My struggles in finding a girlfriend
sly279 wrote:
Loner269 wrote:
It sure is interesting how a thread about not finding a girlfriend quickly became a weightloss-thread, like it's the most important thing in finding a girlfriend.
It’s one of 4 most important deal breakers.
I know a pretty damn chunky guy who not only has a girlfriend, but had heaps of one-night-stands before then. It really isn't as big of a deal as you make it out to be.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,451
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Sabreclaw wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Loner269 wrote:
It sure is interesting how a thread about not finding a girlfriend quickly became a weightloss-thread, like it's the most important thing in finding a girlfriend.
It’s one of 4 most important deal breakers.
I know a pretty damn chunky guy who not only has a girlfriend, but had heaps of one-night-stands before then. It really isn't as big of a deal as you make it out to be.
Did you see him with the girls, making out with them?
Don't believe everyone; a lot of guys exaggerate 10 fold their sexual adventures.
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Loner269 wrote:
It sure is interesting how a thread about not finding a girlfriend quickly became a weightloss-thread, like it's the most important thing in finding a girlfriend.
It’s one of 4 most important deal breakers.
I know a pretty damn chunky guy who not only has a girlfriend, but had heaps of one-night-stands before then. It really isn't as big of a deal as you make it out to be.
Did you see him with the girls, making out with them?
Don't believe everyone; a lot of guys exaggerate 10 fold their sexual adventures.
I have. That guy has never had trouble with women. He's really outgoing and pushes boundaries a little bit. It's normal behavior for guys like that; it's us weirdos who spend too much time on the internet who struggle with this stuff.
Fireblossom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Loner269 wrote:
It sure is interesting how a thread about not finding a girlfriend quickly became a weightloss-thread, like it's the most important thing in finding a girlfriend.
It’s one of 4 most important deal breakers.
What are the other three in your opinion?
Job
Car
Home
Looks
Then it’s about whether the mans personality and interests are a match
So it’s really two categories
Status-job,car,home
Looks-fitness,attractiveness
Sabreclaw wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Loner269 wrote:
It sure is interesting how a thread about not finding a girlfriend quickly became a weightloss-thread, like it's the most important thing in finding a girlfriend.
It’s one of 4 most important deal breakers.
I know a pretty damn chunky guy who not only has a girlfriend, but had heaps of one-night-stands before then. It really isn't as big of a deal as you make it out to be.
Yes and people win the lottery by do all people win the lottery.
There’s always going be outliers and abnormalities. Doesn’t make them the norm doesn’t mean what happens to them will happen to all people similar to them.
Otherwise we’d all be billionaires and movie stars.
Marknis wrote:
I was overweight even when I had my first and so far only girlfriend. She was overweight as well but not like those disgusting fat acceptance types who can hardly move without their joints popping.
You had a gf?
Then you’re better off then me. You are dateable and loveable while I’m not.
Women’s only use for me is a temporary plaything they toss away when they get bored
sly279 wrote:
Job
Car
Home
Looks
Then it’s about whether the mans personality and interests are a match
So it’s really two categories
Status-job,car,home
Looks-fitness,attractiveness
Car
Home
Looks
Then it’s about whether the mans personality and interests are a match
So it’s really two categories
Status-job,car,home
Looks-fitness,attractiveness
Why do you think this? Is this a conclusion you've gotten to from reading between lines or have women actually said this to you? If so, then how many have said this?
sly279 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Loner269 wrote:
It sure is interesting how a thread about not finding a girlfriend quickly became a weightloss-thread, like it's the most important thing in finding a girlfriend.
It’s one of 4 most important deal breakers.
What are the other three in your opinion?
Job
Car
Home
Looks
Then it’s about whether the mans personality and interests are a match
So it’s really two categories
Status-job,car,home
Looks-fitness,attractiveness
I would say personality is important and there are some interests that I would be wary of such as football fan.
But the others - all very unimportant.
I do have experience in relationships and I would say that if women are using you then tossing you away, what are you doing to contribute to this? Could it be anything to do with you way of thinking?
AngelRho
Veteran

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
sly279 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I was overweight even when I had my first and so far only girlfriend. She was overweight as well but not like those disgusting fat acceptance types who can hardly move without their joints popping.
You had a gf?
Then you’re better off then me. You are dateable and loveable while I’m not.
Women’s only use for me is a temporary plaything they toss away when they get bored
Welcome to manhood, my brutha. We’ve been waiting for you!
Fireblossom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Job
Car
Home
Looks
Then it’s about whether the mans personality and interests are a match
So it’s really two categories
Status-job,car,home
Looks-fitness,attractiveness
Car
Home
Looks
Then it’s about whether the mans personality and interests are a match
So it’s really two categories
Status-job,car,home
Looks-fitness,attractiveness
Why do you think this? Is this a conclusion you've gotten to from reading between lines or have women actually said this to you? If so, then how many have said this?
