Not sure what to do at this point...

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It's good she agreed to go to therapy.
She seems enormously insecure, with self-image issues... you can also adress this on marriage counselling. I believe it's sort of intended as a safe environment for the couple to tell each other what they feel.

I'm not sure I'd label her as a personality disorder, as others have suggested. What occurs to me is that she's very immature. And you have been her enabler in not growing up.

I doubt you'll be able to change this dynamic, and even if it were possible, it would be an enormous undertaking.

People with autism typically do lag behind the norm in emotional and social maturity, but some of us do eventually catch up. My concern about your wife is that there is zero motivation to do so in the current relationship.

I had a couple of different therapists observe that I might need to divorce my (first) husband, because of his inability to mature into the marriage role. I didn't take their advice at the time, but eventually that's exactly what I did. My second marriage has been happy and successful, and my main regret is that I didn't leave the first marriage sooner - although with two children, I did what I thought was best, at the time.

You might want to take a critical look at yourself and ask what you are getting out of the situation, that keeps you from taking the obvious step and divorcing her. Might be fear of not being able to find love again, for instance, or something else. Anyway, instead of focusing on your wife, try focusing on yourself and why you are remaining stuck in the status quo. Good luck.