How bad does my final text message sound? She didn't reply?

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Richardf269
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07 May 2017, 2:00 pm

I understand your situation. I was talking to this woman on POF.com and our convo's were pretty good. I really want to meet her, but I don't think she wants to.

And I agree with your last statement. I wish girls would do that with me, too.

AspieGuy96 wrote:
Btw, readers, I forgot to mention that she's totally cool with the fact that I work at Wendy's, (not that I had to bring it up) and she lives with her parents as well. She's a dental assistant and a waitress.

Before I sent the final text message, she told me she was shopping for groceries with her mom. We then proceeded to exchange addresses, and we talked about transportation in order to get to her house.

The problem is that I can't afford a cab and my parents refuse to give me any money. They don't think my situation is important. We're your typical middle class suburbanites, but even still, when it comes to money, you can't reason with them. Believe me.

The most you'll get from 'em is a dollar in spare coins, and $100 for Christmas or your birthday. They don't believe in allowances. In conclusion, I can't do any traveling until I have an income.

Another problem is that I was fired from Wendy's. The boss lost her temper because I did a poor job at cleaning the windows. Aside from that, I was doing good with all the other duties and I made friends with all the employees. The boss never liked me since day one. Good riddance to the fast food industry.

Today, I am currently waiting to be employed as a shelf-stocker at a library. (Library page) There's a 50% chance I'll even get hired.

I don't know when I'll ever get to see her. The only way is if I were to get up super early and bike all the way out there...

In conclusion, my only problems is being broke, and sending a cringey, autistic message. Other than that, she's understanding, but hopefully understanding enough to forgive me for my financial situation and the final reply.

One might say, there's other people, date a girl close by. The problem with that is there are no girls near me whom I can talk to on a regular basis now that school's over. My only method is to ask for random girl's numbers. Rarely does it lead to a date.

99% of these girls are ICE COLD. Pure evil. Lying, deceiving, two-faced cusses. Where the hell are the desperate girls? Almost every girl I meet wants to be alone.

I wish some random girl would walk up to me and be like "Hi, handsome. I want a boyfriend right this instant. Here's my number. Call me and we'll have a relationship." Dammit, that would be great. If only if it were that easy. But I digress.



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07 May 2017, 3:22 pm

Attention readers, here's how the whole conversation went, so there won't be any more confusion about this girl:

March 25th, 2017:

HER: Hey this is _ from okcupid u sent me ur number. Go on there I just sent u message so uk who I am lol

ME: Hi _! I'm _ from OkCupid. I got your message.

HER: How are u handsome?

ME: I'm feeling fine, how are you today, gorgeous?

ME: I'm gonna be straightforward: Do you wanna meet up for a date sometime next week?

HER: Really, would you like that?

ME: Hey it's _, sorry for the wait! I turned my phone off 'cause I thought you were done... :\ Yeah, absolutely. After all, isn't that what we signed up for? lol If you'd like to meet up for a date soon, feel free to choose a time and place.

May 3rd, 2017:

ME: Hey, it's _. So I went on OkCupid today after a long break and you told me to text you. Not sure if you're aware of this, but I'm new to online dating. In fact, I've only been on 2 dates in my entire life. I don't know how you'll respond to this, or if you'll even respond at all, but as I've said before, if you're interested in meeting up somewhere, just tell me the day, time and place. I swear, I'm actually a nice person. I'm not asking for much. Just one innocent date with somebody. I'm being real here. I mean, isn't that we signed up for? I just want to experience a relationship. Don't you?

HER: Hey thanks for hitting me up. Yes that sounds nice and all but I don't even know if you are real you could be some old grandpa for all I know lol

ME: Are you freaking kidding me? Is that what the hesitation is all about? Of course I'm real. How would you feel if I said that YOU aren't real? People are so paranoid these days. I'll send you a selfie right on the spot.

ME: (QUICK SELFIE POSE)

ME: (QUICK SELFIE POSE)

HER: You're fine. But tell me more about yourself and where do you stay by? I'm in the burbs

ME: I live in (x). (x)th & (x), near (store). I'm just chilling at the library right now.

