Wants to come over on first date?

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10 Jan 2018, 1:09 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I'm short-statured myself. I never had anybody tell me they thought I had a small penis.

I only had problems with my averaged-sized one once. This was with a woman who constantly HAD to have sex at least once a day. She was so wide that one could up put a whole fist "up there." My penis pales in comparison to my fist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zret7O8YoU

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Ichinin
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10 Jan 2018, 2:10 pm

I would never go home to someone on a first date. Few years ago, a guy went over to a girls place and thought he were about to score, he ended up being robbed by the girl and her boyfriend.

ALWAYS meet in public first and let the relationship develop first. Even if you're a guy.

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10 Jan 2018, 2:28 pm

Ichinin wrote:

ALWAYS meet in public first and let the relationship develop first. Even if you're a guy.

Good advice especially for naïve men. Sure women might not be as physically strong (although some stronger women could easily subdue me) but they can use weapons just as well as their male counterparts. Not to mention that they can use men to be the muscle for them or even create a fake profile and use a real woman as a front to get men to put their guard down. Such a thing happened recently in my city.

There was an episode of Seinfeld where George found out very quickly what can happen when you are alone with a woman you don't know. Have fun but don't forget to use both your brain and your instincts.

LittleCoyoteKat
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10 Jan 2018, 7:13 pm

FunkyPunky wrote:

Yeah that's not where I want things to go on the first date. IMO anyone who wants sex on the first date isn't looking for a serious relationship like she says.

That mentality is why I had sex on the first date, pretty much every time. Because invariably, if that's how a person thinks then that opinion will come tumbling out of their mouths pretty soon after, and it saved me a lot of time and heartache being able to find out who was going to judge me based on my sex life. However, a lot of people seem to think a first date goes hand in hand with unfamiliarity. I prefer to get to know the person, one on one, before any "dates" happen. Otherwise I'm wasting both our time.
I didn't have to look too long to find my Husband, who doesn't think like that. I'm grateful that we found each other, he's one of the most accepting and non-judgmental people I've ever known, with the most patience out of anyone I've met.

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goldfish21
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10 Jan 2018, 7:18 pm

FunkyPunky wrote:

Yeah that's not where I want things to go on the first date. IMO anyone who wants sex on the first date isn't looking for a serious relationship like she says.

Everyone is different. She may be the type that likes to "get it out of the way" & have sex ASAP if she's in the mood and then decide afterwards if she could see dating you long term. Many hookups turn into relationships that way.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Jan 2018, 7:24 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Kraftie, their reactions and what they say when see .... all
of me obviously reflected that their initial thoughts were opposite of what they actually saw.

hale_bopp
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14 Jan 2018, 2:04 pm

How did the date go??

sly279
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14 Jan 2018, 4:33 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

OP, I had sex with my current gf on the 2nd date.
And there was sex talk before the 1st date; we are fine lovers now.

FunkyPunky, you (and someone else) complained before that women always lose interest on first date. That they don’t feel “Chemistry” - I will tell you a secret: “Chemistry” is their gentle wordin of sexual arousal.

Do you know why they lose interest? do you want to hear it? I will tell you: because a woman won’t feel aroused while you two are sitting and having a coffee (even if you are smart and talking smart things) unless you are hot looking like Ben Affelk or Ryan Gosling. Otherwise.... down there, in her pants, nothing will move.

In my expetience, the most guaranteed way to assure “Chemistry” is early good sex.

ALL my first dates that started in a traditional and “civil” way have failed, despite them being very responsive in conversations.

And ALL the dates which happened after a sexual encounter (some eveb started with simply sexual talk online or on the phone) ended up as relationships/flings. Do you know why? Because you already become her fantasy subject even before dating her for real - the “Chemistry” toward you has already been released.

First Dates after sex/sexual talk are very different than the First Dates without any sexual thing before it; the latter case girls would seek for the slightest thing in you to judge you and dismiss you; if you are not hot as a celeb shr won’t fantasize about you, not even for a fraction of moment.
While in former case, and if the sexual experience was amazing; she already sees you as a sexual being, you’re already a real fantasy for her; and she would be way more likely to overlook your faults.

