting the claim that every single woman on the planet — all 3 billion of them — would instantly reject him if they knew he suspected he has Asperger's syndrome.

Are you sure you know what "hyperbolic" means?

Thank you! You worded what I was trying to say perfectly.

I didn't make a such claim - but yeah disclosing it on a first or second date will decrease your chances much greater - unless she happens to be aspie too and aware of it.

Good for you but not all of us are that lucky

So you wouldn't date someone with herpes? How cruel its not like they can help it

BtW!!
Just because a NT woman posting here saying that she suspects her man has AS doesn't necessarly mean that he really has AS ffs!
Nor it means that he has AS yet secretly hiding it from her.

None of these men were officialy diagnosed if I recall right.

These women are not pscyhiatrists nor specialists in this matter - and in 90% of these threads they tell us about far more concerning and worse traits in their men than AS such as alcoholism, verbal abuse, physical abuse, cheating, total financial irresponsibility, total assholism....etc

Seriously whether they're really AS or not should not matter at all; I don't know why they come here to ask whether their men are aspies or not.

Like in this article talking about the man calling the overweight as fat loudly - that's not AS, that's being a**hole and lacking class.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 02 Dec 2016, 4:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.