Why are women so triggered by the friendzone?
I've been friendzoned before but I'm over it now. I just got to thinking because I read these strings of comments on this picture on Facebook. Check it out and you'll see what I mean https://www.facebook.com/thegeekstrikes ... =3&theater
Sweetleaf
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I've been friendzoned before but I'm over it now. I just got to thinking because I read these strings of comments on this picture on Facebook. Check it out and you'll see what I mean https://www.facebook.com/thegeekstrikes ... =3&theater
Well before I even look at it, facebook is a cesspool of negativity...at least when it comes to comments on posts. I mean I've certainly seen anti-male sexism, anti-female sexism, homophobia, racism and general toxicity all over on there in post comments. It could be something as insignificant as a girl making a video of putting glitter on, because it makes her happy and is an art form to her which I saw today...and then you get 'oh look at that slut' 'oh bla bla bla'....'I throw away plastic but its so environmentally horrible to rinse glitter off in the shower'. So toxicity on facebook does not surprise me. The only reason I really even still have a facebook is so that I can follow pages of bands I like and find out when they have shows, or are releasing an album.
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funeralxempire
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But see, in the mindset of some posters here when men are hysterical and irrational it's perfectly justified, but when people who lack a Y chromosome do it, it's clearly due to their inability to be reasonable and absolutely unjustified. Just don't call them sexist or misogynistic or they'll have a meltdown.
These are exactly what I'm talking about. I plainly said in my original post that "guy" didn't say or even hint at anything sexist or wanting only sex or feeling entitled to anything. Just that he had been friendzoned. And then you two perfectly prove my point by IGNORING ALL OF THAT and talking about how sexist selfish and unreasonable "guy" is. This is why it's impossible to have an intelligent conversation about this. The unintelligent people have already set the status quo. They just have to make sure nobody ever challenges it.
I didn't realize accurately describing my experiences in dealing with people complaining about the so-called 'friend-zone' was unintelligent. Just because you don't like my response doesn't make it invalid. I wasn't even responding to your OP, only commenting generically in response to XFG. I hope I didn't trigger you.
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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.
But see, in the mindset of some posters here when men are hysterical and irrational it's perfectly justified, but when people who lack a Y chromosome do it, it's clearly due to their inability to be reasonable and absolutely unjustified. Just don't call them sexist or misogynistic or they'll have a meltdown.
These are exactly what I'm talking about. I plainly said in my original post that "guy" didn't say or even hint at anything sexist or wanting only sex or feeling entitled to anything. Just that he had been friendzoned. And then you two perfectly prove my point by IGNORING ALL OF THAT and talking about how sexist selfish and unreasonable "guy" is. This is why it's impossible to have an intelligent conversation about this. The unintelligent people have already set the status quo. They just have to make sure nobody ever challenges it.
I didn't realize accurately describing my experiences in dealing with people complaining about the so-called 'friend-zone' was unintelligent. Just because you don't like my response doesn't make it invalid. I wasn't even responding to your OP, only commenting generically in response to XFG. I hope I didn't trigger you.
If your interjecting in the middle of an ongoing conversation then you should point out that you're not commenting on what everyone else is commenting on in order to avoid confusion like this. There was nothing in your post to tell us that you were talking about your own experiences and not just throwing in your opinion on the OP.
funeralxempire
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The fact that I had quoted a specific post didn't clue you in that I was responding to that post and not OP? Not a snarky question, a sincere question since it seems fair to assume you've used message boards before.
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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.
I hadn't realized that happened (referring to the reactions the OP has experienced).
Without reading all the replies, I want add a reason people might want to stay friends instead of date, since so many of the replies I read claimed it means the person wanting to just be friends finds you unattractive. It is not always based on physical attractiveness. Sometimes you feel there is an inherent incompatibility to long term relationships or marriage and, therefore, consider it best to stay away from acting on any attraction you might actually feel. Not everyone is willing to do the modern friends with benefits thing.
It is NOT always about being unattractive to the person.
I'm sitting here with happy memories of some of men I used to be friends with that would have been great to have been romantic with "if only ...."
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
I've been friendzoned but in a different way. It was by a terrible person who made it clear to me that she had no romantic or sexual interest in me; she was polyamorous but her web wasn't big enough to include me. She claimed to be my friend but in reality was just exploiting me for my money, my car, and my computer. I didn't see it as her using me because I really wanted a female friend and she actually tried to introduce me to her own female friends but they didn't like me. When she moved away to a city two hours away, she called me just to tell me she didn't like me and she was not my friend. She couldn't get anything out of me anymore so I was garbage to her.
Another person friendzoned me in a similar matter. She made me pay for her dinner as well as look up job applications but didn't want to hang out with me. I wish I could turn back time and have never met those two parasites had I known they would do what they did to me.
But see, in the mindset of some posters here when men are hysterical and irrational it's perfectly justified, but when people who lack a Y chromosome do it, it's clearly due to their inability to be reasonable and absolutely unjustified. Just don't call them sexist or misogynistic or they'll have a meltdown.
