Are we unable to intuitively know if we are in love?
ZachGoodwin wrote:
Autistics are not incapable of empathy. Autistics have a hard time expressing that they show empathy. I've seen a lot of empathetic people on this forum. Empathy is not some X-men ability, but instead it is trying to understand the other person's perspective in what they say, feel, see, hear, smell, and react. Helen Keller could be empathetic and she is unable to see or hear. The part of autism that clouds our empathy is social anxiety, so to fix this, we need to go outside and talk to people more. Talk to our family, friends, and more people. Want to know who has difficulty showing that they understand more so than autistics? Those with anti-social personality disorder.
If you want to express empathy more I advise autistics look at how people who have had worse conditions managed to speak their empathy to other people.
If you want to express empathy more I advise autistics look at how people who have had worse conditions managed to speak their empathy to other people.
Empathy is not th sam thing as caring, which we are capable of. And even when we "can empathize" it's not the same as how NTs can. It's more reactionary, we react to how we see people acting, without actually truly undersatansing what they're going through, in the same way that an NT does.
cato4797 wrote:
I'm starting to wonder if we're incapable of love though, due to our inability to empathize, (like actually empathize, not fake/pretend to, but with actual emotional involvement), and to love, due to an inability to have deep feelings/connection with another person.
You don't need to have empathy to experience emotions. Some people on the spectrum fall in love with people they've never spoken to, or fictional characters, or inanimate objects. Some actually hypothesize that the reason we have difficulty showing our emotions is because we feel them so much more deeply than an NT would.
Have you had other SOs that didn't have BPD?
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I'll brave the storm to come, for it surely looks like rain...
SabbraCadabra wrote:
cato4797 wrote:
I'm starting to wonder if we're incapable of love though, due to our inability to empathize, (like actually empathize, not fake/pretend to, but with actual emotional involvement), and to love, due to an inability to have deep feelings/connection with another person.
You don't need to have empathy to experience emotions. Some people on the spectrum fall in love with people they've never spoken to, or fictional characters, or inanimate objects. Some actually hypothesize that the reason we have difficulty showing our emotions is because we feel them so much more deeply than an NT would.
Have you had other SOs that didn't have BPD?
Falling in love with people you don't know is isn't love. Its obsession.
cato4797 wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
Autistics are not incapable of empathy. Autistics have a hard time expressing that they show empathy. I've seen a lot of empathetic people on this forum. Empathy is not some X-men ability, but instead it is trying to understand the other person's perspective in what they say, feel, see, hear, smell, and react. Helen Keller could be empathetic and she is unable to see or hear. The part of autism that clouds our empathy is social anxiety, so to fix this, we need to go outside and talk to people more. Talk to our family, friends, and more people. Want to know who has difficulty showing that they understand more so than autistics? Those with anti-social personality disorder.
If you want to express empathy more I advise autistics look at how people who have had worse conditions managed to speak their empathy to other people.
If you want to express empathy more I advise autistics look at how people who have had worse conditions managed to speak their empathy to other people.
Empathy is not th sam thing as caring, which we are capable of. And even when we "can empathize" it's not the same as how NTs can. It's more reactionary, we react to how we see people acting, without actually truly undersatansing what they're going through, in the same way that an NT does.
Trying to understand is better than not trying to understand. Even if the ways we try to understand makes us look dumb at least we tried. When I'm with my family and friends, I have the hardest time understanding what they are saying. I think I am always on guard in case they are being sarcastic towards me. I believe when I'm not on guard for sarcasm out of nowhere there is sarcasm. I get shocked that there was no honesty. I also think I may have looked crazy when I tried talking about my favorite films, philosophy, believes on religion, and many others; who hasn't?
Even if this post in trying to reach out to help you has failed, at least I tried.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,196
Location: Adelaide, Australia
I don't think I'll ever fall in love because it's very rare for me to find a compatible personality. This means that person with whom I have a compatible personality and the girl I happen to be dating at any given time will only be the same person by the sheerest of coincidences.
While I'm not unable to feel love, compatible personality is a fundamental requirement. For this reason I'm cursed to have a string of girlfriends I don't actually love.
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