My Relationship

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IsabellaLinton
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29 Mar 2019, 5:05 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I doubt that he's coming to California to work----I just don't sense it.

Not many people can afford to visit California for a month of hotels, restaurants, cars and sight seeing. Even when I go I stay with friends or family because the accommodation is so dear. I'm not sure why he's decided to do a month if he can't afford it.

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Kitty4670
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29 Mar 2019, 7:31 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:

Kitty4670 wrote:

AnneOleson wrote:

fluffysaurus wrote:

Kitty4670 wrote:

AnneOleson wrote:

Is he going to be working while visiting or spending it all with you?

He should work to get more money, it’s expensive staying in a hotel & he need money to get home to UK.

He probably won't be allowed to work while he is in the US unless he has a work visa. Also to be allowed into the US

he will need to have enough money for the length of his stay and to get home again. These are the requirements for

people coming to the UK and I doubt the US is more relaxed. Ask him if he has these other wise he is likely to get

stopped at immigration.

That’s how it works in Canada too. If he was coming for work meetings or to attend a conference he wouldn’t need a permit most likely. I don’t remember what country he lives in or what his citizenship is though and that could make a difference. They will want to be sure that he can afford to support himself while visiting and may ask for proof that he will be leaving, for example he will need a round trip ticket and may need to prove he has a permanent address back home.

He lives in UK, he’s working in Asia now. Can they really stop people if you have the wrong color skin?

It sounds like he is experienced at traveling/working in other countries so he probably know the rules already.

They don't stop people based on skin colour but everyone makes assumptions about other people based on the

way they come across and skin colour is going to be part of that. He's more likely to be prejudged on nationality

though. Do you know what nationality he is?

He was born in France then he moved to UK, he still goes back to France to see his daughter.

Kitty4670
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29 Mar 2019, 7:57 pm

Map84 wrote:

Hi Kitty,
if he's British and you're in the USA as I understand what you've said, then don't stress about customs and immigration. It's a walk in the park.

Airbnb is a site which offers accommodation, not in hotels but in private homes for short term rentals. You can have the property all to yourself, it is typically about 60% of the price of a hotel room in my experience, and it's great picking the location. It's very safe and is a large company that has operated around the world for many years.
Check it out by visiting airbnb.com and picking your location to see what's on offer, you'll be glad you did

I never heard of Airbnb.

The Grand Inquisitor
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29 Mar 2019, 8:11 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I doubt that he's coming to California to work----I just don't sense it.

He might be expecting that kitty will let him stay with her. Still, it would seem suspicious that he just so happens to get to work right near kitty (in the same state/city?) for a month and can also afford it. It all seems quite suspicious.

Kitty4670
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29 Mar 2019, 8:21 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

It's true. Lodging becomes very expensive once you spend more than a week vacationing/visiting.

Airbrb would probably be a good choice in this instance.

Be aware of signs that this guy will want to establish "lodgings" with you. He might say something like "I'm your boyfriend; why shouldn't I stay in your home?"

What is lodging?

IsabellaLinton
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29 Mar 2019, 8:24 pm

"Lodgings" means a place to sleep, such as a hotel, inn, airbnb or holiday let.

If some stranger flew halfway around the world and expected to stay in my house I'd call the police, even if I knew him or her from video chats. It's not safe kitty. We've all warned you many times that he will need to have lodgings elsewhere. I don't think he should go to your house at all, or know the address. Let the entire visit happen and conclude before you make decisions that risk your privacy.

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Kitty4670
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29 Mar 2019, 11:18 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

IsabellaLinton wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I doubt that he's coming to California to work----I just don't sense it.

We talked about where he is staying he staying in a hotel & he won’t be working, I talked to him,he spending the whole time with me. I asked him he should postpone coming to USA so he could get more money, he will probably need around $3,000 or$4,000 I don’t know. I will talk to him again.

Kitty4670
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29 Mar 2019, 11:21 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

He is not staying with me, he staying in a hotel, maybe an airbnb would be better.

IsabellaLinton
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29 Mar 2019, 11:26 pm

Kitty,
I don't know where you are in CA but I was just doing the math. I would estimate that he'll need closer to $10K USD for a month of hotels, cars and gas (or Ubers), two or three meals a day for himself or both of you, entertainment, travel insurance, etc. That sounds really high but that's about $300USD per day. I have family in CA and I've been there many times so I know the costs. I stay with friends and family. My brother goes and stays at hotels with his fiancée and even low-average hotels are about $200 a night.

We are all just worried he will arrive, tell you he's broke, and ask to stay at your house. Don't let that happen.

I see a huge red flag. Even if he's a good person this type of relationship will be cost-prohibitive (too expensive).

He should come for a week instead of postponing the trip. That would be much cheaper.
Meet him and let him leave. Then decide on your next steps.

PS
If I overestimated on the cost that's fine. He needs to have "extra" money, instead of counting every penny and being worried about how to eat every day. He should have that safety net.

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fluffysaurus
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30 Mar 2019, 3:31 am

Kitty4670 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

IsabellaLinton wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I doubt that he's coming to California to work----I just don't sense it.

This sounds better, I'm gad you were able to talk to him about these things. Since he is an experienced traveler he

will look into how much he's going to need before visiting.

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Luhluhluh
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30 Mar 2019, 6:40 am

Kitty4670 wrote:

Be very careful. If he asks you for money, don't give it to him.

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kraftiekortie
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30 Mar 2019, 7:03 am

If he asks you to marry him, say no.

Map84
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30 Mar 2019, 7:23 am

I doubt someone with French(and possibly British) citizenship is trying to move to the USA to take advantage of nationalities or benefits.
It is a long time to stay without working (unless he can use a pc to work remotely), maybe he's very wealthy?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Mar 2019, 7:41 am

Frankly, I think almost everyone here is suspecting that he may be a scam, but they don't want to hurt your feelings Kitty.

I would say, play along and see where it goes, but never give money, or Credit card info or any of this sort.

IsabellaLinton
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30 Mar 2019, 10:32 am

I messaged my brother about a month in So Cal. He goes once a year.

Reply:

"If you stay in hotels, and have an average car and food at average restaurants, one day is about $500 USD. That's a normal car, average restaurants, and general but clean accommodation with nothing fancy. Maybe a hundred less ($400 USD) if you have a very basic and potentially nasty motel".

500 x 30 = $15 000
400 x 30 = $12 000

This is all on top of the flights and health insurance.

Map84 - I don't think he's "very wealthy". Kitty said he's having trouble affording his plane fare to get home, and that they're trying to figure out how he can afford his stay.

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kraftiekortie
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30 Mar 2019, 12:15 pm

I’ve known people from the U.K. to do exactly that, believe it or not.

They have the erroneous notion that the US is paved with gold.

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