These are exactly what I'm talking about. I plainly said in my original post that "guy" didn't say or even hint at anything sexist or wanting only sex or feeling entitled to anything. Just that he had been friendzoned. And then you two perfectly prove my point by IGNORING ALL OF THAT and talking about how sexist selfish and unreasonable "guy" is. This is why it's impossible to have an intelligent conversation about this. The unintelligent people have already set the status quo. They just have to make sure nobody ever challenges it.
I didn't realize accurately describing my experiences in dealing with people complaining about the so-called 'friend-zone' was unintelligent. Just because you don't like my response doesn't make it invalid. I wasn't even responding to your OP, only commenting generically in response to XFG. I hope I didn't trigger you.
Yeah, it is unintelligent because you can't read what other men are thinking.
Women friendzone guys all the time. I see it everyday. Guys do it as well, but it is not nearly as common.
They aren't romantically attracted to them, but they will still keep them around, and even do the same things a romantic couple would do.
This happens for many reasons, such as: insecurity, low self-esteem, one or both people lying about, or hiding their intentions, being naïve, socially clueless, selfishness, etc.
Guys will hang out with women, and pretend to be their best friend, when in reality, they are actually romantically interested in them. They won't ever tell them though, because they have either been turned down already, or they are afraid of being turned down. They think if they stick around long enough, and spend more time with them, they might one day change their mind (this very rarely happens).
Friendzoning people is basically leading the other person on, if you aren't honest about your intentions. I think this is the main reason why women get mad about it, if you bring it up.
Why is this such a common thing?
A guy is not friendzoned by the fact that the girl would rather be friends with him alone. The guy must then continue to maintain a relationship with the girl under the false cover of being a friend. And to this end, women become upset by these guys because they are liars. These guys claim to be a friend when they have ulterior motives, and often grow to harbor resentful and hostile feelings towards the woman.
In the vast majority of cases, the term is shorthand for being used, often deliberately by someone who, solely by the virtue of being female, has plausible deniability. The rhetoric of a guy who simply throws a fit over just being "friend" material is not much more than a strawman. These butthurt women are angry that they're being called on their bs, and then you have white knights who defend them with some nonsense about objectification, which is entirely normal behavior on both sides.
If she says "Let's just be be friends," or "I'm not interested in you in that way, but we can be friends," or some similar thing, and his reply is "Ok!" or some similar thing, and he hangs around pretending to be a friend, listening to her problems, perhaps even paying for things for her, that's entirely on him. He could have walked away and didn't, and is deceiving her if being just a friend isn't actually ok with him.
Why is this such a common thing?
A guy is not friendzoned by the fact that the girl would rather be friends with him alone. The guy must then continue to maintain a relationship with the girl under the false cover of being a friend. And to this end, women become upset by these guys because they are liars. These guys claim to be a friend when they have ulterior motives, and often grow to harbor resentful and hostile feelings towards the woman.
"The guy must then continue to maintain a relationship with the girl under the false cover of being a friend"? What are you talking about? You can't secretly have a relationship with someone. I can't pretend to be a girl's friend when actually I'm her boyfriend but she doesn't know that. If you're not her boyfriend all you are is her friend regardless of what you actually want to be.
Yes, guys lie about, and hide their intentions with women.
If a guy suddenly starts hanging around you all the time, or goes out of his way to talk to you, he is probably romantically interested, no matter if he tells you or not. Guys don't do this for no reason. If he asked you out and you turned him down, and he still wants to hang out with you, he is still interested, but he is just trying a different approach (pretending to be your best friend).
In the vast majority of cases, the term is shorthand for being used, often deliberately by someone who, solely by the virtue of being female, has plausible deniability. The rhetoric of a guy who simply throws a fit over just being "friend" material is not much more than a strawman. These butthurt women are angry that they're being called on their bs, and then you have white knights who defend them with some nonsense about objectification, which is entirely normal behavior on both sides.
If she says "Let's just be be friends," or "I'm not interested in you in that way, but we can be friends," or some similar thing, and his reply is "Ok!" or some similar thing, and he hangs around pretending to be a friend, listening to her problems, perhaps even paying for things for her, that's entirely on him. He could have walked away and didn't, and is deceiving her if being just a friend isn't actually ok with him.
In my case, I wasn't pretending to be a friend. I genuinely wanted to be friends with the two that exploited me and I didn't realize they were indeed exploiting me until after they decided I was worthless to them since they couldn't get anything out of me anymore.
Yes, guys lie about, and hide their intentions with women.
If a guy suddenly starts hanging around you all the time, or goes out of his way to talk to you, he is probably romantically interested, no matter if he tells you or not. Guys don't do this for no reason. If he asked you out and you turned him down, and he still wants to hang out with you, he is still interested, but he is just trying a different approach (pretending to be your best friend).
The type of friendzone the OP is talking about much worse. He's talking about women who would ostracize their male friends.