HER: I'm gonna buy a car soon so it will be easier to see each other but for now we'd just have to meet up somewhere

ME: (Deleted text, something about working at Wendy's)

HER: That's what's up, it doesn't matter where you work as long as every week you counting more money. You're only 30 min from me.

HER: Is there any way you can take a train to me?

HER: Or at least meet halfway? I'm at the store with my mom she gets pissed when I text sorry

HER: If I'm too far for u just let me know

ME: No, you're not too far from (x).

ME: I mean it depends on where you're at. It would be a lot easier for me to take a bus?

HER: I looked it up on Internet it says bus train bus lol or 30 min in the car go on the Internet and type in (x)th and (x) to (x) and click the train option it will tell you exactly which bus or train to take

ME: Ok

ME: Um, I won't know what bus/train to take if I don't have a specific destination... :\

HER: (Address, suburb)

ME: I just called (transportation), and I've come to the conclusion that it would be easier for me to just take a cab. However, I don't have the money for a cab at the moment...

ME: I suppose we'll have to meet sometime in the near future. I'll text you the day when I can get a cab.

ME: Btw, I live on (address) in case you wanted to know.

HER: Nah cab would be worse , honestly all you have to do is go downtown and take the train from (x) to (suburb)

HER: Ok

HER: Yea when would I be able to see u?

ME: I would have to take 2 buses to get to the (x) Station, which is almost $5. Then a round trip on a train is $13. Then 2 buses again is another $5... So I'll have to wait until I have the money to make this trip. Could be tomorrow, possibly. I'll text you and let you know until then.

HER: Ok I can ask my girl if she would stop you off at home or we can meet downtown?

ME: Wait, you can have someone drive me there?

ME: Or I guess we could meet at the (x) Station?

HER: If you come here I can get someone to drive you home like I can ask my girl or we can meet at (x) station :)

ME: I think (x) Station would be best. Right now I'm at Burger King on (x) across the street from (store). I'll have to ask my parents for money to get to the (x) Station.

HER: Ok

HER: What are you looking or hoping for from a woman or more specifically me?

ME: Well I think you're beautiful and I just want to experience a relationship with someone. I'm 21 and still, I've never had a girlfriend. I just want to know what it's like. I'm tired of asking for girl's numbers and not hearing back, or screwing up the date by not being socially entertaining enough. I've only been on 2 dates. One when I was 15, and the other with a co-worker when I was 19. If we do meet up in the near future, I just wanna let you know that I'm not the best at socializing with strangers until I warm up to them. I know that's a problem for some girls. But hopefully you could at least try to help break the ice. I'm just keeping it 100% real. Straight from the heart. Have you ever seen Sheldon on Big Bang Theory? Hopefully you understand where I'm coming from. Also, I just don't have the money to travel right now. Plus my parents are being unreasonable... I hope you understand. I would still like to meet you one day.



Last edited by AspieGuy96 on 07 May 2017, 4:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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07 May 2017, 3:48 pm

friedmacguffins wrote:
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-05-06/silicon-valley-tech-slaves-forced-live-their-cars

Um... How is that link relevant...



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07 May 2017, 5:02 pm

Ach...dude, you totally HAD her!! !

Oh well... Yeah, a bit of unnecessary self-disclosure is the main thing I see there. But also you got into a mini-argument over meeting up, plus arguing cost, etc. Totally unnecessary. That seems to have sent the impression you didn't really want to meet, and she just lost interest.

Just remember this lesson for next time! Keep at it! You'll get the right girl when it's time.



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07 May 2017, 6:12 pm

AspieGuy96 wrote:
Btw, readers, I forgot to mention that she's totally cool with the fact that I work at Wendy's, (not that I had to bring it up) and she lives with her parents as well. She's a dental assistant and a waitress.

Before I sent the final text message, she told me she was shopping for groceries with her mom. We then proceeded to exchange addresses, and we talked about transportation in order to get to her house.

The problem is that I can't afford a cab and my parents refuse to give me any money. They don't think my situation is important. We're your typical middle class suburbanites, but even still, when it comes to money, you can't reason with them. Believe me.

The most you'll get from 'em is a dollar in spare coins, and $100 for Christmas or your birthday. They don't believe in allowances. In conclusion, I can't do any traveling until I have an income.

