hurtloam wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Better to loved and lost then never loved at all.
It wasn't love. I don't know what it was. An empty box once I opened it.
A bad relationship isn't love. People who've been in bad relationships have never really been loved. I know people in their 50s who are now divorced and may not meet anyone else. Their whole lives, they were never really loved. It's really sad.
Many bad relationships didn’t start out bad, they just end bad. Lots of them have years of good times then turn sour. My brother and his ex had years and years of good times, then he lost his job, she became a drug addict and abusive. But he had 15 years of loving relationship and got a daughter out of it. So I doubt he regrets it, he might regret the few years he stuck with her despite her being bad. My bio dad foo was good until he started doing drugs and abusing my siblings. From what I can gather the relationship was good until then. Like my brothers ex be turned became a different person. Maybe if he’d never done drugs and got therapy for his childhood abuse.
They were loved for while. It’s easy to look back on relationship that went sour and only see the bad, but there was good that’s why they got into the relationship. I think most relationships will go sour, people who spend a lot of time together all eventually get angry at each other. People aren’t meant to be alone but don’t seem meant to spend a lot of time with same people either. Last few years living with my family sucks but it use to be good. I think we’ve lived together too long. I think it’s best to remember the good times as well as the bad and nit get jaded about relationships.
My best friend abused me last year I was friends with him, does that erase the 15 years of our friendship that was good? Does it mean he never liked me? No course not. Does it mean I should kept being his friend , no. But I was liked, he did like me, he did a lot for me, defended me a lot, he was in many ways another brother. I knew him since middle school. So 12 years old until I was 24/25. I don’t regret our friendship. I wish he hadn’t changed. I miss our friendship, I miss my best friend. He changed, my best friend died, killed by this new person he became. I could look back and say he never liked me and the whole friendship was abusive, but that wouldn’t be true. No one had my back like he did before that last year. He’d probably given up his life to save me if need be and me for him. I’ve seen and known many who had such relationships, they had many years of good times, people change, doesn’t erase the good times. People can love and like you then years later don’t anymore, that doesn’t erase that they did at one point. People who keep that like or love together until death are rare.
I think this irritates me, I think if most people evaluate the whole relationship they’d see this, but the pain from the abuse is more current end overrides it.
Movie and book sequel likewise tend to ruin the series, but thst doesn’t erase the good of the first movie or books. Land before time is a great movie, it’s sequels should be destroyed.
You can remember the good without forgetting the bad. When I think of my old friend I remember the good years. I won’t let the body year make me jaded against friendships.which is what I think a lot of people do after relationships go sour. I see a lot of women’s profiles with rants about men cause of their sour relationships. I’m like why are you even trying to date then. Even if they asked me on date I’d say no, they jaded, I’d never live past their jade. So until they can see the good and move past thy really should date. That’s irrelevant though as I’m not considered good enough by them.
_________________
There is no place for me in the world. I'm going into the wilderness, probably to die
14 Oct 2019, 12:27 pm
