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Why do feminists say men are not entitled to SEX!?

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TwilightPrincess
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16 Dec 2019, 8:21 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
magz wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I’m really bad when it comes to procrastination, but I’m getting better at it. Writing to do lists always helps.
Oh, you want to be better at it!
Writing to do lists as a form of procrastination? Hmmmm... :chin:


Yeah, I’ve been known to fill up the list with easy stuff, do those things, and then not do the one thing that I needed to. LOL

Lists were especially helpful, though, when I was in college and had various deadlines. My memory is awful, and I’d completely forget something important unless I wrote it down. I’d usually write it in a list format because I always had stuff to get done by Monday, Wednesday, or Friday for every class, and it’d help me figure out a study schedule.

With ADHD, I think I need to organize more than most people.


And, sometimes I forget to write it down.


Yeah, that happens to me, too. I try to make myself write it down right away so that doesn’t happen, though.


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CarlM
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16 Dec 2019, 9:08 pm

ANGRYASPERGERINCEL wrote:
Like in this thread, she calls herself "Twilightprincess" :x

viewtopic.php?t=383209

What the hell is her problem!? And who said they thought they were entitled to sex!? I don't understand feminists, they make me angry.

:x :x :x :x :x


I don't think she said anything outrageous. She is just being honest about the common female view of sex.

I have learned on WP that we believe many aspies have high (or low) sex drives. I found that to be a problem in finding a partner in that it made it difficult to separate the social and sexual parts of flirting and dating. You should probably seek more specific advice here from both sexes rather than just being angry.

Anyhoo, you did start an entertaining discussion with your angry post :).


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TwilightPrincess
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16 Dec 2019, 9:29 pm

CarlM wrote:
ANGRYASPERGERINCEL wrote:
Like in this thread, she calls herself "Twilightprincess" :x

viewtopic.php?t=383209

What the hell is her problem!? And who said they thought they were entitled to sex!? I don't understand feminists, they make me angry.

:x :x :x :x :x


I don't think she said anything outrageous. She is just being honest about the common female view of sex.

I have learned on WP that we believe many aspies have high (or low) sex drives. I found that to be a problem in finding a partner in that it made it difficult to separate the social and sexual parts of flirting and dating. You should probably seek more specific advice here from both sexes rather than just being angry.

Anyhoo, you did start an entertaining discussion with your angry post :).


He’s been banned, so we won’t be hearing more from him.

In what way is my “common female view” of sex different from the common male view?


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The Grand Inquisitor
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16 Dec 2019, 9:30 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I think it’s rather laudatory to rub an incel the wrong way.

Perhaps I’ll make it a habit whenever I have a free Monday afternoon in the future.

I never said it was just incels you're rubbing the wrong way.


That’s fine, too.

You can’t please everyone.

Just because someone disagrees with me or is rubbed the wrong way, doesn’t make me wrong.

This is true.

What you said about entitlement is correct, but I don't think there was anyone in that thread that had expressed any sentiments that were oppositional to that view.


I really don’t want to go into what could be construed as attacking a member from a different thread. I was concerned as far as how his desire to “get sex” was expressed. It was kind of an icky way of putting it. It reduces a human being to a sexual object. Since he’s having trouble getting it, he said that it was “unfair because everyone deserves to be happy.”

If the conversation was more about love or relationships, it’d be a little different. Like I said on that thread, it’s not “unfair.” It’s our own responsibility to take care of that sexual need, not someone else’s. It also puts a lot of sexual pressure on a relationship that shouldn’t be there in the first place. It’s a problem that he’s implying that he can’t be happy without someone providing him with sex.

I wanted to express these nuances in a straightforward manner because I know, from experience, that such thinking could be bad in the context of a relationship.

I was blunt and straightforward to make things clear.

Fair enough.

I missed the part where he said that it was unfair and everybody deserves to be happy, so I guess I understand it a little bit more with that context. Personally, I still don't think that he was implying that he should be entitled to have sex with a woman if he wants. You can be sad that that's not an option available to you without feeling as though another person owes it to you.

I still don't think dismissing his desires was a good or constructive way to go about anything, like you did when you told him to just masturbate. As I've said on a couple of different threads now, there are things that you get from sex with someone who's into it that are absent in masturbation, or even sex with a prostitute, so if you are more concerned with those things and less concerned with the "getting off" element of it, then masturbation isn't going to give you what you're looking for.