Another problem is that I was fired from Wendy's. The boss lost her temper because I did a poor job at cleaning the windows. Aside from that, I was doing good with all the other duties and I made friends with all the employees. The boss never liked me since day one. Good riddance to the fast food industry.

Today, I am currently waiting to be employed as a shelf-stocker at a library. (Library page) There's a 50% chance I'll even get hired.

I don't know when I'll ever get to see her. The only way is if I were to get up super early and bike all the way out there...

In conclusion, my only problems is being broke, and sending a cringey, autistic message. Other than that, she's understanding, but hopefully understanding enough to forgive me for my financial situation and the final reply.

One might say, there's other people, date a girl close by. The problem with that is there are no girls near me whom I can talk to on a regular basis now that school's over. My only method is to ask for random girl's numbers. Rarely does it lead to a date.

99% of these girls are ICE COLD. Pure evil. Lying, deceiving, two-faced cusses. Where the hell are the desperate girls? Almost every girl I meet wants to be alone.

I wish some random girl would walk up to me and be like "Hi, handsome. I want a boyfriend right this instant. Here's my number. Call me and we'll have a relationship." Dammit, that would be great. If only if it were that easy. But I digress.


Well if you were working at wendys and got fired, get another job...then you will have money for a cab or uber or whatever to go see people. And don't just wait on one single job with a 50% chance of getting hired, put out more applications to any place you could possibly work...your parents helping you with money does not seem to be an option so yeah. Or if you hear back maybe see if she could come see you or something if she currently has better means to travel...but if not that may not work.

Also that last bit about wishing a random girl would walk up to you and ask you to be her boyfriend, tells me you aren't too terribly stuck on this girl...and perhaps you unintentionally made her feel you weren't really interested in her as a person. I mean you could try to explain yourself if you don't hear from her, or you might here from her...but if not for future reference never give 'i just want to date someone' as the reason since it can be taken wrong even if you mean you are interested in them specifically but also would like the experience of a relationship.

I mean can see saying that because realistically it may not end up a something long term and will in the end just be more experience, but you just don't want to say that even if you logically think it.


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07 May 2017, 9:50 pm

AngelRho wrote:
Ach...dude, you totally HAD her!! !

Oh well... Yeah, a bit of unnecessary self-disclosure is the main thing I see there. But also you got into a mini-argument over meeting up, plus arguing cost, etc. Totally unnecessary. That seems to have sent the impression you didn't really want to meet, and she just lost interest.

Just remember this lesson for next time! Keep at it! You'll get the right girl when it's time.


SHE'S STILL INTERESTED!! 8O :mrgreen:

HER: "Hey"

HER: "Am I ever going to meet you ? And would u still like me to answer your question ?"

ME: "OMG Hi _! Yeah! I never forgot about u. Oh, and sure, feel free to answer my question if you'd like. Sorry about my reply. I meant to say I'm looking for a long term relationship. You're a great woman, so let's take a little time, get to know each other a little better, and see what happens."

ME: "I look forward to meeting u when I get the chance. It'll be next week."

How am I doing???



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07 May 2017, 10:30 pm

AspieGuy96 wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Ach...dude, you totally HAD her!! !

Oh well... Yeah, a bit of unnecessary self-disclosure is the main thing I see there. But also you got into a mini-argument over meeting up, plus arguing cost, etc. Totally unnecessary. That seems to have sent the impression you didn't really want to meet, and she just lost interest.

Just remember this lesson for next time! Keep at it! You'll get the right girl when it's time.


SHE'S STILL INTERESTED!! 8O :mrgreen:

HER: "Hey"

HER: "Am I ever going to meet you ? And would u still like me to answer your question ?"

ME: "OMG Hi _! Yeah! I never forgot about u. Oh, and sure, feel free to answer my question if you'd like. Sorry about my reply. I meant to say I'm looking for a long term relationship. You're a great woman, so let's take a little time, get to know each other a little better, and see what happens."

ME: "I look forward to meeting u when I get the chance. It'll be next week."

How am I doing???

Holy crow, man! I love being wrong!! !

