"Fetishizing"/Not Attracted To Different Races & Ethnicities

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I hate to admit it, but Spiderpig has a point here, if people have the right to profess Heightism, Weightism, Lookism, Ableism, Religious discrimination, Classism.... and any kind of discrimination (under the umbrella term of 'Preferences') which happens in mate selection all the time, then Racism is as legit, no?

Actually it's genetically inclined to find members of your own race more attractive than different races. Pairing with someone of your own race increases the chance of you passing your genes to next generation and reduces the risk of pregnancy issues. It is proven most marriages have more genes in common than an average pair of random strangers although less than siblings (which is also genetically inclined - if someone is genetically too close to you it increases risk of pregnancy issues again).

Therefore being attracted to different race can be considered a fetish, something unusual. Preferring partners your own race is normal.

Just saying.

BTW. I am attracted to asian people despite being white. I wonder - is it because I don't want to pass my genes, because most Polish males are idiots or because I am 1/16 asian?

Well to be clear I am not saying having a preference is racist, I am saying outright refusing to date anyone outside your race/ethnicity just because of their race/ethnicity is racist. Like if you met someone outside your ethnicity that you find attractive and won't date them because they aren't the same race.

I mean is someone a hairist, if they have a preference for blonde hair for instance? probably not...but maybe if they wouldn't even consider dating someone with another color of hair.

Like if your reason to turn down a date is literally I don't date 'insert race' people. Also a good amount of people especially in the U.S are mixed ethnicity, including me I have european and native american ethnicity. So even if I wanted to 'stick to my own' how would I even go about doing that? Not sure I'd have a boyfriend if I had been searching for an exact ethnicity match.

I don’t know what that conclusion is based on, but it can only be true to the extent that whatever concept of race current in your culture matches some significant genetic difference. For example, this should make some people of African descent find more attractive those from anywhere else in the world than those coming from some other parts of Africa. Are you sure we’re not just wired not to find very attractive those who look too different in some vague way?



How so?



I can only imagine that being a factor if the partners are dramatically different in body size or shape.



However, marriage usually involves quite a bit more than mere sexual attraction, and it depends a lot on culture. If there are insular groups of people who will rarely marry outsiders, of course the average couple will be more genetically similar than a random pair of strangers.



If I remember correctly, the reason we don’t usually find siblings sexually attractive has very little to do with genetics. We don’t tend to find attractive anyone of our own generation we were very close to as small children, even if they’re not related to us, and, conversely, siblings estranged from a very early age do often find each other attractive if they meet as adults unaware of the other person’s origins.



No more than homosexuality, at any rate.

This is... bullcrap?

Why then many Black / East Asian literally chased me on dating apps?

I am 100% with the OP.

This has been a RAGING topic of debate in the gay community over the last year or two. So many articles and videos about it. Stuff about race as well as body types and masculine/feminine presenting people etc and a sort of a movement of universal acceptance of all appearances, body types, races, sizes, shapes, types, ages, serotypes etc.

Yeah, okay, that's fine.. if you're someone who is genuinely attracted to any/all people and you don't have certain physical criteria that turn you on, good for you, enjoy the entire variety if you like. But for me? I'm someone who's wired to have a type. A look, an age range, a body type.. and ideally even hair colour. I can acknowledge when other guys, or girls, outside of my particular type are conventionally attractive people, they just don't particularly turn me on is all.

Some have made the argument that these things we feel are hard wired within us are actually learned from a lifetime of exposure to society, TV/media/movies, even books etc and that it is in fact learned behaviour and preferences vs. innate. Maybe there's some truth to that.. and even if so, it doesn't change one bit which people turn me on and which ones don't. So, basically, I stay out of the debates as much as possible online and elsewhere to avoid appearing like one of "those guys," and being accused of basing my preference on popular porn genres or any other such BS besides what makes my own dick hard. Especially since my "type," is what's considered by many to be the "idealistic," preference based on their prevalence in gay porn searches. Ironically, I don't even watch porn, AND, I've been told by multiple sources that this particular type is largely ignored in my geographical area. (which is FANTASTIC for my sex life, btw.) The debates tend to be online and include many areas outside of the major city I live near. *shrug* Whatever, the universal acceptance types can hookup with each other all they want. I'll just continue doing as I do & enjoying myself for it.

