Sleeping with someone who's in a relationship

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She’s not satisfied with her relationship. You are in effect an enabler and a predator, and you have some deeper issues going on if you’re hunting IAR girls for sport. And you are rationalizing. You can’t put that on us. You are behaving badly and blaming the victim for the pressure you’re putting on her.

I was the same way at one point in college. I “stole” my wife from her ex. I came close to sleeping with one girl who was engaged and actually did go through with it with another. And another girl had just broken up with her fiancé was saving herself for marriage...after I comforted her that night, well, she didn’t have to worry about THAT anymore. There was another IAR girl that didn’t go that far, but I think she would have gone for it. She was dating a friend of mine, plus this freshman guy that I’d been mentoring had a severe crush on her and lost a lot of respect for me after all that blew up, whereas the ex-bf was actually afraid of me and relieved when she fessed up and dumped him.

Not meaning to brag, and I’m not proud of my checkered past. I’m being honest, and those things do NOT reflect positively on me. Your problem is the same problem we all have: you’re being selfish. The difference is the kinds of things I did and what you’re doing is destructive. I hope you see that, and soon.

Funny thing about girls: you can’t really conquer a girl’s heart, mind, soul, and body unless she purposefully surrenders them to you. Men always get a bad rap for seduction and the old pump-and-dump routine, but girls are just as bad. I was wrong for what I did. But those girls wouldn’t have put up with it if they weren’t unhappy with their relationships already. They were using me a lot more than I used them. In two of those situations I walked away first because I could see nothing good would come of it. But if I’d stayed around long enough to bust them up, they’d have dumped me as soon as they were done with me.

This girl is liable to dump you as soon as she gets rid of her bf. You’re just a little something new and fun on the side, but these little ONS flings eventually die away and leave everyone involved empty and wanting something else. You might be a regular Don Juan right now, but you’ll die lonely if you try to keep it up.

I wouldn't give a damn about it all if you weren't so bitter about your ex's infidelity.

You are like a pacifist selling weapons to warring countries. Yes, you didn't start this war, you despise it and everyone knows if you didn't sell them weapons, someone else would.
Technically right but what kind of a pacifist does it make of you?

Or like a drug dealer who claims that it's his clients' problem that they are stupid to buy his stuff.

If you didn't believe in exclusive relationships, I would have no problem with the story. But your claiming infidelity is morally wrong and then agreeing to take part in it makes you just hypocritical.

As I've already clarified, she was the one who invited me over. She is not a victim my friend, not even in the slightest.

ONS flings is my goal for the time being. I'm more or less just practicing my flirting skills with any girl I happen to find attractive, I'm not specifically hunting down girls who are already in relationships.

Hefner – maybe but I'm not so sure about all the elderly rockmen and their groupies. I guess it's mainly attractiveness of social status.

And for the "true alphas"... I once came across a graphics describing some lizards mating strategies.

I'm pretty sure humans are capable of inventing even more competing strategies.

Ok, but she’s in a relationship. She wouldn’t have invited you over if neither she nor her relationship were vulnerable. You could have refused. You ended up taking advantage of the situation, and yes, that does make her a victim to an extent.

Could be she’s just using you. I’ve never been very comfortable in either situation. It’s like, ok, I had fun, but this was never meant to be an ongoing thing, so I’m making my exit before I or someone else ends up dead. Every single time I’ve been down that road an emotional attachment developed, and that can do a lot of harm to someone.

Note that I’m not looking out for the (ex)bf in this situation. I’m more concerned about my safety and hers.

I will say this, though. I understand ONS is where you want to be right now. But if she’s up for cheating, it’s likely she could be on the market soon. The other thing is “once...always.” If pump-and-dump is in her relational vocabulary, you might find yourself on the business end yourself. Been there, done that, too. Not fun.

I understand you aren’t on the hunt for IAR girls, but you do show predatorial tendencies. That kind of thing never ends well. You’d do well to break the pattern now.

Ok, but she’s in a relationship. She wouldn’t have invited you over if neither she nor her relationship were vulnerable. You could have refused. You ended up taking advantage of the situation, and yes, that does make her a victim to an extent.

Could be she’s just using you. I’ve never been very comfortable in either situation. It’s like, ok, I had fun, but this was never meant to be an ongoing thing, so I’m making my exit before I or someone else ends up dead. Every single time I’ve been down that road an emotional attachment developed, and that can do a lot of harm to someone.

Note that I’m not looking out for the (ex)bf in this situation. I’m more concerned about my safety and hers.

I will say this, though. I understand ONS is where you want to be right now. But if she’s up for cheating, it’s likely she could be on the market soon. The other thing is “once...always.” If pump-and-dump is in her relational vocabulary, you might find yourself on the business end yourself. Been there, done that, too. Not fun.

I understand you aren’t on the hunt for IAR girls, but you do show predatorial tendencies. That kind of thing never ends well. You’d do well to break the pattern now.

To my mind, you guys are the ones rationalizing here. You're taking the responsibility off of her, as if she is a victim... Would you even say the same thing if the genders were reversed? I find it repulsive. She is in a relationship for gods sake! It is her responsibility to guard her own relationship.

I am sure you would have sex with a taken hot girl who's rubbing her boobs on your face, while asking you for a f-ck.

What is it you expect to gain from sleeping with women who you know are in a relationship exactly?

Yes women should not sleep with men they know are in a relationship either. Sure its his responsibility to be faithful in his relationship, but her knowledge that she is already in a relationship should tell her that he's probably not the person she should have sex with.

What is it you expect to gain from sleeping with women who you know are in a relationship exactly?

Yes women should not sleep with men they know are in a relationship either. Sure its his responsibility to be faithful in his relationship, but her knowledge that she is already in a relationship should tell her that he's probably not the person she should have sex with.

What is it you expect to gain from sleeping with women who you know are in a relationship exactly?

Sex?

And another girl had just broken up with her fiancé was saving herself for marriage...after I comforted her that night, well, she didn’t have to worry about THAT anymore.