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All the socialization tips thrown here don't really work...

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The_Face_of_Boo
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31 May 2018, 5:13 am

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Plane example probably doesn't fit for this thread but perhaps for the one where you doubted strangers chat each other up in public.


It doesn't even fit the 'strangers chat each other up in public' - planes are safe and cosy monitored by stewardesses and crew. And you're sitting next to someone for hours; also people are often in 'touristic' mood on planes.

It's not the same as in the street or in a crowded dirty bus or subway and everyone is in hurry mode.



yellowtamarin
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31 May 2018, 5:18 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
Plane example probably doesn't fit for this thread but perhaps for the one where you doubted strangers chat each other up in public.


It doesn't even fit the 'strangers chat each other up in public' - planes are safe and cosy monitored by stewardesses and crew. And you're sitting next to someone for hours.

It's not the same as in the street or in a crowded dirty bus or subway.

Yep, I was waiting for that. So you do think strangers chat each other up in public, just only places considered safe and long-term. Surely it's not such a stretch to believe it could happen at a bus stop too.



green0star
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31 May 2018, 8:39 am

Wanna learn how to socialize, go back and play Persona 4 xD I never had to work so hard to maintain social links before in my life ...



SaveFerris
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31 May 2018, 11:07 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Your final post’s relevancy score: 0/6.


I'm glad i'm still maintaining a nearly 100% record of not making relevant posts.


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kraftiekortie
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31 May 2018, 11:09 am

I've received "socialization tips" throughout my life. Some of them have worked.

Relevancy score--6/6.



The_Face_of_Boo
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31 May 2018, 12:46 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I've received "socialization tips" throughout my life. Some of them have worked.

Relevancy score--6/6.



Hey! You can’t score your own posts!



Peacesells
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31 May 2018, 2:23 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I've received "socialization tips" throughout my life. Some of them have worked.

Relevancy score--6/6.



Hey! You can’t score your own posts!

Kraftie can always score.



rdos
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31 May 2018, 3:03 pm

Fnord wrote:
"Love at first sight" is a myth. Love takes time.


No, it is not. It's a reality.

The infatuation that can be created at first sight is replaced with an attachment over time (a few years), but infatuation is not any less than an attachment. Both can be considered as love. Actually, an infatuation is a lot more intense than an attachment.

If anything, for NDs, I question that something that didn't start with an infatuation actually is real love. Sounds more like a close friendship, FWB, or a commodity-situation.



Last edited by rdos on 31 May 2018, 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SaveFerris
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31 May 2018, 3:05 pm

Peacesells wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I've received "socialization tips" throughout my life. Some of them have worked.

Relevancy score--6/6.



Hey! You can’t score your own posts!

Kraftie can always score.


and score his own posts :lol:


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The_Face_of_Boo
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31 May 2018, 3:19 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I've received "socialization tips" throughout my life. Some of them have worked.

Relevancy score--6/6.



Hey! You can’t score your own posts!

Kraftie can always score.


and score his own posts :lol:


...with his left hand.



HistoryGal
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01 Jun 2018, 12:48 am

Infatuation isn't love. It's lust and that wears off and you have bupkus if you didn't develop any substance to your relationship.

Relationships that revolve around "when are we going to boink again?"-have little staying power. Love is a whole other ballgame beyond bumping genitals.



rdos
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01 Jun 2018, 3:37 am

HistoryGal wrote:
Infatuation isn't love. It's lust and that wears off and you have bupkus if you didn't develop any substance to your relationship.

Relationships that revolve around "when are we going to boink again?"-have little staying power. Love is a whole other ballgame beyond bumping genitals.


Infatuation has nothing to do with sex and lust. It's dating and typical people's bonding with sex that is all about "bonking".



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01 Jun 2018, 7:23 am

The problem with all these "meet people at X" posts is they don't take into account if you're somebody (like me) who absolutely nobody is ever interested in. If I really push for it I can become shallow peripheral "friends" with people, but I can never have a close bond, neither platonic or romantic.

All meeting more people will do is get me attached to people who won't have the slightest interest in me. I'm tired of being worthless. Being lonely by yourself hurts a lot less than being lonely in a crowd.



Peacesells
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01 Jun 2018, 7:41 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
The problem with all these "meet people at X" posts is they don't take into account if you're somebody (like me) who absolutely nobody is ever interested in. If I really push for it I can become shallow peripheral "friends" with people, but I can never have a close bond, neither platonic or romantic.

All meeting more people will do is get me attached to people who won't have the slightest interest in me. I'm tired of being worthless. Being lonely by yourself hurts a lot less than being lonely in a crowd.

I absolutely quote all of this, except that I am equally lonely when I am alone and when I am in a crowd.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Jun 2018, 8:03 am

yellowtamarin wrote:

I'm not objectively "very good looking".


I saw your photo before; you can't bluff me on that.

I recall you look like an actress who I can't recall her name now.

Anyway, forget about romance and dates because there's the looks effect here too, were you ever able to make FRIENDS with the SAME sex through Meetup or other activities WITHOUT the intervention of a mutual friend? (lesbians and opposite sex are excluded because most likely they have other motifs)



yellowtamarin
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01 Jun 2018, 8:18 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Anyway, forget about romance and dates because there's the looks effect here too, were you ever able to make FRIENDS with the SAME sex through Meetup or other activities WITHOUT the intervention of a mutual friend? (lesbians and opposite sex are excluded because most likely they have other motifs)

Yes.
It's rare, because I struggle to make friends, especially female ones. So NTs would do it more often than me. But I have managed it. For example, I made a female friend at a magic show Meetup. We sat next to each other, got chatting, and I invited her to a social gathering I was organising that weekend. She came along and we became friends.