Now that I've typed that out, I'm curious... What would you tell someone who had no friends, family or social connections of any kind if they said they could really use a hug, and nobody was willing to give them a hug? Would you tell them that they're not entitled to being hugged and they should just sick it up? Would you tell them to hug a pillow or something because that's somehow meant to be an adequate substitute?



TwilightPrincess
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16 Dec 2019, 9:43 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I think it’s rather laudatory to rub an incel the wrong way.

Perhaps I’ll make it a habit whenever I have a free Monday afternoon in the future.

I never said it was just incels you're rubbing the wrong way.


That’s fine, too.

You can’t please everyone.

Just because someone disagrees with me or is rubbed the wrong way, doesn’t make me wrong.

This is true.

What you said about entitlement is correct, but I don't think there was anyone in that thread that had expressed any sentiments that were oppositional to that view.


I really don’t want to go into what could be construed as attacking a member from a different thread. I was concerned as far as how his desire to “get sex” was expressed. It was kind of an icky way of putting it. It reduces a human being to a sexual object. Since he’s having trouble getting it, he said that it was “unfair because everyone deserves to be happy.”

If the conversation was more about love or relationships, it’d be a little different. Like I said on that thread, it’s not “unfair.” It’s our own responsibility to take care of that sexual need, not someone else’s. It also puts a lot of sexual pressure on a relationship that shouldn’t be there in the first place. It’s a problem that he’s implying that he can’t be happy without someone providing him with sex.

I wanted to express these nuances in a straightforward manner because I know, from experience, that such thinking could be bad in the context of a relationship.

I was blunt and straightforward to make things clear.

Fair enough.

I missed the part where he said that it was unfair and everybody deserves to be happy, so I guess I understand it a little bit more with that context. Personally, I still don't think that he was implying that he should be entitled to have sex with a woman if he wants. You can be sad that that's not an option available to you without feeling as though another person owes it to you.

I still don't think dismissing his desires was a good or constructive way to go about anything, like you did when you told him to just masturbate. As I've said on a couple of different threads now, there are things that you get from sex with someone who's into it that are absent in masturbation, or even sex with a prostitute, so if you are more concerned with those things and less concerned with the "getting off" element of it, then masturbation isn't going to give you what you're looking for.

Now that I've typed that out, I'm curious... What would you tell someone who had no friends, family or social connections of any kind if they said they could really use a hug, and nobody was willing to give them a hug? Would you tell them that they're not entitled to being hugged and they should just sick it up? Would you tell them to hug a pillow or something because that's somehow meant to be an adequate substitute?


Telling him to masturbate was extremely constructive advice that I’m quite proud of. In the thread, he seemed more interested in casual sex to fulfill sexual needs (that he could fulfill himself) than in a relationship with a person. In such scenarios, I think masturbation should suffice. For me personally, it’d be (and is) vastly preferable. It’s extremely doubtful that a random encounter would even be enjoyable. My advice might have been slightly different in another context. Just wanting sex is one thing desiring a loving relationship is another...

Sex and hugging are not equivalent things although I do hate it when people are pushy and insist on hugging me when I don’t want to be hugged. Can they not tell that I’m actively backing away from them? Ugh!

Anyway, for people who want hugs, they can’t just talk about their need for hugs and their desire for someone to fulfill that need separate from everything else. People aren’t on the lookout for someone they can casually hug (if they are, they need to stop LOL). They actually need to form relationships. Hugging, while potentially pleasant, isn’t viewed as a need in the way that sexual needs are.


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envirozentinel
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17 Dec 2019, 12:35 am

He's gone now, but OP is entitled to get an inflatable doll.

Which is how he seems to view females.


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17 Dec 2019, 1:31 am

Why this isn’t locked?



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17 Dec 2019, 1:42 am

Perhaps we can show more compassion for others no matter what gender they are and what sort of problems they might face. Being a male that talks about their feelings, needs and desires are wildly unpopular and can be downright repulsive if they don't meet the benchmark of "manliness" and societal expectations. I do not like the tone of the op, but there is an underlying problem which leads some men to act out in resentment when they are taught to avoid expressing their feelings and then when they do, get told to man up.


