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Piobaire
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09 Jan 2018, 6:50 pm

I vote 'Love Story'.

MissChess
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09 Jan 2018, 6:59 pm

Piobaire wrote:

I vote 'Love Story'.

I do too.

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Esmerelda Weatherwax
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09 Jan 2018, 7:39 pm

MissChess wrote:

Piobaire wrote:

I vote 'Love Story'.

I do too.

You guys, and nick007, and Kraichgauer, all cheer me up tremendously :-)

.

And yes, I know that's an unintended byproduct of your individual happinesses. In an odd way, that just makes it even better. It's like seeing snowdrops.

They neither know or care I'm there, but in all that cold, beauty flourishes!

(Now back to my evening's reading assignment.)

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MissChess
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09 Jan 2018, 7:46 pm

Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:

MissChess wrote:

Piobaire wrote:

I vote 'Love Story'.

I do too.

You guys, and nick007, and Kraichgauer, all cheer me up tremendously :-)

.

And yes, I know that's an unintended byproduct of your individual happinesses. In an odd way, that just makes it even better. It's like seeing snowdrops.

They neither know or care I'm there, but in all that cold, beauty flourishes!

(Now back to my evening's reading assignment.)

I feel the same way. I have to pull over sometimes because the view of the Cascades, or a sunset behind Mount Rainier, will take my breath away and since I can't stop looking at it...driving has to wait.

As a woman who started off with her newlywed husband so darned poor that church mice took up charitable collections for us...love can and does flourish in the cold, in the gutters, on far-flung horizons and right under our noses.

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hale_bopp
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09 Jan 2018, 9:11 pm

MissChess wrote:

Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:

:shrug:

Can't see the attraction in a worldview that ultimately considers everyone around me to be either an appliance to be used, or a patsy to be duped, but never an equal to be respected and loved.

Can't see any humanity in such an approach; only arid, solipsistic isolation.

But it's late; I'm tired; perhaps this will look different in the morning.

That’s how the world works and how most people see other humans.
It’s why men whow don’t make much or any money aren’t seen as dataable.

Oh, sly... I made twice as much money as my ex, and he never minded it for a minute. When I met his parents I found out that his mom had made at least three times what his dad did, all their married life. She worked for a big company, headed a department for them, and his dad was self-employed, he freelanced. They were totally happy. Growing up with that example, my ex never even blinked at my earning more than he did. I didn't care either; I adored the heck out of him. He was funny, kind, smart, he loved cats, he was good to me, he thought I was amazing. How could I not love him?

I'm 62 now. I met my ex in the early 1980s. His folks met and married in the 1940s; he was born in 1948, I was born in 1955. I know some things have changed a lot, but I hope it's still possible for a woman to love a man because he's lovable and loving, rather than because his wallet is fat. I really do. And I hope you'll find a woman who does.

I think it's both, and the way one sees it is heavily influenced by the way one sees other things.

Emotionally, my husband (who will be the first to tell you he's not perfect) is perfect for me. He's patient and tolerant of my quirks, foibles, and outright bizarre tendencies. He's gifted when it comes to Chess wrangling, and when I look at the world through the filter of his influence it's a much kinder, less confusing place.

If you view it as a transaction - he wanted someone to love. Someone to be his focus, his anchor, his best friend. Someone who would be there always, wanting what was best for him. I wanted the same, and we provide that for one another. Because our resources and goals are shared, by supporting his best interests I am in fact supporting my own, and the same applies to him. A cynic might see it as a mutually-assured destruction pact. A romantic might see it as a love story.

I see it as the way I want to spend the rest of my life.

That’s a lovely story. That’s awesome that you got to experience that.

My opinion is really just to protect me from my reality that noone gives a crap.

Your story is something that would be amazing for everyone to have - someone who cares.

MissChess
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09 Jan 2018, 9:29 pm

I wish that, having been so lucky as to have what I do, I was able to make it happen for someone else or at least offer ideas on how to make it more likely.

It seems the best I can do is try to hold out hope that people like us can have this.

Don't know if that helps or hurts, but my intent is positive.

I wish everyone all the :heart: and in the world.

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hale_bopp
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09 Jan 2018, 9:32 pm

MissChess wrote:

and

in the world.

You’re an amazing person. I look up to the older members here with more life experience. I really need to work on myself to achieve anyone caring. Thank you. :heart:

Tim_Tex
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09 Jan 2018, 10:09 pm

Piobaire wrote:

I vote 'Love Story'.

Which was supposedly about Al and Tipper Gore.

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auntblabby
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09 Jan 2018, 10:21 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:

Piobaire wrote:

I vote 'Love Story'.

Which was supposedly about Al and Tipper Gore.

didn't work out that well for them at the end. puts the lie to "love means never having to say you're sorry."

MissChess
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09 Jan 2018, 10:23 pm

auntblabby wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

Piobaire wrote:

I vote 'Love Story'.

Which was supposedly about Al and Tipper Gore.

didn't work out that well for them at the end. puts the lie to "love means never having to say you're sorry."

That one's a big lie, all right.

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Piobaire
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10 Jan 2018, 8:02 am

Quote:

It seems the best I can do is try to hold out hope that people like us can have this.

People like us can have this. Just because these skills don't seem to come to us intuitively doesn't mean we can't learn them. People like us just have to work harder at it; that's all.
Hell; if I can find a lover and develop a sustainable marriage, anybody can.

kraftiekortie
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10 Jan 2018, 1:12 pm

That's what my 8-year-old "girlfriend" told me when I was 9:

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Then we kissed under the swings.

It's from the movie "Love Story."

auntblabby
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10 Jan 2018, 11:50 pm

^^^^AWWwwwwwww.... :heart: how sweet :flower:

sly279
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11 Jan 2018, 12:44 am

Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:

That’s how the world works and how most people see other humans.
It’s why men whow don’t make much or any money aren’t seen as dataable.

I didn’t have s dad growing up. My mom was on government aid her whole life.
I don’t care how much a woman makes. So her making more then me doesn’t matter. However to most women a man making less then them is undateable. Most women will say they only date men who make the same or more then them. Most women date up not down. They call me a worthless loser.

My friends left once I was no longer useful to them. All I offer is love and companionship and what around the house work I can do. It’s not enough for most women and ones like you already got with someone. There’s lots of loser men for women who’ll date them. Not enough real men for the majority of women though.

Wish I could find a woman who wouldn’t care and would adore me.

Society has become way more superficial since you were born. Society today is all drivin by making rich people richer. They solve the idea that you have to be upper middle class to be successful and happy. And my generation swallowed it unquestionably and my nieces generation is even worse.

auntblabby
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11 Jan 2018, 12:58 am

I wasn't able to seriously give unhappiness the shove, until I learned to lower my expectations of life. :idea:

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