"Just be friendly."

Post Reply New Topic

I agree with the people that said your therapist was out of line. Such advice would be forgivable from a friend, but is unacceptable from a trained professional.

Different woman respond to different approaches and different men are successful with different approaches.

What the heck are you talking about?

What he is THINKING about at that moment in question is not the point.

Its his outward demeanor. How he looks. A socially inept and impaired male person maybe innocent as a baby, but can come off Looking threatening. That's the point. Loitering around and getting wound up into obsessive thoughts might make you look odd, and could make you look like a predator.

Again if this was said by a friend who was trying to be helpful but didn't know how it would be fine. It wasn't. It was said by a trained professional whose job is to help him address his struggles.

Saying "Just be friendly" to treat social/romantic anxiety is about as good advice as telling a person with panic disorder "Just stop worrying."

It's good advice, because he needs to be concentrating on how to create and nurture a connection, not obsessing on how that connection will benefit him.

The best marriages that I've observed are those where the couple are good, maybe even best, friends, as well as being turned on by each other.

Exactly. If you ever do such a strange thing as asking her out.

I'm not disagreeing with that, but the order doesn't need to be: Friend -> relationship. Could also be: Crush -> relationship -> best friends.

I just wanted to dig this ^ ^

Practice casually talking to girls until you are comfortable with them.
Practice "just being friendly".
Some things that NTs get for granted may require a lot of practice for an autistic.
Being comfortable or not is a huge nonverbal signal.

Edited

Last edited by Zack1994 on 29 May 2019, 11:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

In most fire departments, one has to pass rather rigorous physical tests.

I would guess a volunteer fire department in a small town would be somewhat different, though.

But one really has to be strong to be a firefighter. And have a strong stomach, too.

I, myself, don't believe I would have made it as a firefighter or as a cop.

That's so random and irrelevant to the post at hand that I'm perplexed as to why you'd even post it, or where the idea came from.

Marknis is not in good physical shape, he's mentioned being overweight, having underdeveloped muscles and I think he even mentioned something about neuropathy in his feet. Fire fighters need to be physically fit, strong and agile, so Marknis would need to do a lot of work in order to get to that stage,.and seeing as he's said nothing even close to indicating that he's interested in being a fire fighter, your post seems extremely random and out-of-place.

We, actually, don't know how "strong" and "agile" Marknis actually is.....

When someone mentions having underdeveloped muscles, it's pretty reasonable to conclude that they're less strong than average, and fair enough, the lack of agility is a guess based on Marknis being overweight. Overweight people tend not to be as agile as those who are not overweight. I've never seen an overweight fireman. Firefighter is one of those jobs where peak physical fitness is ideal.

I've seen overweight firemen....and obese cops.

I know what you mean, though.

It is likely that Marknis, being in a sedentary job for a long time, isn't in "prime" physical shape.

Then again, I'm not, either. I'm not in "bad" shape, and I can probably pass the minimum requirements for being a cop or fireman (and can certainly pass the requirements for the Armed Forces), but there's much more to being a cop or fireman than mere physical strength and agility.

It's good that Marknis is sticking to the library job for now.

Edited

Last edited by Zack1994 on 29 May 2019, 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've known people who are unfit/overweight get themselves into shape to join the military or fire service. If you're serious enough then a couple of months at the gym or running will help... you may even get to like it. You just don't want to be the unfittest guy in the class on day one.