Thousand and thousands of women’s profiles and ads where they superficially list those as the requirement to be allowed to even message them. Personality comes after messaging when you talk, so they have no interest in getting to know a guys personality unless he has car, job, home, and is attractive. Though they also just say have your life together which means the same thing as many have said have car, job, own place you know your life together. Apparently can’t have you’re life together if you take the subway or bus, man those millions of New Yorkers who are losers no lifers lol
Temeraire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Loner269 wrote:
It sure is interesting how a thread about not finding a girlfriend quickly became a weightloss-thread, like it's the most important thing in finding a girlfriend.
It’s one of 4 most important deal breakers.
What are the other three in your opinion?
Job
Car
Home
Looks
Then it’s about whether the mans personality and interests are a match
So it’s really two categories
Status-job,car,home
Looks-fitness,attractiveness
I would say personality is important and there are some interests that I would be wary of such as football fan.
But the others - all very unimportant.
I do have experience in relationships and I would say that if women are using you then tossing you away, what are you doing to contribute to this? Could it be anything to do with you way of thinking?
Welcome to the minority club for women who don’t care about mans status, have you met sweatleaf and hurtloam?, nurse angel will think your crazy and some other women on wp would agree.
I’m worthless man who thye dont see having a relationship with but they enjoy sexting and sexual teasing so they get me to do that then tell me I’m not good enough due to my job. I presume they started messaging a guy with job, car and home. They also admit they never found me attractive. As to what I do, I’m naive and fall for it every time. They take advantage of my naivety and high sex drive. I tried hard last time not to, next time I’ll have to put my foot down and say no to any sexual talk. But easier said now then when some lady’s sexually flirting with me.
Sexual stuff is emotional for me and clearly not for those women , it hurts me soot each time. Some pushed me for pictures:(
AngelRho wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I was overweight even when I had my first and so far only girlfriend. She was overweight as well but not like those disgusting fat acceptance types who can hardly move without their joints popping.
You had a gf?
Then you’re better off then me. You are dateable and loveable while I’m not.
Women’s only use for me is a temporary plaything they toss away when they get bored
Welcome to manhood, my brutha. We’ve been waiting for you!
Huh?
sly279 wrote:
Temeraire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Loner269 wrote:
It sure is interesting how a thread about not finding a girlfriend quickly became a weightloss-thread, like it's the most important thing in finding a girlfriend.
It’s one of 4 most important deal breakers.
What are the other three in your opinion?
Job
Car
Home
Looks
Then it’s about whether the mans personality and interests are a match
So it’s really two categories
Status-job,car,home
Looks-fitness,attractiveness
I would say personality is important and there are some interests that I would be wary of such as football fan.
But the others - all very unimportant.
I do have experience in relationships and I would say that if women are using you then tossing you away, what are you doing to contribute to this? Could it be anything to do with you way of thinking?
Welcome to the minority club for women who don’t care about mans status, have you met sweatleaf and hurtloam?, nurse angel will think your crazy and some other women on wp would agree.
I’m worthless man who thye dont see having a relationship with but they enjoy sexting and sexual teasing so they get me to do that then tell me I’m not good enough due to my job. I presume they started messaging a guy with job, car and home. They also admit they never found me attractive. As to what I do, I’m naive and fall for it every time. They take advantage of my naivety and high sex drive. I tried hard last time not to, next time I’ll have to put my foot down and say no to any sexual talk. But easier said now then when some lady’s sexually flirting with me.
Sexual stuff is emotional for me and clearly not for those women , it hurts me soot each time. Some pushed me for pictures:(
Sounds like you are playing their game by their rules - falling into a trap.
I would keep the sexual stuff for later on - when you have had at least a few dates.
Yes put your foot down and know you are worth more than being a play toy - use your energy wisely.
There are less superficial ladies out there and there is one there for you but you may need to change your approach. You sound like you already know what to do but find it difficult to put into practice.
It makes me laugh when I hear some women building an image of a man like a personal robot and then wondering where it all went wrong. I don't mind other women disagreeing with me - this is healthy. Yes some women want the fantasy and some of us are happy with the reality.
Relationships can be marvellous when we surround ourselves with the right kind of people. Relationships can also be hard to maintain. They can be painful at times but also the best thing in the world. They can be exhausting and exhilerating at the same time.
You are not worthless either.
RetroGamer87
Veteran

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,160
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Marknis wrote:
1. I am overweight and my body refuses to respond to exercise. I went to a gym from 2009 through 2014 but I still have a chubby belly, a double chin, fat breast tissue, love handles, and my buttocks are flabby. Oddly, my forearms are thin for a male. I was told constantly by the culture I live in as well as my family that women only liked men with muscle and I tried to achieve that but I failed to do so. I am pre-diabetic and that doesn't help things at all.
Have you tried using phentermine to lose weight?
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