Good stuff. If you're able to see her next week, go ahead and be proactive making a date. Saturdays are always good. Ask if you can meet at her place about 2-ish, and just enjoy the day. Have a plan, stick to it. I've already put some guidelines for you on here, so adapt that to your situation.

One tiny little detail I should probably mention: I had someone else read your texts and asked her opinion. She thinks this is a girl just looking for a hookup or a ONS. I'm not sure I agree, but it's something to consider. That whole "friends first" line is good for weeding out users who are just wasting your time. Unless you really ARE just looking to hook up... In my experience, I've never been able to read the signals, but I managed to snag one of those once and had a little fun with her. Maybe this could turn in a serious direction, maybe she just wants to get laid. I really don't know. Take care of yourself out there, and good luck!



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08 May 2017, 1:03 am

AngelRho wrote:
One tiny little detail I should probably mention: I had someone else read your texts and asked her opinion. She thinks this is a girl just looking for a hookup or a ONS. I'm not sure I agree, but it's something to consider. That whole "friends first" line is good for weeding out users who are just wasting your time. Unless you really ARE just looking to hook up... In my experience, I've never been able to read the signals, but I managed to snag one of those once and had a little fun with her. Maybe this could turn in a serious direction, maybe she just wants to get laid. I really don't know. Take care of yourself out there, and good luck!


That's always possible, but she might just be a kind and understanding person. Since she's still quite dependant on her parents and still lives with them, it is perfectly plausible that she doesn't mind his financial situation or the situation with his parents while many older more independent women would. It makes sense that most successful older women would only ignore his 'flaws' if they only wanted sex anyway, however, these 'flaws' are not that bad at his age, especially not if the girl is in a similar situation to his.

AspieGuy96 wrote:
SHE'S STILL INTERESTED!! 8O :mrgreen:

HER: "Hey"

HER: "Am I ever going to meet you ? And would u still like me to answer your question ?"

ME: "OMG Hi _! Yeah! I never forgot about u. Oh, and sure, feel free to answer my question if you'd like. Sorry about my reply. I meant to say I'm looking for a long term relationship. You're a great woman, so let's take a little time, get to know each other a little better, and see what happens."

ME: "I look forward to meeting u when I get the chance. It'll be next week."

How am I doing???


She'll likely continue to be patient with you, but don't make things too complicated. This time just find a way to meet her instead of going into detail why this is too complicated and that is too complicated.



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08 May 2017, 1:42 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:

One might say, there's other people, date a girl close by. The problem with that is there are no girls near me whom I can talk to on a regular basis now that school's over. My only method is to ask for random girl's numbers. Rarely does it lead to a date.


Why don't you go to university?

AspieGuy96 wrote:
99% of these girls are ICE COLD. Pure evil. Lying, deceiving, two-faced cusses. Where the hell are the desperate girls? Almost every girl I meet wants to be alone.


Negative generalizations/perceptions about women will hinder you, and if you want a woman for more than boosting your ego, then you should look for more than a desperate woman. The problem with relationships based on desperation is, either one or both parties are disregarding the subject of compatibility, and so the relationships often turn toxic. Have some self respect and standards, and expect the other person to have self respect and standards as well.

quote="AspieGuy96"]
I wish some random girl would walk up to me and be like "Hi, handsome. I want a boyfriend right this instant. Here's my number. Call me and we'll have a relationship." Dammit, that would be great. If only if it were that easy. But I digress.[/quote]

Apparently most guys would rather do the approaching, and most women won't approach anyway, which works out nicely for the NT population. Relationships entail some degree of risk and burdens on the part of both parties, and for men, one of those risks is being rejected.



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08 May 2017, 2:04 am

Just shows how single statements could give the wrong impression. I'd agree with AngelRho. You totally had her.

I don't think she is looking for an ONS. After all, she suggested you could meet half-way, or at some station. That's not a location where you easily could have an ONS, but it is a good place to meet somebody and get to know them.

I'd go with her suggestion of meeting half-ways, or at some station. That's a good place for a first meeting.



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08 May 2017, 3:08 am

"Why don't you go to university?"

