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Possessive even though we're only friends

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angela8
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30 Jan 2018, 3:42 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
angela8 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
You're nothing like Mrs. Robinson. She was a b***h with a capital "B."

She was supposedly 38 in "The Graduate." Quite frankly, she looked much older than 38. More like 58. She smoked and drank. And she had no virtues, really, except her "seductiveness" (which wasn't very seductive to me).

That lady had problems galore!

I'm just speaking about the age difference. Thanks. My problem is that I'm too nice, also a turn off to men. Men like a challenge.


Being nice is not a turn off to men. You sound like a wonderful catch for the right man.

The only thing is people who seem too nice just need to be careful others don’t take advantage of them, which is a shame, as you don’t deserve it.


Thank you. I have to stop complimenting him and acting like a screwball teenager.


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kraftiekortie
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30 Jan 2018, 9:28 pm

Do you find men in their 50's stodgy?

I'm a man in my 50's---and I'm not stodgy. I'm rather youthful, in fact.



angela8
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30 Jan 2018, 9:43 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Do you find men in their 50's stodgy?

I'm a man in my 50's---and I'm not stodgy. I'm rather youthful, in fact.

You are youthful, sweet and very intelligent. Not all men in their 50s are stodgy. I'm very sad. This guy is so clueless as to how he's hurting me. I hate it.


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kraftiekortie
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30 Jan 2018, 10:09 pm

I'm sorry you're sad.

I know you wish you could tell the younger man the extent of your feelings.



angela8
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30 Jan 2018, 10:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm sorry you're sad.

I know you wish you could tell the younger man the extent of your feelings.


I may tell him tonight, but I don't know if he'll back away. Thank you for being so nice. The support on here has been comforting. I'm bipolar and overly emotional, so I'm crying my eyes out. Such is life. I wish I never met him.


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kraftiekortie
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30 Jan 2018, 10:39 pm

I wish he wasn't so possessive, though....

I've gone out with possessive women.

There was one who came to my job uninvited. I broke up with her that same day.



angela8
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30 Jan 2018, 10:55 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I wish he wasn't so possessive, though....

I've gone out with possessive women.

There was one who came to my job uninvited. I broke up with her that same day.


Possessive or not, the sad thing is that he doesn't seem to care that he hurts me.
It is disconcerting that a girlfriend would visit you at work unannounced.
Thanks for your response.


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30 Jan 2018, 10:58 pm

angela8 wrote:
whatamievendoing wrote:
Unless he does have romantic feelings towards you, that sounds like a massive red flag. And even if romantic feelings are involved, it's still a red flag as far as I'm concerned. I'd advise you to steer clear of him.


I think he's a bit of a loner. Most of his friends are online. I treat him very well; am very attentive and compliment him often. It's just upsetting because I want to be his girl, but he wants friendship.


If he has concerns about another guy it doesn't hurt to consider them and find out the source of his concerns, but he doesn't get to "keep you on the back burner" so to speak, meaning, he doesn't get to expect you to not date other men when he himself is not dating you.

When I was in my late teens or early 20s, one of my male friends, who had always had girlfriends and who's relationship with those girls I respected, became jealous once because he called and I wasn't home because I was out with another one of my male friends. I called him on his hypocritical BS of course. He does not get to have other friends and girlfriends but demand he be my only friend and I told him so.

He got over it then and there.