Here; I have finally exposed my secret! I have finally exposed my discovry of the female nature. Muhahah.

This is definitely true. If you can freely talk about sex, the awkwardness is gone.

In my experience early on sexual talk as ruined each potential match itnhappen with, and never lead to a date. Most women don’t want sexual talk until much much later it seems.

sly279
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14 Jan 2018, 4:35 pm

nurseangela wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Do you know why they lose interest? do you want to hear it? I will tell you: because a woman won’t feel aroused while you two are sitting and having a coffee (even if you are smart and talking smart things) unless you are hot looking like Ben Affelk or Ryan Gosling. Otherwise.... down there, in her pants, nothing will move.

The reason Ryan Gosling is hot? He's not afraid to show his feminine side. The guy knits. Put a couple of knitting needles in his hands and he'd be irresistible! :mrgreen:

I’m quite feminine and I can tell you most women don’t find men with feminine side attractive. They want manly men who are strung and drive big trucks.

sly279
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14 Jan 2018, 4:37 pm

modernmax wrote:

Let's look at it this way. You want a relationship. All she wants is sex. If the choice is between that or nothing, I'd rather just take the sex and move on, it's far better than nothing.

Not worth the argonising anxiety thst comes after in my opinion. But I have to much of a female perspective on sex it seems. Sex is emotional for me not so much physically.

ZachGoodwin
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14 Jan 2018, 4:37 pm

Edited

Last edited by ZachGoodwin on 14 Jan 2018, 4:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.

sly279
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14 Jan 2018, 4:40 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

GiantHockeyFan wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

ALL my first dates that started in a traditional and “civil” way have failed, despite them being very responsive in conversations.

And ALL the dates which happened after a sexual encounter (some eveb started with simply sexual talk online or on the phone) ended up as relationships/flings. Do you know why? Because you already become her fantasy subject even before dating her for real - the “Chemistry” toward you has already been released.

There is a fair bit of truth to what you say but I found the "sexual" first dates usually burned out as fast as they started, usually by date #3. Maybe I was a terrible lover but I doubt that: even my crazy ex when she started hating me after I dumped her still wanted me to .... you know... because I was so good at it.

On the other hand, with my last ex as soon as I got sexual on date #8 she started getting distant quickly and broke it off a couple of weeks later: I suspect she might be asexual as she literally spends all her free time with her best friend and they even bought a house together. As well, my now wife actually rejected me the first time I tried on date #6. I think it was date #10 or more before it went in that direction. Needless to say it was still a successful outcome despite the "failure".

In short, there are some universal truths (like most women love dominant men and are not attracted to passive guys) but everyone is different and one size does not fit all.

You're very tall and giant - so girls will assume you have a big dick and manly - so you can afford some more dates without anything sexual, they already see you in sexual way.

While in my case, I am very short and small statured so girls will assume I have a small dick and unmanly (and yes, this thought is very common among them) - when this is proven wrong on early stage then such false assumptions are shattered for good, and they would see me in a totally different light, they would see me a man and sexual being, they would no longer picture me as a little brother with little winnie.

In my experience my hieght and size has no effect on women seeing me as manly or sexually attractive.

FunkyPunky
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14 Jan 2018, 8:05 pm

I give up.

kraftiekortie
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14 Jan 2018, 8:08 pm

Why do you give up?

If you don't want sex, just tell her you would like to know her better.

FunkyPunky
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14 Jan 2018, 8:13 pm

I give up because the women worth having relationships with are already in relationships and the only ones left are the ones who like to poke you in the face while you're driving and say "I'm just messing with you!" when you ask them to stop.

I've been on tons of date and I haven't felt a single thing for any of them except for a desire to get away from them and go home. I'm obviously not built for love and and I'm tired of disappointing myself when I know from the beginning that things aren't going to work out.

I'm done.

Last edited by FunkyPunky on 14 Jan 2018, 8:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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14 Jan 2018, 8:23 pm

I hope you change your mind tomorrow.

You didn't have a good date with that woman?

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