Posting in L&D that L&D is not for you

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314pe
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14 Mar 2018, 3:24 am

nick007 wrote:

314pe wrote:

Spiderpig wrote:

Yep, I guess the right thing for us would be complete social withdrawal, even online, to save everyone else the annoyance of knowing there are such pathetic excuses for human beings around, and give up for good on anything having to do with anyone else.

Why? Why not date other imperfect people? I personally enjoy being around people and I very much prefer being with imperfect people to being alone.

That's what I did. I never wanted a perfect person(except for my celebrity crush but Miranda's the one exception) cuz I figured I'd have more to offer an imperfect girl & am imperfect one would be more accepting & understanding of my issues. However it's been my experience that lots of imperfect women do not want an imperfect guy(or at least a guy who's as imperfect as me) but I'm sure there's lots of imperfect guys who are not interested in an imperfect girl.

Are you happier now or before?

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14 Mar 2018, 3:47 am

314pe wrote:

nick007 wrote:

314pe wrote:

Spiderpig wrote:

Why? Why not date other imperfect people? I personally enjoy being around people and I very much prefer being with imperfect people to being alone.

Are you happier now or before?

I'm aLOT happier within a realtionship even thou Cass isn't perfect, she's perfect for me :heart:

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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Mar 2018, 4:07 am

Who's Cass?

nick007
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14 Mar 2018, 4:38 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Who's Cass?

My girlfriend. Her SN on here is Casstranquility but she hasn't posted here in years.

Spiderpig
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14 Mar 2018, 5:38 am

314pe wrote:

Why? Why not date other imperfect people? I personally enjoy being around people and I very much prefer being with imperfect people to being alone.

I was answering hobojungle's comment:

hobojungle wrote:

Misery loves company.

Every time this truism is brought up, it's implied to be a bad thing. Therefore, I infer that you should avoid company if you're miserable, out of consideration for others. After all, if this makes you more miserable, it's your problem, not anyone else's.

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314pe
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14 Mar 2018, 5:47 am

Spiderpig wrote:

I was answering hobojungle's comment:

hobojungle wrote:

Misery loves company.

Humans (even aspies) are social animals. If they stay without company for a really long time, they will become miserable. Everybody needs company once in a while.

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14 Mar 2018, 7:48 am

So? I was talking, based on hobojungle's comment, about what you should do, not what you need. If needing something justified trampling any consideration towards others to get it, hungry people would be morally entitled to steal.

Kiprobalhato
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14 Mar 2018, 8:06 am

314pe wrote:

Spiderpig wrote:

Why? Why not date other imperfect people? I personally enjoy being around people and I very much prefer being with imperfect people to being alone.

the "imperfect people" i know would not be caught dead spending time around someone who wasn't "better" or more well-adjusted than themselves.

people don't like being reminded of their own flaws.

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hobojungle
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14 Mar 2018, 9:58 am

Spiderpig wrote:

I was answering hobojungle's comment:

hobojungle wrote:

Misery loves company.

Misery is part of the human condition. Humans experiencing misery may be comforted knowing they are not alone in suffering. Perhaps this is the reason for the posts in L&D the OP describes?

Canary
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14 Mar 2018, 10:40 am

Oftentimes people say something is when they only feel that it is. I think a lot of people who come here are frustrated about how things are going and want to vent, or for someone to prove them wrong about things being hopeless.

hobojungle
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14 Mar 2018, 1:43 pm

Canary wrote:

Oftentimes people say something is when they only feel that it is. I think a lot of people who come here are frustrated about how things are going and want to vent,

Agree.

Canary wrote:

or for someone to prove them wrong about things being hopeless.

Who am I to prove/disprove their experience? If they say their situation is hopeless, I accept it. It may or may not be true, but what do I know? Only my own experience, & I barely know that.

fluffysaurus
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14 Mar 2018, 5:17 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

There's also the very common 'I will give you an advice based on my gender dynamics, because what works for my gender must work 100% with the opposite sex too' - the worst part? It's often so wrong.

Certainly what works for one sex will not necessarily work for the other, but a person can only give advice and hope for the best. It's for the other person to judge whether that advice might work for them. We can only see through our own experiences not those of the opposite sex. To only give and receive advice from someone of the same sex would be quite limited. Some of the best advice I've had came from guys, on the other hand I've also had advice from guys who clearly thought that being female meant all you had to do was choose

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fluffysaurus
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14 Mar 2018, 5:19 pm

I think when you feel absolutely like s**t, the one thing that helps is knowing you are not alone.

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The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Mar 2018, 5:28 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:

cberg wrote:

I don't see how any of that is off topic. People in relationships vent about the everyday between each other all the time, why are you saying it's weird for singletons to do the same? Absent a SO to talk to we've still got the internet

I don't think this forum should alienate anyone, especially considering the terms of use nobody else reads. All kinds of people come here for help or encouragement but this just reinforces the same inequity we're all looking for relief from.

I'm not saying it's off-topic. I'm not saying it's weird. I'm not trying to alienate anyone.

I'd like to be able to offer my insight, help, advice, etc. to whoever I can. That's why I'm in here. When people post essentially that no advice will work, because nothing will work, then I'm genuinely curious as to why they have come here, an advice forum, to say that.

If I take it literally (which I try not to despite that being my default interpretation), then it seems like a shutdown, an indication that I should no longer engage in conversation with this person in this forum, because if there really is no hope then continuing to talk about it is surely fruitless.

But I don't want to just take what these people say at face value, because I suspect they don't really want to be ignored here. So instead I ask, what do they want?

I think you're just looking at it too literally. I'd venture a guess that 'it is hopeless' and 'it feels hopeless' are interchangeable as it relates to depressed single people's posts

sly279
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14 Mar 2018, 5:44 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:

314pe wrote:

Spiderpig wrote:

Why? Why not date other imperfect people? I personally enjoy being around people and I very much prefer being with imperfect people to being alone.

the "imperfect people" i know would not be caught dead spending time around someone who wasn't "better" or more well-adjusted than themselves.

people don't like being reminded of their own flaws.

So true. I’ve tried dating imperfect women they don’t want to date no perfect guys.
They wanted good looking men who have their life together. Just as I see many obese women demanding thin fit men. It would seem most people want what they themselves don’t have.

sly279
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14 Mar 2018, 5:49 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

That is what some people here would like us to do. We interfer with their world happiness.

Like some people Say “I wish those starving people in Africa would just shut up and die already so I can get on with my life.” Hearing about people less off then them is just irritating to them. Not saying anyone here thinks the above, but some have expressed they want us t Just shut up as it irritates them. Peopl would rather keep to their limited reality where everything is wonderful and great

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