Well, you see, I'm kinda-sorta taking this College class... Even though this one girl technically isn't IN my class, I asked for her number and I didn't hear back from her. Ironically, I asked for this b's number the same day that I texted the girl from the dating site. If I ever see her again I'm gonna put her on blast. Get this: She wants to teach kids with disabilities... Fancy that...... I'd love to give that b a piece of my mind. Oh yeah, and I took a photography class not too long ago. Most of the people there were middle-aged adults and senior citizens.

Don't worry, it's cool. I don't mind sharing this stuff. I rarely get to socialize with people. It makes me feel human.

"Negative generalizations/perceptions about women will hinder you, and if you want a woman for more than boosting your ego, then you should look for more than a desperate woman. The problem with relationships based on desperation is, either one or both parties are disregarding the subject of compatibility, and so the relationships often turn toxic. Have some self respect and standards, and expect the other person to have self respect and standards as well."

I didn't really mean the thing about desperate girls. It's the internet and sometimes when I'm frustrated, I say things that are a little overboard... Then when I look back, I'm like, did I really just say that? However, it is true that most girls/women are lying, deceiving and two-faced whenever a random guy asks for their number. I could name over a dozen girls off the top of my head who've lead me on instead of being honest from the start.

In fact, I've only met one girl, ONE, back in High School who said to me "I can't give you my number because I don't know you." Why can't all girls/women just be honest from the start, instead of leading a guy on, then lying, flaking, hanging up, or not answering like we're a pesky telemarketer? That's rude, mean, hateful, and just plain evil. Liars deserve to go to hell.

After all the times I've been ripped off, 21 years of being single, can you blame me for being desperate? Most neurotypical people don't understand what loneliness does to the psyche. I literally NEED a relationship in order to heal, and get a better understanding of the female gender so I won't hate them anymore and see them as human beings instead of con artists from hell. I sure hope that makes sense.



Last edited by AspieGuy96 on 08 May 2017, 3:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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08 May 2017, 3:15 am

"Just shows how single statements could give the wrong impression. I'd agree with AngelRho. You totally had her."

"HAD"? She still wants to meet up with me. Look at my update.



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08 May 2017, 3:17 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
I didn't really mean the thing about desperate girls. It's the internet and sometimes when I'm frustrated, I say things that are a little overboard... Then when I look back, I'm like, did I really just say that? :oops: However, it is true that most girls/women are lying, deceiving and two-faced whenever a random guy asks for their number. I could name over a dozen girls off the top of my head who've lead me on instead of being honest from the start.

In fact, I've only met one girl, ONE, back in High School who said to me "I can't give you my number because I don't know you." Why can't all girls/women just be honest from the start, instead of leading a guy on, then lying, flaking, hanging up, or not answering like we're a pesky telemarketer? That's rude, mean, hateful, and just plain evil. Liars deserve to go to hell.


Why do you use such crude methods anyway? I'd NEVER ever ask a girl for her number, and even if I got it, I would not dare to call her anyway, so why would I bother with it?

AspieGuy96 wrote:
After all the times I've been ripped off, 21 years of being single, can you blame me for being desperate? Most neurotypical people don't understand what loneliness does to the psyche. I literally NEED a relationship in order to heal, and get a better understanding of the female gender so I won't hate them anymore and see them as human beings instead of con artists from hell. I sure hope that makes sense.


No, it doesn't make any sense. :mrgreen: :wink:



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08 May 2017, 3:18 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
"Just shows how single statements could give the wrong impression. I'd agree with AngelRho. You totally had her."

"HAD"? She still wants to meet up with me. Look at my update.


I doubt she would if she read your hateful comments about women. For your sake, let's hope she is not on WP.



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08 May 2017, 3:36 am

"Why do you use such crude methods anyway? I'd NEVER ever ask a girl for her number, and even if I got it, I would not dare to call her anyway, so why would I bother with it?" "Crude"?! It's normal! If you were single, then why wouldn't you ask for a fine chick's number? Even if the hottest super model gave you her number, you still wouldn't call her back?! Why?!



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08 May 2017, 3:39 am

"I doubt she would if she read your hateful comments about women."

You got a problem with that? I can say whatever the hell I want about whoever I want. Women can say "men are evil", but men can't say hateful things about women when they've had it rough? What, I can't speak ill of women just because they're women? What are you, a male feminist? Get outta here. You're full of crap.