Of course being genetically inclined to find members of the own race more attractive wouldn't mean actually sequencing your partners genome and deciding if you like the amount of difference. Of course this attraction would be based on looks, smell and other factors that depend on genetics not on the exact genetic difference. People won't actually consciously think about genetic difference, they'll just respond to cues about genetic difference by either finding someone more or less attractive.
There have been studies that showed that women prefer the smell of men who are neither too similar nor too different to themselves. It was actually at least two such experiments and at least in one they couldn't see the man. They did not know his skin color. Still, they preferred the smell of their own race.
I have never heard about any research about whether or not people in Africa prefer people from their region over people from another but they might. They don't necessarily smell the same (this is partly subconscious) or look the same.
It is also not necessarily exact (like you said they'd need to prefer all others over a distant black group). It works based on visible or otherwise perceptible traits, not on exact sequence difference. Evolution can only make you discriminate based on things you can actually perceive.
And of course it is not the only thing by which people decide who or which race to date. They may be more attracted to a particular race e.g. because they associate some traits with it (like white men - rich; east Asian women - more feminine etc.).


I don't know anything about that specifically but you might imagine pregnancy to be a biologically more simple thing than it is. For example the mother's immune system must not attack the fetus. If you transplant a piece of tissue from a random person into your body your immune system will likely kill it quickly which gives you an inflammation. This must not happen during pregnancy therefore the mother's immune reaction has to be changed in such a way that it won't. As far as I know this is one of the reasons why many pregnant women feel sick during a specific time of early pregnancy. I don't know if that's what Kiriae was talking about and I don't know anything about the effect of racial differences on pregnancy issues, so all I say here is pure speculation but if there's such a risk it is probably not due to the baby being too big but due to immune system or other things happening on a molecular level.



That we don't find someone we grew up with sexually attractive is genetic. Again, we do not actually sequence our DNA and compare it, but it works based on information we could already have before genome sequencing was available. If someone was sexually attracted to a person who was not their sibling the chances of producing healthy children was higher. If you are not attracted to a person you grew up with your chances of mating with a sibling are a lot lower. That's enough for a preference against people you grew up with to evolve and it's enough to make people a lot less likely to mate with their sibling.

I don’t think I’ve ever come across an ethnicity where I’ve found absolutely no one attractive. It might happen, but it hasn’t yet.

I’ve never met a nordic male with a personality I like, but that isn’t an ethnicity, and it’s not to say they don’t exist. Easten Europeans, same thing applies.

And that's absolutely fine. I guess some people's preferences are quite specific though.

Sorry if this will appear pedantic of me but that affirmation is totally incorrect. Determination of orientation at birth still hasn't reached a scientific consensus.



In that regard I will speak for me only. I am turned on most above all by white women, the whiter the better, and bonus points go if she's got freckles or red hair. Nevertheless I would never reject a good partner for being Asian, Black or whatever the skin tone. Personality, wit, kindness, talent ... all of this come first. This could be understood as a conscious choice because no matter what ethnicity seems to attract me the most, I would still prefer a good woman over a bad one and disregard the skin tone entirely.

In fact, looking back, from all my ex-girlfriends, the white and stunningly beautiful ones were the worst. Besides I also remember that I became increasingly attracted to my girlfriends as time passed and the relationship seemed to evolve. On the other hand, I became disinterested rapidly as soon as the partner revealed herself to be a lot of needless trouble - and that never had anything to do with the ethnicity. It's true though that I have rejected women before because I couldn't feel attracted to them, but again it never had anything to do with race.

There are people who are never attracted to a certain ethnicity at all, or have an exclusive attraction to one specific race and so on. If this can be seen as some sort of fetish and maybe it is, I can't see why people like that should be criticized, marginalized or chastised about such a thing as long as their preferences remain harmless and within limits of consensual respect. I mean for one, stalking Asian females by the night is as much of a crime as doing that to any others.

Where did I ever say I thought sexuality was determined at birth? That's not what I believe. All I said was an individual does not choose their own sexuality. Your assertion of what I said is what's incorrect.

You being more attracted to women with pale skin is not a conscious choice. You not rejecting people of any particular race because they still align with your standards or preferences is also probably not a conscious choice. You choosing to reject people due to a lack of attraction to them, still not a conscious choice. If you discovered through the course of your life that you had an extremely high tendency to not be attracted to a specific race or ethnicity looks-wise because the features you deem to be attractive tend to be absent from that race, that's not a conscious choice either.

