Asperger's/Autism and Romantic Isolation

Page 3 of 4 [ 54 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,069
Location: New York City (Queens)

31 May 2019, 10:47 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Learning a new language is quite difficult and isn’t for everyone, especially when one can’t afford lessons or language programs.

Free online lessons are readily available these days.

Twilightprincess wrote:

He just needs to work on widening out and meeting new people.

Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to see if your local library has any groups that you’d be interested in joining. Mine has various social clubs centered around board games, video games, and writing workshops that a lot of people attend.

Community centers often have a lot to offer in this regard as well.

These are good ideas too.

_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

31 May 2019, 11:24 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

I think it would be good for you to work on building friendships with both genders. It’ll widen your circle. Sometimes guy friends have sisters or female friends and sometimes friendships with women grow into relationships.

I had friends and past and they always told me “sorry you’re not good enough for her”
Be it any female they know.

_________________
There is no place for me in the world. I'm going into the wilderness, probably to die

SportsGamer35728
Velociraptor

Joined: 6 Oct 2015
Posts: 444
Location: Vice City

01 Jun 2019, 7:04 am

Mona Pereth wrote:

SportsGamer35728 wrote:

Mona Pereth wrote:

A less exploitative -- and more affordable -- variant on the "mail order bride" idea:

Move (or convince you family to move, if you can't move on your own) to a cosmopolitan neighborhood with lots of immigrants from many different countries all over the world. (Such neighborhoods tend to be relatively inexpensive, thanks to white racial fears, although NOT nearly as dangerous or otherwise undesirable as many white people apparently imagine.)

Then, say hello and/or introduce yourself to all your neighbors whenever you happen to meet them, and gradually build a circle of acquaintances by spending time talking to anyone in the neighborhood who is willing to talk to you (whether you are attracted to them or not). Eventually you may meet, or be introduced to, someone with whom you have enough in common to have a sound basis for a real relationship, not just a marriage of convenience -- although becoming a citizen would likely be ONE of the person's goals.

Considering that Buffalo has a rapidly growing refugee population, this is actually a pretty brilliant idea!

Unfortunately my family isn't quite as worldly as I am so they probably wouldn't be too comfortable with me dating a foreigner

I'm sorry to hear the latter.

How would you describe the attitudes of your family regarding your ASD diagnosis, and with the reality that this means your life generally can't be exactly normal?

95% percent of the time they love me for who I am. It certainly doesn't hurt that I'm high-functioning enough to pass as normal most of the time :wink:

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

01 Jun 2019, 8:19 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

1. The Individual
If an individual with autism finds themselves unable to forge romantic relationships, what measures can they take to solve this problem, and improve their chances of being able to cultivate a romantic relationship?

They could try looking for people from other cultures like the mail-order bride route or they could try & take in someone who needs a place to stay. I would of done one of those things if I could of.

But you're exploiting people in bad situations who are only with you due to their bad situation. They're not with you because of shared morals or values, or anything substantive on which to build a relationship, and after the homeless woman gets back on her feet, or the mail order bride gets citizenship, what's to stop them from leaving? You've served your purpose.

I really believe that most women would grow to like & love me if they were willing to actually give me a real chance. I'm very loyal, devoted, affectionate, & supportive amongst other things.

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,554

01 Jun 2019, 8:25 am

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

They could try looking for people from other cultures like the mail-order bride route or they could try & take in someone who needs a place to stay. I would of done one of those things if I could of.

I really believe that most women would grow to like & love me if they were willing to actually give me a real chance. I'm very loyal, devoted, affectionate, & supportive amongst other things.

Great attitude!

Very inspiring! This should be stickied somewhere.

Not everyone recognizes how positive those specific traits.

_________________
“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

01 Jun 2019, 8:45 am

Twilightprincess wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

They could try looking for people from other cultures like the mail-order bride route or they could try & take in someone who needs a place to stay. I would of done one of those things if I could of.

I really believe that most women would grow to like & love me if they were willing to actually give me a real chance. I'm very loyal, devoted, affectionate, & supportive amongst other things.

Great attitude!

Very inspiring! This should be stickied somewhere.

Not everyone recognizes how positive those specific traits.

I know I have more than my fair share of disabilities, issues, & faults but I have a lot of good qualities too but they don't shine through till I'm in a romantic realtionship or till someone gets to know me very well.

I knew a couple on another forum YEARS ago. The guy had a couple disabilities but was mostly independent. However women wouldn't give him a chance 1ce they found out about his disabilities because of negative stigma & the chance that things could potentially get worse for him. There was a woman on the forum who was talking about how she needed to leave her parents(things were kinda abusive with them) & he offered to take her in. They had both been members of the forum for a while though they hadn't chatted amongst each other much so i guess they both seemed kinda legit & trustworthy to each other. She moved in with him & after a while he helped her find a job because she wanted one. He was fine with her not working but supported her being more independent if that's what she wanted. They got married a couple years later. She admitted on the forum at one point that she only got with him because of her living situation. He didn't seem to be the type she'd normally go for & she would of been freaked out because of his disabilities. She was very glad that things happened the way they did because she grew to love him & realized that his disabilities weren't as big a deal as she 1st thought.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

01 Jun 2019, 10:04 am

Twilightprincess wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

They could try looking for people from other cultures like the mail-order bride route or they could try & take in someone who needs a place to stay. I would of done one of those things if I could of.