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17 Dec 2019, 1:46 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Why this isn’t locked?

"Too entertaining to lock"?
I've seen this in another thread once.


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17 Dec 2019, 7:45 am

blackicmenace wrote:
Perhaps we can show more compassion for others no matter what gender they are and what sort of problems they might face. Being a male that talks about their feelings, needs and desires are wildly unpopular and can be downright repulsive if they don't meet the benchmark of "manliness" and societal expectations. I do not like the tone of the op, but there is an underlying problem which leads some men to act out in resentment when they are taught to avoid expressing their feelings and then when they do, get told to man up.


I would have trouble showing compassion to an incel although advising him to talk to someone about his anger issues would be potentially helpful advice.

Most men don’t “act out” in this way. I think society’s views regarding manliness are less strident than they used to be, but of course, that is probably dependent on where one lives.


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17 Dec 2019, 8:02 am

envirozentinel wrote:
He's gone now, but OP is entitled to get an inflatable doll.

Which is how he seems to view females.


It’s best to wait until after the holidays when they go on sale.


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magz
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17 Dec 2019, 8:21 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
Perhaps we can show more compassion for others no matter what gender they are and what sort of problems they might face. Being a male that talks about their feelings, needs and desires are wildly unpopular and can be downright repulsive if they don't meet the benchmark of "manliness" and societal expectations. I do not like the tone of the op, but there is an underlying problem which leads some men to act out in resentment when they are taught to avoid expressing their feelings and then when they do, get told to man up.
I would have trouble showing compassion to an incel although advising him to talk to someone about his anger issues would be potentially helpful advice.

Most men don’t “act out” in this way. I think society’s views regarding manliness are less strident than they used to be, but of course, that is probably dependent on where one lives.

I have a lot of compassion for men who can't properly express emotions, otherwise I couldn't have any male friends.
I have compassion for men who are lonely and get frustrated.
But I won't have sex with anyone out of compassion, right? And my compassion does not change my expectation of being recognized as a valid human being and respected as such.

BTW, I don't identify as a feminist. I believe all people should be respected as humans, being male or female or nonbinary is nothing fundamental about it.


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TwilightPrincess
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17 Dec 2019, 8:28 am

magz wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
Perhaps we can show more compassion for others no matter what gender they are and what sort of problems they might face. Being a male that talks about their feelings, needs and desires are wildly unpopular and can be downright repulsive if they don't meet the benchmark of "manliness" and societal expectations. I do not like the tone of the op, but there is an underlying problem which leads some men to act out in resentment when they are taught to avoid expressing their feelings and then when they do, get told to man up.
I would have trouble showing compassion to an incel although advising him to talk to someone about his anger issues would be potentially helpful advice.

Most men don’t “act out” in this way. I think society’s views regarding manliness are less strident than they used to be, but of course, that is probably dependent on where one lives.

I have a lot of compassion for men who can't properly express emotions, otherwise I couldn't have any male friends.
I have compassion for men who are lonely and get frustrated.
But I won't have sex with anyone out of compassion, right? And my compassion does not change my expectation of being recognized as a valid human being and respected as such.


Yeah, but just because a man has trouble with expressing emotions doesn’t mean that he needs to become an incel. I don’t think that such people are worthy of my compassion although they do make amusing threads.


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17 Dec 2019, 8:31 am

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines feminism as “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.”

That’s how I would define it myself. There’s nothing inherently wrong with such a concept, and I’m puzzled as to why it riles people up on here. Many of my professors in college were and are feminists.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 17 Dec 2019, 8:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

magz
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17 Dec 2019, 8:35 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
The New Oxford American Dictionary defines feminism as “the advocacy of women’s rights based on the basis of the equality of the sexes.”

By this definition, feminism has done enough for me and all I need to do about it is live my life enjoying it :D


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17 Dec 2019, 8:40 am

magz wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The New Oxford American Dictionary defines feminism as “the advocacy of women’s rights based on the basis of the equality of the sexes.”

By this definition, feminism has done enough for me and all I need to do about it is live my life enjoying it :D


By the way, this is a typical definition. It was certainly the basis of my women’s studies classes in college.

There are things that need to change still, but there’s not nearly as much as there used to be.


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