What would be a conscious choice is deciding that you wanted no part in an interracial relationship, not because you're never attracted to other etnlhnicities but because you deem interracial relationships to be wrong.

If you're not attracted to someone, you're not attracted to them. If you find you're seldom attracted to people of a specific ethnicity, same thing. If you find that you're only attracted to members of your own ethnicity then there might be some racism at play, but I believe that if you're willing to date outside your race and have seen members of other releases you deem attractive, BUT there is a certain race or races who pretty much never line up with your physical ideals of a partner, I don't think racism can apply.

You say you like women who have pale skin. What if that was the only kind of woman that appealed to you, or if they appealed to you in a much stronger fashion than the rest? You probably wouldn't be in a rush to date someone from Nigeria.

So ok, how exactly do you think someone's sexuality is determined then?

Through a combination of genetic predisposition and environmental stimuli and experiences. It's certainly not a choice.

i'm of hispanic extraction and all my life i've had crushes and love interests in white females exclusively. i've just never been particularly attracted to hispanic girls....they remind me a lot of my family (at least all those i met) and that feels weird in a partner. when speaking spanish, especially. there's nothing attractive about my family i think.


not sure what's up with that, but a lot of my cousins around my age feel the same way. (and i do have many cousins, hispanic as i said)


OR:


maybe i subconsciously see myself as white???????

The part after the 'OR'..me 'of Hispanic extraction' myself..as 'complicated' as Hispanic cultural geography is..have you found yourself (unwittingly perhaps) 'embracing' the 'whiter' side of Hispanic culture..I ponder about that when I look into literary culture with say Jorge Luis Borges or Roberto Bolano..Argentina and Chile arguably are more embracing of the 'European side' of things than say Mexico or Peru are..goodness knows how in the Caribbean doing that has consistently been an issue for the regional black culture as Junot Diaz could probably speak to.

To quote my dad '..some mestizo people think they're white'..which is something which I never really identified with and goodness knows how it lead to an 'exploration' of sorts for me when I was little, even though I'm light skinned and could probably pass for 'full Caucasian' if the significance of mestizaje weren't always on my mind.

Goodness knows how even 'Anglo- based' white culture can scrutinize itself and put effort to differentiate itself from other European based cultures, not the least ones in the Eastern part and around the Mediterranean.

..maybe I'm 'overanalyzing that one part(?)

Interesting how you say that about being attracted to 'white females'..lately it's been a somewhat recent thing, that I'm still trying to make sense of that for the first time since like 'before puberty' I'm into (Anglo-/'white) Canadian women again..

and am stepping out of 'fetishizing' Hispanic women..interesting how when it comes to 'fetishizing' other groups both 'Anglo- based' and Hispanic culture have uncomfortable track records of doing that with black culture..goodness knows how it overlaps the history of objectification via slavery.

Tbh (I'll admit to some extent the media hasn't helped) I've never been quite attracted to black women..and my lack of comfort around (English speaking/'arguably Anglo- based') black culture has been a factor in this I admit but it never an issue of me thinking of them as inferior. The demographics at a call center I previously worked at helped alleviate that and imo it's increasingly coming off to me that when it comes to 'personality' and/or 'attitudes' (not exagerrated by the media), black ppl are 'attractive' in that respect as far as socialability goes..

When it comes to how 'arrogance' is expressed as parts/components of a 'colective inferiority complex' within an ethnic group and when it comes to Italians and the overlap with Catholicism though.."-_- ..that I admit is a 'trigger point' for me.

And genetic predisposition wouldn't be the same as saying that it's determined from birth? Plus, you're either saying that there's enough evidence to sustain that what we call free-will is actually determined from genetic disposition and Pavlovian stimuli ... or that people have no freedom to choose their own experiences and/or interpret them in an entirely different way from someone else. Added to that yet, you started the thread by stating that there was no shade of doubt about what you said, though later you would add that it's what you believe.

Whatever you believe, you have no evidence to support your claims. Don't go telling something you believe in is "pretty well established". Besides, I *chose* to reply to you because *your* post seemed defensive and maybe I could clarify something.

Can you see why people can't sympathize with your problems? You make little sense and *you* are defensive thus projecting your anxiety to others. Say whatever you want henceforth, I am leaving this thread. I don't care.