I really believe that most women would grow to like & love me if they were willing to actually give me a real chance. I'm very loyal, devoted, affectionate, & supportive amongst other things.

Great attitude!

Very inspiring! This should be stickied somewhere.

Not everyone recognizes how positive those specific traits.

No, this talk is poetry.

The reality is that most women wouldn’t overlook his disabilities, let alone looks and sexual attraction.

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,554

01 Jun 2019, 10:07 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

They could try looking for people from other cultures like the mail-order bride route or they could try & take in someone who needs a place to stay. I would of done one of those things if I could of.

I really believe that most women would grow to like & love me if they were willing to actually give me a real chance. I'm very loyal, devoted, affectionate, & supportive amongst other things.

Great attitude!

Very inspiring! This should be stickied somewhere.

Not everyone recognizes how positive those specific traits.

No, this talk is poetry.

The reality is that most women wouldn’t overlook his disabilities, let alone looks and sexual attraction.

The reality is that Nick is in a loving relationship, so...

Most people aren’t right for any one person. The key is to look for the person who is. I think one must believe it’s possible in order to look in the first place.

_________________
“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

01 Jun 2019, 10:15 am

We need “poetry” in our lives.

We need hope.

We need to believe in the possibility of the Improbable.

Physically, I am not what women want. I had to search for something else that would attract women.

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,554

01 Jun 2019, 10:25 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

I love this.

There’s a lot of truth in poetry.

_________________
“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot

Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

01 Jun 2019, 12:45 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Poetry is considered "gay" in the Bible Belt.

I am 30 and can't even get a f*****g coffee date so I have no hope.

Apparently all I had to do was just wait for "God's plan" to manifest in this reality.

Unless you are a redneck or ghetto hip-hop thug, you need to be an iron pumping alpha male if you want a relationship in the Bible Belt.

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,554

01 Jun 2019, 1:08 pm

Marknis wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

That’s simply not true. There’s way more diversity than that in the Bible Belt.

Poets have emerged from there.

_________________
“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

01 Jun 2019, 2:12 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

They could try looking for people from other cultures like the mail-order bride route or they could try & take in someone who needs a place to stay. I would of done one of those things if I could of.

I really believe that most women would grow to like & love me if they were willing to actually give me a real chance. I'm very loyal, devoted, affectionate, & supportive amongst other things.

Great attitude!

Very inspiring! This should be stickied somewhere.

Not everyone recognizes how positive those specific traits.

No, this talk is poetry.

The reality is that most women wouldn’t overlook his disabilities, let alone looks and sexual attraction.

He's in relationship, based on his very own words, with someone on disability and with a lot of issues.

In the past the was desperate to the point that he was considering bride mail.

It's something that he is actually honest about it, he said several times that he seeked women with disability because they're way more likely to accept him. Nothing wrong with that because this is the realistic approach but that doesn't disapprove what I was saying.

TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,554

01 Jun 2019, 2:15 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

nick007 wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

They could try looking for people from other cultures like the mail-order bride route or they could try & take in someone who needs a place to stay. I would of done one of those things if I could of.

I really believe that most women would grow to like & love me if they were willing to actually give me a real chance. I'm very loyal, devoted, affectionate, & supportive amongst other things.

Great attitude!

Very inspiring! This should be stickied somewhere.

Not everyone recognizes how positive those specific traits.

No, this talk is poetry.

The reality is that most women wouldn’t overlook his disabilities, let alone looks and sexual attraction.

I doubt that he’s with her because of her disabilities alone or because that’s all he felt like he could get.

Having disabilities doesn’t make one any less worthy or lovable.

_________________
“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot

Amity
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Mar 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,714
Location: Meandering

01 Jun 2019, 2:30 pm

I think its short sighted to want to attract 'most women', it's not realistic at all... People on the autistic spectrum need a very unique partner. Nick gets this.
Being with the wrong person leads to heartbreak and the reality of wasted years.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

01 Jun 2019, 2:45 pm

Everybody is in everybody’s “league,” ultimately

There are films such as “Children of a Lesser God” which reflects this.

I don’t believe some beautiful princess is “out of my league.” I don’t like the “out of my league” concept. It’s social-Darwinist BS.

Page 3 of 4 [ 54 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Jump to:

Asperger's/Autism and Romantic Isolation Post Reply New Topic

Asperger's/Autism and Romantic Isolation